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Laugh Out Seriously! :D

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“The sense of humour should be directed towards oneself. It is a very great thing to laugh at oneself, and he who can laugh at himself gradually becomes full of concern and compassion for others.

In the entire world no event, no subject invites laughter like oneself."

— Osho

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A mother is driving her little girl to her friend’s house for a play date.

‘Mommy,’ the little girl asks, ‘how old are you?’

‘Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,’ the mother replied.
’It’s not polite.’

‘OK’, the little girl says,
‘How much do you weigh?’

‘Now really,’ the mother says,‘those are personal questions and are really none of your business.’

Undaunted, the little girl asks,‘Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?’

’That’s enough questions, young lady! Honestly!’

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

‘My Mom won’t tell me anything about her,’ the little girl says to her friend.

‘Well,’ says the friend, ‘all you need to do is look at her driver’s license.
It’s like a report card, it has everything on it.’

Later that night the little girl says to her mother,
‘I know how old you are. You are 32.’

The mother is surprised and asks,
’How did you find that out?

‘I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.’

The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
‘How in Heaven’s name did you find that out?’

‘and,’ the little girl says triumphantly,
‘I know why you and daddy got a divorce.’

‘Oh really?’ the mother asks. ‘Why?’

’Because you got an F in sex.

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एक आदमी ने जाट से लिफ्ट मांग ली।

आगे रैड लाइट थी जाट ने बड़ी तेजी से गाड़ी को निकाल दिया पीछे बैठा आदमी डर गया।

आदमी :“चौधरी साहब, रैड लाइट थी”

जाट :"हम

जाट हैं रैड लाइट पे नहीं रुकते"

फिर रैड लाइट आई फिर निकाल लिया, आदमी और ज्यादा डर गया।

आदमी :“चौधरी साहब, मरवाओगे क्या रैड लाइट थी”

जाट :“हम जाट हैं जाट रैड लाइट पे नहीं रुकते”

आगे ग्रीन

लाइट आई तो जाट ने जोर का ब्रैक मारा और वही रुक गया।

आदमी :“चौधरी साहब, अब तो चलो ग्रीन लाइट है”

चौधरी :“अबे मरवावैगा के, उधर से तेरा फूफा कोई दूसरा जाट आ रहा होगा तो…?”.

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Mother-in-law

A husband and wife stepped up to view the body of his mother-in-law.

As he began to cry, his wife punched him and said:
Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway !

I know he replied, I thought I saw her move !

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Mexican Oysters

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico.

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table.

Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful.

He asked the waiter, ‘What is that you just served?’

The waiter replied, ‘Ah Señor, you have excellent taste!
Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull’s testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!’

The cowboy said, ‘What the heck, bring me an order.’

The waiter replied, ‘I am so sorry Señor.
There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning.
If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.’

The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day.
After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said,
‘These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday.’

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, ‘Si, Señor, sometimes the bull wins.’

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Idle curiosity

1.Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2.Why is the third hand on the watch
Called the second hand?

3.If a word is misspelled in the dictionary,
How would we ever know?

4.If Webster wrote the first dictionary,
Where did he find the words?

5.Why do we say something is out of whack?
What is a whack?

6.Why does “slow down” and
“Slow up” mean the same thing?


7.Why does “fat chance” and “slim chance”
Mean the same thing?

8.Why do “tug” boats push their barges?

9.Why do we sing “Take me out to the ball game”
When we are already there?

10.Why are they called " stands"
When they are made for sitting?

11.Why is it called “after dark”
When it really is “after light”?

12.Doesn’t “expecting the unexpected”
Make the unexpected expected?


13.Why are a “wise man” and
A “wise guy” opposite?

14.Why do “overlook” and “oversee”
Mean opposite things?

15.Why is “phonics” Not spelled
The way it sounds?

16.If work is so terrific,
Why do they have to pay you to do it?

17.If all the world is a stage,
Where is the audience sitting?

18.If love is blind,
Why is lingerie so popular?


19.If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia,
Can you read all right?

20.Why is bra singular
And panties plural?

21.Why do you press harder On the buttons of a remote control
When you know the batteries are dead?

22.Why do we put suits in garment bags
And garments in a suitcase?

23.How come abbreviated
Is such a long word?


24.Why do we wash bath towels?
Aren’t we clean when we use them?

25.Why doesn’t glue
Stick to the inside of the bottle?

26.Why do they call it a TV set
When you only have one?

27.Christmas – What other time of the year
Do you sit in front of a dead tree And eat candy out of your socks?

28.Why do we drive on a parkway
And park on a driveway?

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Cartoons V/s Reality
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Happened today in math class; the teacher was sitting there for a good 5-10 minutes

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The Bride kissed her father and placed some thing in his hand.

Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride. The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something.

So he announced: " Ladies and Gentlemen, today is the luckiest day of my life. Then he raised his hands with what is his daughter gave him and said……

My daughter has finally returned my Credit Card to me!!!"

The whole audience burst into laughter 

……. Except the Groom

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