Men r jus appy people √
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Why Men are Seldom Depressed
Men Are Just Happier People
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack…
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes.
Men Are Just Happier People
EATING OUT When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, outcome the pocket calculators…YEP!!!
MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.
DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man can forget his mistakes. There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!
another Baroodi thread.
but where are the pics ?
Very nice comparison!
@newbiee wrote:
“Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.”
^^ sounds offensivebut funny as heck
NOT true though
I have a girl who looked preetier when she woke up.
May be because she was sleeping alone, not sure 
@B@R_0_0_D wrote:
i always keep seeing ur new DP 
ये कहानी इक ऐसे व्यक्ति की है
जो एक फ्रीजर प्लांट में काम करता था ।
वह दिन का अंतिम समय था व् सभी घर जाने
को तैयार थे तभी प्लांट में एक
तकनीकी समस्या उत्पन्न
हो गयी और वह उसे दूर करने में जुट गया ।
जब तक वह कार्य पूरा करता तब तक अत्यधिक देर
हो गयी ।
दरवाजे सील हो चुके थे व्
लाईटें बुझा दी गईं ।
बिना हवा व् प्रकाश के
पूरी रात आइस प्लांट में फसें रहने
के कारण
उसकी बर्फीली कब्रगाह
बनना तय था ।
घण्टे बीत गए तभी उसने
किसी को दरवाजा खोलते पाया ।…
क्या यह इक चमत्कार था ?
सिक्यूरिटी गार्ड टोर्च लिए खड़ा था व् उसने उसे
बाहर निकलने में मदद की। वापस आते समय उस
व्यक्ति ने सेक्युर्टी गार्ड से पूछा “आपको कैसे
पता चला कि मै भीतर हूँ ?” गार्ड ने उत्तर दिया "
सर, इस प्लांट में 50 लोग कार्य करते हैँ पर सिर्फ एक आप हैँ
जो सुबह मुझे नमस्कार व् शाम को जाते समय फिर मिलेंगे कहते हैँ ।
आज सुबह आप ड्यूटी पर आये थे पर शाम
को आप बाहर नही गए । इससे मुझे शंका हुई और
मैं देखने चला आया ।
वह
व्यक्ति नही जानता था कि उसका किसी को छोटा सा सम्मान
देना कभी उसका जीवन बचाएगा ।
याद रखेँ, जब भी आप किसी से मिलते
हैं तो उसका गर्मजोश मुस्कुराहट के साथ सम्मान करें । हमें
नहीं पता पर हो सकता है कि ये आपके
जीवन में भी चमत्कार दिखा दे ।े
Hi barood bhai 
B@rood bhai kuch to post kro.
thoda gyaan idhar bhi do. 
@harmanrewari2008139 wrote:
B@rood bhai kuch to post kro.
thoda gyaan idhar bhi do.
Dear I am off Mumbai 4 vacations,
So no quotes possible.
Stay tuned.
बहुत समय पहले की बात है वृन्दावन में श्रीबांके
बिहारी जी के मंदिर में रोज पुजारी जी बड़े भाव से सेवा
करते थे। वे रोज बिहारी जी की आरती करते , भोग
लगाते और उन्हें शयन कराते और रोज चार लड्डू
भगवान के बिस्तर के पास रख देते थे। उनका यह भाव
था कि बिहारी जी को यदि रात में भूख लगेगी तो वे उठ
कर खा लेंगे। और जब वे सुबह मंदिर के पट खोलते थे
तो भगवान के बिस्तर पर प्रसाद बिखरा मिलता था।
इसी भाव से वे रोज ऐसा करते थे।
एक दिन बिहारी जी को शयन कराने के बाद वे चार
लड्डू रखना भूल गए। उन्होंने पट बंद किए और चले
गए। रात में करीब एक-दो बजे , जिस दुकान से वे बूंदी
के लड्डू आते थे , उन बाबा की दुकान खुली थी। वे घर
जाने ही वाले थे तभी एक छोटा सा बालक आया और
बोला बाबा मुझे बूंदी के लड्डू चाहिए।
बाबा ने कहा – लाला लड्डू तो सारे ख़त्म हो गए। अब
तो मैं दुकान बंद करने जा रहा हूँ। वह बोला आप अंदर
जाकर देखो आपके पास चार लड्डू रखे हैं। उसके हठ
करने पर बाबा ने अंदर जाकर देखा तो उन्हें चार लड्डू
मिल गए क्यों कि वे आज मंदिर नहीं गए थे। बाबा ने
कहा – पैसे दो।
बालक ने कहा – मेरे पास पैसे तो नहीं हैं और तुरंत
अपने हाथ से सोने का कंगन उतारा और बाबा को देने
लगे। तो बाबा ने कहा – लाला पैसे नहीं हैं तो रहने दो ,
कल अपने बाबा से कह देना , मैं उनसे ले लूँगा। पर वह
बालक नहीं माना और कंगन दुकान में फैंक कर भाग
गया। सुबह जब पुजारी जी ने पट खोला तो उन्होंने देखा
कि बिहारी जी के हाथ में कंगन नहीं है। यदि चोर भी
चुराता तो केवल कंगन ही क्यों चुराता। थोड़ी देर बाद
ये बात सारे मंदिर में फ़ैल गई।
जब उस दुकान वाले को पता चला तो उसे रात की बात
याद आई। उसने अपनी दुकान में कंगन ढूंढा और पुजारी
जी को दिखाया और सारी बात सुनाई। तब पुजारी जी
को याद आया कि रात में , मैं लड्डू रखना ही भूल गया
था। इसलिए बिहारी जी स्वयं लड्डू लेने गए थे।
🌿यदि भक्ति में भक्त कोई सेवा भूल भी जाता है तो
भगवान अपनी तरफ से पूरा कर लेते हैं।
शुभ-दिवस
राधे-राधे.
मांगी थी इक कली उतार कर हार दे दिया
चाही थी एक धुन अपना सितार दे दिया
झोली बहुत ही छोटी थी मेरी “कृष्णा”
तुमने तो कन्हैया हंस कर सारा संसार दे दिया
"""""""जय जय श्री राधे कृष्णा"""""☺😉
@B@R_0_0_D bhai ki post vd,hta dia vo tamatar maine
@B@R_0_0_D bhai ki post vd,hta dia vo tamatar maine
One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was really friendly.
So I asked, ‘Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!’
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call ‘The Law of the Garbage Truck.’
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they’ll dump it on you. Don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don’t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so….. ‘Love the people who treat you right. Forgive the ones who don’t.’Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
B@R_0_0_D wrote:One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport. We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches! The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean he was really friendly.
So I asked, ‘Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!’This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call ‘The Law of the Garbage Truck.’
He explained that many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they’ll dump it on you. Don’t take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. Don’t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.
The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day. Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so….. ‘Love the people who treat you right. Forgive the ones who don’t.’
Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!
Rightly Said….
कृपया कमज़ोर दिल वाले न पढ़ें।
यह एक सच्ची घटना है जो पिछले महीने नॉएडा एक्सप्रेस वे के पास घटी।
प्रदीप राठी नाम का युवक नॉएडा से आगरा अपनी कार से जा रहा था।
जब वह मथुरा के पास पहुँचा तभी अनहोनी घटी।
उसकी कार खराब हो गई और वहाँ दूर-दूर तक कोई नज़र भी नहीं आ रहा था।
वह किसी कार से पास के कस्बे तक लिफ्ट लेने की आशा में सड़क के किनारे-किनारे चलने लगा।
रात अँधेरी और तूफानी थी।
पानी झमाझम बरस रहा था।
जल्दी ही वह पूरी तरह भीग गया और काँपने लगा।
उसे कोई कार नहीं मिली और पानी इतनी तेज बरस रहा था कि कुछ मीटर दूर की चीजें भी नहीं दिखाई दे रही थीं।
तभी उसने एक कार को अपनी तरफ आते देखा जो उससे पास आकर धीरे हो गई।
लड़के ने आव देखा न ताव, झट से कार का पिछला दरवाजा खोला और अंदर कूद गया।
जब वह अपने मददगार को धन्यवाद देने के लिए आगे झुका तो उसके होश उड़ गए क्योंकि ड्राइवर की सीट खाली थी।
आगे की सीट खाली और इंजन की आवाज़ न होने के बावजूद भी कार सड़क पर चल रही थी।
लड़के ने तभी आगे सड़क पर एक मोड़ देखा। अपनी मौत नजदीक
देख वह लड़का जोर-जोर से भगवान को याद करने लगा।
तभी खिड़की से एक हाथ आया और उसने कार के स्टीयरिंग व्हील को मोड़ दिया। कार मोड़ से सकुशल आगे बढ़ गई।
लड़का बुरी तरह भयभीत हो कर देखता रहा कि कैसे हर मोड़ पर खिड़की से एक हाथ अंदर आता और स्टीयरिंग व्हील को मोड़ देता।
आखिरकार उस लड़के को कुछ दूरी पर रोशनी दिखाई दी।
लड़का झट से दरवाजा खोल कर नीचे कूदा और सरपट रोशनी की तरफ दौड़ा।
यह एक छोटा सा कस्बा था। वह सीधा एक ढाबे में रुका और पीने को पानी माँगा।
फिर वह बुरी तरह रोने लगा।
थोड़ी देर बाद सामान्य होने पर उसने अपनी भयानक कहानी सुनानी शुरु की।
ढाबे में सन्नाटा छा गया कि तभी………… ……
संता और बंता ढाबे में पहुँचे और संता लड़के की तरफ इशारा करके बंता से बोला कि अरे यही वह बेवकूफ लड़का है ना जो हमारी कार में कूदा था जब हम कार को धक्का लगा रहे थे।
This was written by Andy Rooney, a man who had the gift of saying so much with so few words…………..
I’ve learned …That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I’ve learned …. That when you’re in love, it shows.
I’ve learned …. That just one person saying to me, ’You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.
I’ve learned …. That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I’ve learned …. That being kind is more important than being right.
I’ve learned …. That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I’ve learned …. That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.
I’ve learned …. That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I’ve learned …. That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I’ve learned …. That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I’ve learned …. That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I’ve learned …. That we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
I’ve learned …. That money doesn’t buy class.
I’ve learned …. That it’s those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I’ve learned …. That under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I’ve learned …. That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I’ve learned …. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I’ve learned …. That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I’ve learned …. That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I’ve learned …. That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile..
I’ve learned …. That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I’ve learned … That life is tough, but I’m tougher.
I’ve learned …. That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I’ve learned …. That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I’ve learned …. That I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.
I’ve learned …. That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I’ve learned ….. That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I’ve learned ….. That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.
I’ve learned …. That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.
I’ve learned …. That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
😊🙏
Ladies and gentlemen, we will depart just as soon as our mechanic finishes taping our engine back together!
Whatever men are.. but women still somehow rule the roost bro
The Story of EYES!
Do you know the relation between two eyes…???
They never see each other… BUT
1. They blink together.
2. They move together.
3. They cry together.
4. They see together.
5. They sleep together.
They share a very deep bonded relationship…
However, when they see a pretty woman, one will blink and another will not…
Moral of the story: A pretty woman can break any relationship…
🌹महाभारत का युद्ध रोकने के अंतिम प्रयास हेतू स्वयं श्री कृष्ण
शांती प्रस्ताव लेकर ह्स्तीनापुर पहूँचे..कुटिल शकूनी ने कृष्ण को भोजन पर आमंत्रित करने की
योजना बनाई..
स्वयं दुर्योधन ने उनको निमंत्रण
दिया..कृष्ण तो फिर कृष्ण है..
निमंत्रण अस्वीकार कर दिया
और जा पहूँचे विदूर के घर..
विदुरानी कृष्ण पर अपार स्नेह रखती थी..अचानक कृष्ण को देख
भावुक हो गई.कृष्ण ने जब कहा क़ि
भूख लगी है तो तुरतं केले ले आई..और बेसुधी में गूदा तो फेक देती
और छिलका खिला देती.माधव भी
बिना कुछ कहे प्रेम से खाते रहे..
बात फैली..दुर्योधन जो कृष्ण से बैर भाव रखता था ताना मारके बोला..
केशव मैने तो छप्पन भोग बनवाये थे
पर आपको तो छिलके ही पंसद आये..
माधव मुस्करा के बोले कोई किसी के यहाँ सिर्फ तीन वजह से खाता है….
1.भाव में
2.अभाव में
3.प्रभाव में
भाव तुझमें है नहीं..अभाव मुझे है नहीं
और प्रभाव तेरा मै मानता नहीं.
अब तू ही बता कैसे तुम्हारा
निमंत्रण स्वीकार करता..
मैं वहीं गया जहाँ मुझे जाना चाहिये था.मै भोजन का नहीं भाव का भूखा हूँ
और हमेशा रहूँगा.दुर्योधन के पास
कोई जवाब ना था..
🌹 🌹
Why only Indians are Reborn (based on the Karma system)
Angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said:
‘I have to talk to you. We have some Indians here in Heaven and they are causing problems.They’re swinging on the pearly Gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Dolce & Gabbana saris instead of their white robes, they are driving Mercedes and BMW’s instead of the chariots, and they’re selling off their halos at discounted prices’’.
They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear or clean, since they keep crouching down midway eating samosas & drinking chai (tea). Some of them are even walking around with just one wing!
They do not believe in discipline and push their way through the line.’
The Lord said, ’Indians are Indians. Heaven is home to all my children.
If you want to know about real problems, give Satan a call.’
Gabriel calls Satan on the phone…
Satan answers the phone: ‘Hello? Damn, hold on a minute.’
Satan returns to the phone, ‘OK I’m back. What can I do for you?’
Gabriel: ‘I just wanted to know what kind of problems you’re having down there.’Satan says: ’Hold on again. I need to check on something.
‘After about 2 minutes, Satan returns to the phone andl says: ’I’m back. Now what was the question?’
Gabriel repeats the question: ‘What kind of problems are you having down there?’
Satan says: ‘Man I don’t believe this… Hold on.’ This time Satan was gone at least 5 minutes.
He returns and says: "I’m sorry Gabriel, I can’t talk right now. These Indians are trying to install air conditioning and are trying to make Hell a comfortable place to live in by putting out the fire, which is there to keep them uncomfortably hot !!
And since they are so tech savvy, they were trying to start a telephone & Internet connection between Heaven & Hell, between ME & GOD !!
They have started a social network service for the troubled, and believe in Karma, and are good in convincing others.
Some were trying to start a chai pakora, chole-batura, dosa & samosa, barfi, chakli and dhokla shop, which I had to stop.
Many have no trouble living in dirt as they are so used to it down on earth.
We have a shortage of toilets to make them uncomfortable, but they have no problems in doing everything outside in the open.
They are excellent in corrupting everyone, and my staff is being bribed by them.
I am having difficulty in controlling the graft and corruption in Hell.
They never complain as this place seems to be better than from where they came.
I am having such a hard time controlling and dealing with them.
I am therefore requesting, “O GOD, PLEASE send them back to earth as soon as they arrive – for re-birth.”
So now you know – “why Indians are the only ones that are re-born”.
Why only Indians are Reborn (based on the Karma system)
Angel Gabriel came to the Lord and said:
‘I have to talk to you. We have some Indians here in Heaven and they are causing problems.They’re swinging on the pearly Gates, my horn is missing, they are wearing Dolce & Gabbana saris instead of their white robes, they are driving Mercedes and BMW’s instead of the chariots, and they’re selling off their halos at discounted prices’’.
They refuse to keep the stairway to Heaven clear or clean, since they keep crouching down midway eating samosas & drinking chai (tea). Some of them are even walking around with just one wing!
They do not believe in discipline and push their way through the line.’
The Lord said, ’Indians are Indians. Heaven is home to all my children.
If you want to know about real problems, give Satan a call.’
Gabriel calls Satan on the phone…
Satan answers the phone: ‘Hello? Damn, hold on a minute.’
Satan returns to the phone, ‘OK I’m back. What can I do for you?’
Gabriel: ‘I just wanted to know what kind of problems you’re having down there.’Satan says: ’Hold on again. I need to check on something.
‘After about 2 minutes, Satan returns to the phone andl says: ’I’m back. Now what was the question?’
Gabriel repeats the question: ‘What kind of problems are you having down there?’
Satan says: ‘Man I don’t believe this… Hold on.’ This time Satan was gone at least 5 minutes.
He returns and says: "I’m sorry Gabriel, I can’t talk right now. These Indians are trying to install air conditioning and are trying to make Hell a comfortable place to live in by putting out the fire, which is there to keep them uncomfortably hot !!
And since they are so tech savvy, they were trying to start a telephone & Internet connection between Heaven & Hell, between ME & GOD !!
They have started a social network service for the troubled, and believe in Karma, and are good in convincing others.
Some were trying to start a chai pakora, chole-batura, dosa & samosa, barfi, chakli and dhokla shop, which I had to stop.
Many have no trouble living in dirt as they are so used to it down on earth.
We have a shortage of toilets to make them uncomfortable, but they have no problems in doing everything outside in the open.
They are excellent in corrupting everyone, and my staff is being bribed by them.
I am having difficulty in controlling the graft and corruption in Hell.
They never complain as this place seems to be better than from where they came.
I am having such a hard time controlling and dealing with them.
I am therefore requesting, “O GOD, PLEASE send them back to earth as soon as they arrive – for re-birth.”
So now you know – “why Indians are the only ones that are re-born”.
@Aarya
barood bhai aap mahan ho aapke charan kaha hai mujhe darshan karna hai… #hats_off_bhai
@ravitejaa425 wrote:
@B@R_0_0_D
Kya yaar.
Dont embarass me, embrace is OK.
“Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.”
^^ sounds offensive
but funny as heck 
NOT true though 