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Laugh Out Seriously! :D

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neoman

“The sense of humour should be directed towards oneself. It is a very great thing to laugh at oneself, and he who can laugh at himself gradually becomes full of concern and compassion for others.

In the entire world no event, no subject invites laughter like oneself."

— Osho

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@B@R_0_0_D wrote:@

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Ahmed Patel: Madam, Modi addressed a rally of 1.5 lakh ex-servicemen at Rewari in Haryana.

Madam: Kya ? Itni badi zameen Haryana mein, aur abhi Tak public ground ???

Raaaabert !!!!

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पहले गाँधी एक था
और उसके बंदर तिन
🙊🙉🙈

अब गाँधी तीन
(राहुल, प्रियंका, सोनिया)
और उनका बंदर एक
मनमोहन ….

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Pakistan PM: Nawaz Sharif

Indian PM: Na-Aawaz Na-Sharif

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@B@R_0_0_D wrote:@

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The parents who smoke, reach out to God, shortly

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  • Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself – Mark Twain
  • A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul – George Bernard Shaw
  • A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money – G Gordon Liddy
  • Foreign aid might be defined as a transfer of money from poor people in rich countries to rich people in poor countries – Douglas Casey, Classmate of Bill Clinton at Georgetown University
  • Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it – Jim Trousdale
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Psychiatrists

Two psychiatrists were at a convention. As they conversed over a drink, one asked, “What was your most difficult case?”

The other replied. “I had a patient who lived in a pure fantasy world. He believed that an uncle in South America was going to die and leave him a fortune. All day long, he waited for a letter to arrive from an attorney. He never went out, he never did anything, he merely sat around and waited for this fantasy letter from this fantasy uncle. I worked with this man eight years.” “What was the result?” “It was an eight-year struggle. Every day for eight years, but finally I cured him. And then that stupid letter arrived!”
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On their wedding night,

the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed. This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he’d be able to find another job. Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly $1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million. She explained that she had ‘charged’ him , and these were the results of her savings and investments.

The husband was so astounded he could barely speak. Finally he found his voice and blurted out, ‘If I’d had any idea what you were doing, I would have had only with you.’ That’s when she shot him.

You know, *men just don’t know when to keep their mouth shut ,specially when drunk. 😎🙊🙈😋

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Frustrated with the same old questions, my profeesor ripped off his shirt in the middle of lecture

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