Jiyo life full (Funny Ideas/view point)

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@Barood bhai, der a Jokes thread which has been followed by many of us. I suggest u post der too so dat they dont miss.

http://www.desidime.com/forums/dost-and-dimes/t…

how to post pics in desi dime ?

singhkamaljeet155 wrote:

how to post pics in desi dime ?

http://www.desidime.com/forums/site-questions-i...

U can try this

singhkamaljeet155 wrote:

how to post pics in desi dime ?

Go through this link : Credit Neo

http://www.desidime.com/forums/site-questions-i…

where is the boss sonia gandhi

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Senior………….

A lawyer and a senior citizen are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that seniors are so dumb that he could get one over on them easily.

So, the lawyer asks if the senior would like to play a fun game.

The senior is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, saying that the game is a lot of fun….

“I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me only $5.00.

Then you ask me one, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00," he says.

This catches the senior’s attention and, to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question.

“What’s the distance from the Earth to the Moon?”

The senior doesn’t say a word, but reaches into his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

Now, it’s the senior’s turn. He asks the lawyer,

“What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?”

The lawyer uses his laptop to search all references he can find on the Net.

He sends E-mails to all the smart friends he knows; all to no avail. After an hour of searching, he finally gives up.

He wakes the senior and hands him $500.00. The senior pockets the $500.00 and goes right back to sleep.

The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer. He wakes the senior up and asks,

“Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?”

The senior reaches into his pocket, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

Don’t mess with the Seniors

This is scary

Check out your, your friends etc where they live.

Another piece amazing of technology! Much faster than Google Earth.

After opening the link below, type in the address you want…..slowly,

London, Leicester, Birmingham etc.

Melbourne, Adelaide, Brisbane, overseas, anywhere, letter by letter, space by space, and watch each time where it takes you.

When typing an address, type in the number, followed by the street, suburb, state, country.

It may get you there before you finish the full address!!

http://showmystree...m/

What causes the most accidents ???

Not cell phones….

Not the radio………

Not the GPS monitor……

Not talking………….

Not texting…………..

Not watching a car video……

Not changing a CD…….

The most frequent causes of accidents

are caused by:

Yep !!!….

You guessed it !!!….

Inappropriate footwear !!!!

@B@R_0_0_D wrote:@

This is scary



Check out your, your friends etc where they live.


Another piece amazing of technology! Much faster than Google Earth.


After opening the link below, type in the address you want…..slowly,


London, Leicester, Birmingham etc.

Melbourne, Adelaide, Brisbane, overseas, anywhere, letter by letter, space by space, and watch each time where it takes you.



When typing an address, type in the number, followed by the street, suburb, state, country.



It may get you there before you finish the full address!!



http://showmystree...m/


Right bro very fast

Easy Jet

• Some of the people you meet on Easy Jet.*

Cherish yourself

by Bharat Savur

Nurturing a sense of self-worth is needed to maintain inner peace…

Sit comfortably, eyes closed gently and repeat a mantra. A question for a sociological survey read: ‘Despite unhealthy living conditions, the health of citizens is better due to medical facilities. Answer ‘Yes’ or ‘No’.’ I ticked ‘No.’

True, medical facilities are better. Moreover, people are exercising, eating quite sensibly, taking their medication regularly, but… good health still eludes.

Take Ela, 36, one of the people I just described. Conscientious to the core about her workout, food, medication, responsibilities, yet beset with spondylitis, hypothyroid, arthritis. Now arrives another symptom — a buzzing in her ears. She has been advised to consult an ENT specialist. “Aren’t I ever going to be healthy?” she asks feelingly.

Over years I have observed that if you don’t have a sense of being centred in your life, you fall ill again and again. Author JK Rowling of Harry Potter fame got it on the button when she told Oprah Winfrey, “I will continue writing. I’m not looking for success. I need to write for mental health.” Meaning, writing centres her.

The question is: what are you centring your life around? Your family? Career? They are beautiful, but please understand, they are external aspects, they are not you. Like a wheel has a hub, you need a deep, unshakeable personal centre point too — a great rock-strong sense of self-worth.

When you centre your life in self-worth, you are in harmony, at peace. When you don’t, you worry. When you act from an inner worth, you bring joy, abundance, wellness to yourself. Worry, unease, sadness, pressure and yes, illness, are signals that worth has gone missing. How do you re-establish it?

Accept and love yourself exactly as you are. You may have flaws. Who doesn’t? Don’t brood over your ‘weaknesses’. I have seen beauty in all kinds of people. I’ve seen men whom society dubs ‘unemployed wastrels’ being the best, kindest dads in the world, generously giving time and space to their kids. Such people don’t need jobs, they have themselves, a beautiful sense of self-worth. Reflect upon this. When you judge others by the prejudicial yardstick of society, you judge yourself by the same artificial yardstick, then worry and despair. So, stop judging and accept everybody unconditionally, including yourself, and open your doors to healing.

Take a decision when in doubt. It doesn’t matter whether it’s right or wrong. Wisdom says: there is no right or wrong, only the higher good. Being decisive keeps the digestion and nerves relaxed and healthy. Everyday, according to the situations, decide graciously to renounce, to lose an argument, to forge ahead despite opposition. To do everything with grace is to direct compassion to oneself.

Don’t compare your life with others’. You don’t know their secret sufferings, the crosses they bear. When any such thought enters your mind, dilute it with a bright “I’m having a beautiful life!” Repeat… repeat until your mind shifts, mood lightens. Words have power. Positive words awaken dormant beauty and bliss.

Be a bee. Many negative people don’t want their problems solved because it ends their personal drama of ‘the wounded one’. They’d rather complain, paint life with dull or dire pessimistic colours.

To lament is to live with a mental wound, to bruise your immune system because the body listens intently and responds empathetically to your woes or joys. So, give it joy. Be a bee. It doesn’t sting itself. It doesn’t think it’s too small or insignificant. That’s how it produces sweet, healing honey. Every time the impulse to complain arises, take three steps: Stop. Check. Sweeten.

Release emotional congestion. Emotional complexes and conflicts lead to respiratory problems, muscular tension and a wave of despairing meaninglessness. Set it right with three practices:

One: Stand with feet apart. Bend from your waist, your arms hanging loosely in front of you. Remain in this deliberately lax posture until all tension drains and you don’t feel suffocated anymore.

Two: Sit comfortably, eyes closed gently and repeat a mantra. Let your thoughts — be they of worthlessness or pleasant — go without you getting involved with them. Over the days, thanks to your detachment, you’ll find a fresh, cleansed feeling in the mind.

Three: Have handy a beautiful phrase to fill your mind, and chant it: “I vibrate in harmony with the universe.” Soon, this becomes your natural response and then your natural belief pattern.

Live each day with purpose. Treat all tasks, big and small, as of deep and precious significance and give them your best. Flush with your earnest efforts, you will no longer feel worthless and weary, but full and vibrant.

Scorn nothing and bask in the ensuing peace. Walk the path of purpose with a clean mind and hear a thousand songs spring from your heart.

C*herish your body with exercise and health-promoting food. Cherish your mind with beautiful, poetic thoughts. And never forget to cherish yourself as the soul whose mere presence brings body and mind alive. It is your day, your year, your world, your life. Power it with your special spark.*

The writer is co-author of the book ‘Fitness for Life’.

KBC…

Sonia Gandhi in Kaun Banega Karodpati ?

Amitabh: Soniaji, ab aakhri saval,
5 Crore ke liye.

Who is the chief minister of Gujarat ?
Your options are…

A) LALOO PRASAD.
B) VILASRAO DESHMUKH.
C) ARJUN SINGH.
D) NARENDRA MODI..

Soniaji : It’s , Narendra Modi.
Amitabh : Are you sure ? Lock kar doon?

*Sonia : If you really lock him, *

I will give you 100 Crore!

Wake with energy

by Bharat Savur

It’s a bit like grieving. You sleep heavily at night, all eight hours of it. But, next morning, you don’t want to open your eyes. You feel sleepy, tired, lethargic, find getting out of bed onerous, yawn through the day, can barely cope with the simplest task, and are always on the lookout for opportunities to get another 40 winks.

If this sluggishness persists or keeps returning, please check with your doctor. It could be a thyroid condition. If not, gently try and figure out what you are running away from. Why the retreat? What status quo are you clinging on to, what change do you fear? Remember, it’s okay to let it all hang out, “I’m scared of the promotion I’ve been given, I’m not sure I can cope”; or “I’m scared I’ll be retrenched.” Remember too, in life, all ferocious tigers turn out to be mewing cats; all slithering snakes turn out to be inert pieces of rope.

Instead of snuggling into your blanket and retreating into Sleep City in the morning, lie on your back, arms straight out, eyes closed. Breathe deeply three times: inhale fresh hope… exhale stale worry… Now, feel you are going beyond all emotions and into the silent tranquil depths of your being. Visualise a light shining constantly — this is your true state, where there’s no darkness. Feel this eternal light becoming a golden healing liquid and filling your whole body. Hold this picture. Feel your body stilling, your mind in a trance-like calm. Know that all is well. Nobody can force you to do something you don’t want to do. Nothing can scare you. You are free… you are free… Open your eyes and look at the familiar surroundings that have stood the test of time. Get out of bed and face the day. The light outside cannot match in luminous brightness the light inside you.

It is said, ‘One who cannot digest food, cannot digest life.’ Have a look at what you eat. Drop alcohol; drop all heavy oily foods from your regular menu. They weigh you down; they cause congestion in your system. For three days, have only raw salads, or a warm vegetable stew (pumpkin, tomato, carrot, french beans boiled in water with salt, pepper, bay leaf, coriander leaves) with hot ginger-fennel-seed tea sweetened with honey. You will feel a positive lightening in your body. Your stomach will flatten noticeably as the congestion eases. After three days, continue to eat light, fat-free, easy-to-digest food.

Tip: If you eat dinner at a restaurant with friends/clients, chances are it’s heavy, creamy food (as they grind cashewnuts and cream with their curries), then go on a vegetable stew diet the next day.

To capitalise on the body-lightness and make it work for you, start exercising. Walking for 45 minutes is highly recommended as you get a beautiful dose of fresh air and life-giving sunlight too. In addition, play a sport such as badminton, squash, table tennis, and tennis. You need to get your heart pumping, your blood coursing vigorously through your body as also keep your mind interested and alert in scoring points. Make this sport the highlight of each day, something you keenly look forward to. It makes getting out of bed worthwhile. Before you walk, before you play, affirm repeatedly, “I will my energy to flow to every cell!” with growing intensity.

Please understand the intrinsic beauty, the truth underlying the sluggishness. At your best, you are a steadfast, solid kind of person. However, steadfastness carried to an extreme can make one too set in one’s ways to the point of stagnation — this is where dullness sets in and a fear of change develops. So, it is important to ally your inherent stability with a more fluid consciousness, a more flexible, reaching-out attitude. Come alive! Let the flow from dullness to dynamism come from you. Awaken that sleeping will! Think in terms of spending time consciously in figuring out beautiful, new, unique ways to get joy out of life.

One great way is to add joy, add value to other people’s lives. It doesn’t take any effort. Call to enquire after a friend’s well-being. Tip the deliveryman a little extra — if you’re wondering ‘Should I tip him Rs 10 or Rs 20’, always choose the higher figure. He feels good and… you feel good too! Send appreciative notes to people who’ve done things for you. Listen lovingly, attentively to people who want to talk to you, don’t shut yourself off. Generating good feelings that flow and float all around you is very much like the yogis standing in waist-deep water to feel the swirling grace of the waters of life flow around them.

Daily, stand under a cold shower until all sluggishness is washed off, replaced by a tingling vibrant feeling. Come out, sit down and breathe 10 times through your left nostril while keeping your right nostril shut. Then breathe 10 times through your right nostril. Repeat until the breath flows with equal ease through both nostrils. Feel the harmony you’ve created inside you with your breath. Feel the joy arise… arise… within you…

Take each Day as it comes

*
People lose their health to make money;*

Then lose their money to restore their health.

By thinking anxiously about the future,

They forget their present such that

They live neither for the present nor the future.

They live as if they will never die,

And they die as if they have never lived.

Take each day as it comes,

and live each day to the fullest.

The Deadliest Weapon….The Tongue

The Greatest Joy…Giving

The Most Destructive Habit..Worry

The Best Gift…..Forgiveness

The Greatest Knowledge…..God

The greatest Mistake…..Giving Up

The Best Sleeping Pill…Peace of Mind.

The Most Crippling Disease….Excuses

Our Greatest Natural Resource…Our Youth.

The Most Endangered species…Dedicated Leaders

Most Prized Possession….Integrity

Most Powerful Communication…Prayer!

Our Greatest stumbling Block….Egotism

Most Contagious Spirit….Enthusiasm

The Greatest problem to Overcome…Fear.

The Most Beautiful Attire….A Smile

The greatest asset -———- FAITH

Indian police still using truth serum – Guardian

ndian police still using truth serum

Use of Sodium Pentothal to secure confessions – classified by some as torture – still common in certain regions of India

A person injected with “truth serum” is generally too woozy to give lengthy explanations, but can supply answers to certain questions and clues. Photograph: Valentin Flauraud/Reuters

It is the sort of scene that belongs in a film noir, not a 21st-century democracy: an uncooperative suspect being injected with a dose of “truth serum” in an attempt to elicit a confession. But some detectives in India still swear by so-called narcoanalysis despite India’s highest court ruling that it was not only unreliable but also “cruel, inhuman and degrading”.

The technique is back in the news after officers from India’s Central Bureau of Investigation (CBI) asked a judge for permission to administer sodium pentothal to a high-profile Indian politician and his financial adviser embroiled in a corruption case. The drug is a barbiturate that acts on the central nervous system, dissolving anxiety, inducing drowsiness and even unconsciousness.

Many experts believe narcoanalysis can be classed as torture under the United Nations Convention against Torture. Though India signed the convention in 1997, its parliament never ratified it.

Life Is Very Short.

Life is very short, so break your silly ego, forgive quickly,
believe slowly, love truly, laugh loudly & never avoid anything
that makes you smile.

When I woke up this morning lying in bed, I was asking myself,
What are some of the secrets of success in life?
I found the answer right there, in my very room.

Carry a Heart that Never Hates.

Carry a Smile that Never Fades.

Carry a Touch that Never Hurts.

HAVE A HAPPY DAY!

Lunch with God

A little boy wanted to meet god.
He knew it was a long trip to where god lived, so he packed his suitcase with a bag of crisps (potato chips) and a six-pack of root beer and started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman.
She was sitting in the park, just staring at some pigeons.
The boy sat down next to her and opened his suitcase.
He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the old lady looked hungry, so he offered her some chips.
She gratefully accepted it and smiled at him.
Her smile was so pretty that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered her a root beer.
Again, she smiled at him.

The boy was delighted!
They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.
As twilight approached, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave; but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the old woman, and gave her a hug.
She gave him her biggest smile ever.
When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face.
She asked him, “what did you do today that made you so happy?”
He replied, “I had lunch with god."
But before his mother could respond, he added, “you know what? She’s got the most beautiful smile I’ve ever seen!”
Meanwhile, the old woman, also radiant with joy, returned to her home.
Her son was stunned by the look of peace on her face and he asked, “mother, what did you do today that made you so happy?”
She replied! “I ate potato chips in the park with god.”
However, before her son responded, she added, “you know, he’s much younger than I expected."
Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime!

Embrace all equally!

You Mean That’s a Real Man?

Zig Ziglar

Around the turn of the century, a tour guide was giving some underprivileged youngsters a tour of the Brooklyn Museum of Art. Close to the entrance, there was a magnificent statue which was identified as one of the Greek gods. The guide explained that the model for the statue had been an athlete. At that point, Angelo Siciliano, a scrawny Italian youngster who probably qualified as the original “97-pound weakling,” exclaimed in astonishment, “You mean there was a man who really looked like that?” The tour guide assured him that yes, there really was.

Later in the tour the guide realized that one of the youngsters was missing so he retraced his steps and there, gazing at the statue, was little Angelo Siciliano. As the youngster looked at the statue, he started to dream that if one man could look like that, so could another.

Angelo began inquiring about exercise equipment and even wrote to the companies which produced the equipment. However, the cost of the equipment was far beyond his financial reach. This did not dampen Angelo’s enthusiasm, because he was determined to look like that man in the statue. He started exercising on his own and developed a process called “dynamic tension.” As a result, his body grew and matured. As a matter of fact, his body developed so beautifully that eventually he was recognized as having the most perfect body in the world.

By now some of you old-timers might have guessed that I’m talking about Charles Atlas. Little Angelo Siciliano had dreamed a dream; he had seen the fulfilment. He made it happen by pursuing that dream and working awfully hard for many years.

Message: When the door closes (no money for exercise equipment), look for the window. You just might discover your own “dynamic tension.” Give it a try and I’ll see you at the top!