Want to Be Happier? Try These Small Changes

Is happiness something we are born with or something we need to chase after? Is it bestowed upon us or is it something we must deliberately pursue?

Chasing happiness is like chasing a rainbow. We’re never going to catch it. And waiting for it to fall into our lap is as effective as waiting for a miracle to happen. Especially if our genes are not on our side.

So where can we find happiness? The answer is nowhere. Happiness is not a destination to be found.

Lasting happiness is a conscious effort. A choice. A decision. It is something we create every day through each one of our actions.

What determines how happy we are?

Research studies have found there are three main factors that account for our happiness level:

1. Genetics

It’s true that for some people it’s just naturally easier to be happy than for others. Research shows that genetics account for 50% of our happiness. We are each born with a biological “happiness set point” that we can’t change.

But this is not destiny carved in stone. It is just a predisposition. Nothing more. It makes it a bit more challenging (if the wind didn’t blow in our favor), but not impossible.

Genetics do influence how happy we can be but do not determine how happy we become.

2. Life Circumstances

Our life circumstances influence our happiness only to a very small extent. Surprisingly, factors like marital status, income, and occupation represent only 10% of our happiness level.

We can assume that getting married or having more money will make us happier. Just like being victims of trauma would make us unhappier. Research has found though that is not completely true.

Good or bad events, even extreme ones (like winning the lottery or losing a loved one) do affect our well-being. But only temporarily. Once we get used to them (and we always do), our level of happiness returns to where it was before.

3. Intentional Activity

So where does the other 40% of our happiness come from? The activities we choose to engage in. This is the most promising way not only to boost our happiness but also to maintain it.

Our choices have the final say on our well-being. What we decide to do every day is what determines how happy we’ll be.

Isn’t that a great discovery! It means that happiness can be built through our efforts. That everyone has the opportunity to create a life full of joy and satisfaction. But also that happiness derives from a conscious and daily effort.

How can we create lasting happiness?

We can start by these 5 (scientifically proven) practices:

Engage in Positive Self-Reflection

It’s easy to get caught up in our flaws and forget all our virtues. Shame is like that. It quickly contaminates our self-image like a grey cloud over a clear blue sky.

But to be happy in life we first need to be happy with ourselves.

Appreciating all that’s good within us. Accepting all that is not. And loving ourselves regardless.

When we replay our highest moments the world around us just lights up. Instead of dwelling on our shortcomings, we need to celebrate our successes. Choosing to remember what’s worth remembering. And letting go of those not-so-proud moments.

Learning to laugh at ourselves also does wonders. It takes a heavy burden off our shoulders. And helps us see ourselves in a more positive way. When we start having fun with ourselves we start to see life through a different lens.

Avoid Social Comparisons

As social beings we tend to compare ourselves with others. And usually do it with people who we believe are better off than we are.

To be happy we need to realize that we are each unique in our own way. That we’re not better or worse than anybody else. That we are just different. And that nobody’s journey is comparable to ours.

We each have special gifts that nobody else has. We just need to know what they are.

Realizing that we’re extraordinary in our own way saves us from the “never enough” trap.

Because if we keep comparing our accomplishments with those of others, we’ll always end up yearning for more. And this insatiable longing to outshine the rest will deprive us of the peace and contentment our soul needs for true happiness and satisfaction.

Be Optimistic

Our thoughts and ways of viewing the world determine our level of well-being. It is not what happens to us but rather our interpretation of it what makes the difference.

If we see an event as a life-ending catastrophe we have no control over then it will be. But if we see it simply as another curveball life throws at us and consciously choose how to react to it, then it won’t threaten our whole existence.

Having faith and hoping for the best makes us happier. The easiest way to suffer is by worrying incessantly about everything that could go wrong.

It is when we’re lighthearted that happiness blooms.

We must carefully choose the way we think and what we focus on. By changing the attitudes of our mind we can change our well-being in a heartbeat.

Pursue Meaningful Goals

Happiness is not only about feeling positive emotions but also about experiencing a high satisfaction with our life. Pleasure and meaning are both necessary for lasting well-being.

To be happy we must learn to enjoy the moment but also to work towards goals we find intrinsically rewarding. Happiness must combine both present and future gain.

When we pursue important personal goals we give our life a purpose. We become happier emotionally and more satisfied with our lives.

It’s easy to get lost if we don’t know where we’re headed. Or to become frustrated if we know where we want to go but don’t do anything to actually get there.

Structuring our pathway to strive for our dreams gives us a sense of control and motivates us to lead a meaningful life to enjoy more long-lasting happiness.

Practice Gratitude

Taking the time to count our blessings is life awakening. It helps us realize how fortunate we are.

Sometimes we tend to focus so much on what we don’t have that we forget all that we do have. Even if we’re going through a bad situation, there is always something that we can be grateful for.

When we practice gratitude we appreciate our life more. We start to value all the little things that can give us more happiness than we give them credit for.

We savor the joyful moments. We find awe in everyday wonders. We begin to see the magic in what we usually perceive as ordinary.

It doesn’t mean we settle. Or that we stop fighting for more. It just means that we allow ourselves to be happy with what we have today while we continue to pursue that which will make us happier tomorrow.

At the end of the day, only you can determine what actions and attitudes will make you happier. You can find these through trial and error experiments or by asking yourself insightful questions.

What matters is that you realize that lasting happiness is possible. You just need to cultivate it. Every living day.

Happiness is not a destination, but a never-ending journey we must consciously choose to embark on.

Story

During a winter trip to New York last year we arrived at our hotel at around 1 am when my son Khalifa looked out at the lights of Times Square and said he wanted to go outside. I told him it was too late and that we would go tomorrow, but he kept looking out the window and said “Just for 2 minutes”.

My wife and I just looked at each other, smiled and said “2 minutes”. We got dressed in our big jackets and beanies and went to the center of Times Square. When we got there my son pointed at the lights and said "Baba look” then fell straight to sleep.

It took us 20 minutes to get ready for the 20 seconds our son took to see the lights of Times Square, but he was so happy and that is all that matter to us. That night I learnt an important lesson on creating happiness in life. It’s that we always have the ability to create special moments in our lives but we usually find an excuse to do something else.

There are so many examples, the spouse suggests a fun day, we say “it’s too hot”, the spouse suggests to drive to another city for a festival, we say “it’s too far”, the spouse tries to wake you up for a beautiful sunrise, we say “it’s too early”. Leading a life of happiness requires effort from you.

That night I learnt to stop being the biggest barrier to my own happiness. I now understood that although happiness is a door that is always open we are the ones who decide if we are going to step forward and walk through that door.

The reality is just like it took us 20 minutes to get ready so my son could look at the lights for 20 seconds, it’s going to feel that you are putting in more effort than what it’s worth. Is it really worth driving 3 hours for an event that is going to last an hour?

But think about everything in between, the fun drive with people you love and the memories you will create that will last a lifetime. You will then realize that it is worth it, you will then realize that in life those moments are what truly counts.

@srocks

@marketdimer

@Achilles

@hese

@sheetalvarunyadav2223

@sinha.vipul

@Smarty

@prinkle

@krishan42933

@BUTTERFLYBOY

@ankurjpr

@cancob

@Beinghuman

@@DarkFrost@@

@bookface

@dexter1989

@poorsoul

@mr.lonely

@stunn3r

@Secretagent

@SmallKing

@Ashwin

@gsh57

@mr.lonely

@poorsoul

A Few Useful Ramblings

Control of Fear: Fear is simply the mechanism of alertness. When fear takes over, every cell of the 10000 trillion cells of our body gets ready for team action. It is a positive mechanism. One need not be ashamed of it. In fact one needs to feel happy about it. What one needs to be wary of is, fear paralysis generated by negativism. Let me explain. Suppose, someone threatens to beat you. You automatically want to beat him back, giving ten kicks for every kick you receive. But to your dismay you find that your body is shivering and is asking you to run away. IT MEANS THAT YOUR BODY IS NOT OBEYING YOUR MIND.YOU HAVE NO SELF CONTROL. Devoid of direction from the mind, the cells are not coordinating and have become aimless. It is the result of chronic negativism and ingrained self disapproval. The simple fact is, self approval leads to approval by others. Self respect brings a general respect from everyone else. You cannot run away from your own body. So better make it obey you. FOR THAT THE BEST METHOD IS YOGA.Meditation, concentration and correct physical exercise constitute yoga. This must be based on thoughts of self approval.
You really do not feel fear when the thing you fear is actually happening. Fear paralysis or terror takes over only after the feared event. That terror is thought generated. When negativism dominates, your decision will be to escape from the repetition of the feared event. But if you are positive, you take it as a challenge and eagerly wait for its reoccurrence. YOU BECOME TERROR STRICKEN ONLY BECAUSE OF YOURSELF.TERROR IS YOUR OWN THOUGHT HABIT.OTHERS CAN NEVER CREATE TERROR IN YOU IF YOU REFUSE TO BE TERRORISED.IT SIMPLY IS YOUR THOUGHT HABIT.

Body Language:
Suppose you can see everything. Suppose your capacity to see is not restricted to the visible spectrum and you can see atoms, the sub atomic particles…everything! THEN WHEN YOU LOOK AT YOURSELF YOU FIND THAT BILLIONS OF ATOMS AND PARTICLES ARE MOVING OUT OF YOU AND BILLIONS OF ATOMS AND PARTICLES ARE ENTERING YOU.YOU SEE THE GIGANTIC INTERACTIONS.
YOU CANNOT SEE YOURSELF, AS YOU SEE YOURSELF NOW..
In fact when you can see everything, you cannot even conceptualize yourself. You become the Universe. Your own life is actually the Universe in action; you are that Big Bang or the Space-time continuum in action. Body language thus, is the outcome of your participation in the Universe as the Universe.
Now, when you stand by the side of a person, millions of atoms and particles go from you to that person and millions of atoms and particles enter you from that person. You are a flow of atoms and those atoms ultimately are atoms of thought. The spectrum of light or photons transform into a spectrum of thoughts or into a spectrum of consciousness. Your thoughts and general temperament radiate from you and you need not say a single word. This communication from and to you is what I call the body language. According to the EPR Paradox (Einstein-Podolsky and Rosen Paradox), when something happens to a particle, it effects every other particle instantly at a speed which is several times faster than light. This paradox of effects communicating at a speed faster than light is still to be solved by Physicists. BUT THAT IS BODY LANGUAGE.
That is the actual mode of communication for every one. Our bodies converse and communicate with each other continuously. You cannot tell lies with your body. But you cannot tell truth with words, even when you want to. In conversation you always censor, edit, suppress, and lie, consciously and unconsciously. You control your words.

@srocks @Gr@h@m@lkene™ @Green Arrow @cancob

@B@R_0_0_D wrote:



@srocks @Gr@h@m@lkene™ @Green Arrow @cancob

joke on age
The guys were on a bike tour. No one wanted to room with Kevin, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy slept with Kevin and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.

They said, “Man, what happened to you ?”
He said, “Kev snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night.”

The next night it was a different guy’s turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.

They said, “Man, what happened to you ? You look awful..!!”
He said, ’Man, that Kevin shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."

The third night was Bill’s turn. He was a tanned, older Biker, a man’s man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

“Good morning!” he said. They couldn’t believe it. They said, “Man, what happened ?” He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Kevin into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night on the lips…….

Kevin 😳😳 sat up and watched me all night..

With age comes wisdom…
😂😂😂

great

@Achilles

Procrastination-the chronic fear to face problems

Procrastination means the inability to do a thing and postponing it. It indicates the chronic fear to face a problem. When one is afraid, one automatically postpones. Postponement and self deception that the work will be done sometime after, but not at the moment, or by someone else, becomes hormonal—the automatic reflex. The work however small or trivial it may be, begins terrorising. And one becomes one’s own accuser and also excuse finder—-the Dr Jekyll continuously defending the Hyde, both painfully aware of each other. And Jekyll lives in frustration; Hyde with deception. Hyde creates the deception habit while Jekyll looks on sarcastically. But Hyde drags Jekyll everywhere.

The person always jumps with a promise, first to second any move, but only to automatically frustrate and actually obstruct the implementation. He obstructs everyone else, creating an atmosphere of failure and frustration. The social frustration which he creates becomes his alibi (our society is like this, what one person can do?).He piles up failures and also scholarship.
Unfortunately when he climbs up the social ladder by creating general dissatisfaction and a general sense of failure, he confronts the need to actually do work, something to which his hormones are not accustomed. He becomes the leader under seize. To appear to be doing something, he automatically attempts a big reorganization.

Work needs doers, not orators. Doers are always calm, they cannot postpone and concentration is their basic habit. They create the nation of doers and their work speaks for them.Now, what are we, a nation of doers or just orators? Orators need problems, frustrations—their bread and butter.

Courage simply means doing the work.Cowardize is the excuse habit and automatic postponement. Work and decision go together.Procrastination, indecision and cowardice go together. Ultimately the habit of procrastination leads to the habit of sabotage. The people live with problems, never attempt to face and solve them. They begin day dreaming for a deliverer—the dictator.

​
Are you usually punctual or late? Do you finish things within the time you stipulate? Do you hand in your reports/work on time? Are you able to accomplish what you want to do before deadlines? Are you a good time manager?

If your answer is “no” to any of the questions above, that means you’re not managing your time as well as you want. Here are 20 tips on how to be a better time manager:

#Create a daily plan. Plan your day before it unfolds. Do it in the morning or even better, the night before you sleep. The plan gives you a good overview of how the day will pan out. That way, you don’t get caught off guard. Your job for the day is to stick to the plan as best as possible.

#Peg a time limit to each task. Be clear that you need to finish X task by 10am, Y task by 3pm, and Z item by 5:30pm. This prevents your work from dragging on and eating into time reserved for other activities.

#Use a calendar. Having a calendar is the most fundamental step to managing your daily activities. If you use outlook or lotus notes, calendar come as part of your mailing software. Google Calendar is great – I use it. It’s even better if you can sync it to your mobile phone and other hardwares you use – that way, you can access your schedule no matter where you are.

#Use an organizer. The organizer helps you to be on top of everything in your life. It’s your central tool to organize information, to-do lists, projects, and other miscellaneous items.

#Know your deadlines. When do you need to finish your tasks? Mark the deadlines out clearly in your calendar and organizer so you know when you need to finish them.

#Learn to say “No”. Don’t take on more than you can handle. For the distractions that come in when you’re doing other things, give a firm no. Or defer it to a later period.

#Target to be early. When you target to be on time, you’ll either be on time or late. Most of the times you’ll be late. However, if you target to be early, you’ll most likely be on time. For appointments, strive to be early. For your deadlines, submit them earlier than required.

#Time box your activities. This means restricting your work to X amount of time. Read more about time boxing: #5 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity.

#Have a clock visibly placed before you. Sometimes we are so engrossed in our work that we lose track of time. Having a huge clock in front of you will keep you aware of the time at the moment.

#Set reminders 15 minutes before. Most calendars have a reminder function. If you’ve an important meeting to attend, set that alarm 15 minutes before.

#Focus. Are you multi-tasking so much that you’re just not getting anything done? If so, focus on just one key task at one time. Close off all the applications you aren’t using. Close off the tabs in your browser that are taking away your attention. Focus solely on what you’re doing. You’ll be more efficient that way.

#Block out distractions. What’s distracting you in your work? Instant messages? Phone ringing? Text messages popping in? I hardly ever use chat nowadays. The only times when I log on is when I’m not intending to do any work. Otherwise it gets very distracting. When I’m doing important work, I also switch off my phone. Calls during this time are recorded and I contact them afterward if it’s something important. This helps me concentrate better.

#Track your time spent. Egg Timer is a simple online countdown timer. You key in the amount of time you want it to track (example: “30 minutes”, “1 hour”) and it’ll count down in the background. When the time is up,the timer will beep. Great way to be aware of your time spent.

#Don’t fuss about unimportant details You’re never get everything done in exactly the way you want. Trying to do so is being ineffective. Read more: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.

#Prioritize. Since you can’t do everything, learn to prioritize the important and let go of the rest. Apply the 80/20 principle which is a key principle in prioritization. Read more about 80/20 in #6 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity.
Delegate. If there are things that can be better done by others or things that are not so important, consider delegating. This takes a load off and you can focus on the important tasks.

#Batch similar tasks together. For related work, batch them together. For example, my work can be categorized into these core groups: (1) writing (articles, my upcoming book) (2) coaching (3) workshop development (4) business development (5) administrative. I batch all the related tasks together so there’s synergy. If I need to make calls, I allocate a time slot to make all my calls. It really streamlines the process.

#Eliminate your time wasters. What takes your time away your work? Facebook? Twitter? Email checking? Stop checking them so often. One thing you can do is make it hard to check them – remove them from your browser quick links / bookmarks and stuff them in a hard to access bookmarks folder. Replace your browser bookmarks with important work-related sites. While you’ll still check FB/Twitter no doubt, you’ll find it’s a lower frequency than before.

#Cut off when you need to. #1 reason why things overrun is because you don’t cut off when you have to. Don’t be afraid to intercept in meetings or draw a line to cut-off. Otherwise, there’s never going to be an end and you’ll just eat into the time for later.

#Leave buffer time in-between. Don’t pack everything closely together. Leave a 5-10 minute buffer time in between each tasks. This helps you wrap up the previous task and start off on the next one.

1. Your shoes are the first thing people subconsciously notice about you.
Wear nice shoes.

2. If you sit for more than 11 hours a day,
there’s a 50% chance you’ll die within the next 3 years.

3. There are at least 6 people in the world who look exactly like you.
There’s a 9% chance that you’ll meet one of them in your lifetime.

4. Sleeping without a pillow reduces back pain and
keeps your spine stronger.

5. A person’s height is determined by their father,
and their weight is determined by their mother.

6. If a part of your body “falls asleep”,
You can almost always “wake it up” by shaking your head.

7. There are three things the human brain cannot resist noticing,
food, attractive people and danger.

8. Right-handed people tend to chew food on their right side

9. Putting dry tea bags in gym bags or smelly shoes will
absorb the unpleasant odor.

10. According to Albert Einstein,
if honey bees were to disappear from earth,
humans would be dead within 4 years .

11. There are so many kinds of apples, that if you ate a new one
everyday, it would take over 20 years to try them all.

12. You can survive without eating for weeks,
but you will only live 11 days without sleeping.

13. People who laugh a lot are healthier than those who don’t.

14. Laziness and inactivity kills just as many people as smoking.

15. A human brain has a capacity to store 5 times
as much information as Wikipedia.

16. Our brain uses the same amount of power as a 10-watt light bulb!!

17. Our body gives enough heat in 30 mins. to boil 1.5 liters of water!!

18. The Ovum egg is the largest cell and the sperm is the smallest cell !!

19. Stomach acid (conc. HCL) is strong enough to dissolve razor blades!!

20. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day while you walk,
SMILE. It is the ultimate antidepressant.

21. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

22. When you wake up in the morning,
pray to ask God’s guidance for your purpose, today.

23. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and
eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

24. Drink green tea and plenty of water.
Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.

25. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

26. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires,
issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control.
Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

27. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and
dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.

28. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

29. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
Forgive them for everything.

30. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

31. You don’t have to win every argument.
Agree to disagree.

32. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

33. Don’t compare your life to others.
You have no idea what their journey is all about.

34. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

35. Frame every so-called disaster with these words:
‘In five years, will this matter?’

36. Help the needy, Be generous! Be a ‘Giver’ not a ‘Taker’.

37. What other people think of you is none of your business.

38. Time heals everything.

39. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

40. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick.
Your friends will. Stay in touch.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42 Be thankful for what you’ve accomplished today.

A pound of butter

There was a farmer who sold a pound of butter to the baker.

One day the baker decided to weigh the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and he took the farmer to court.

The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure.

The judge asked, “Then how do you weigh the butter?”

The farmer replied “Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter.

What is the moral of the story?

“ We get back in life what we give to others”

​
A Crow was absolutely satisfied in life

But one day he saw a swan…
This swan is so white and I am so black…crow thought.

This swan must be the happiest bird in the world.

He expressed his thoughts to the swan.
“Actually,” the swan replied,

“I was feeling that I was the happiest bird around until I saw a parrot, which has two colors.
I now think the parrot is the happiest bird in creation.”

The crow then approached the parrot.
The parrot explained,
“I lived a very happy life—until I saw a peacock.
I have only two colors, but the peacock has multiple colors.”

The crow then visited a peacock in the zoo and saw that hundreds of people had gathered to see him.

After the people had left,
The crow approached the Peacock..

Dear Peacock,
You are so beautiful.
Every day thousands of people come to see you.
When people see me,
they immediately shoo me away.
I think you are the happiest bird on the planet.

The peacock replied,
I always thought that I was the most beautiful and happy bird on the planet.
But because of my beauty,
I am entrapped in this zoo.

I have examined the zoo very carefully, and I have realized that the crow is the only bird not kept in a cage.

So for past few days I have been thinking that if I were a crow,
I could happily roam everywhere.

That’s our problem too.

We make unnecessary comparison with others and become sad.

We don’t value what God has given us.
This all leads to the vicious cycle of unhappiness.

Value the things God has given us.

Learn the secret of being happy and discard the comparison which leads only to unhappiness..
-————

@Plato @Troll @devashi

@B@R_0_0_D Yes its true.
Dunia mein kitne gum h
Mere gum toh sbse kam h
(gum- sorrows)

@vishusgh @srocks