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Fellow dimers - need some life advice for a heartbroken friend

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Deal Cadet
mango-man

Asking for a friend who is nagging me everyday for some advice:


“I loved a girl dearly for more than 2 years. Her family was also keen to get us married, but they wanted us to get married right away. I, on the other hand, wanted to achieve some career goals before marriage (and she is still studying anyway), so I asked them to wait a couple more years. 


After sending 6-7 representations to my parents to fix the marriage, they decided to get her engaged to another guy for an arranged marriage. They held a grand engagement ceremony recently and even agreed to agreed to pay a hefty dowry (I wouldn’t have demanded any, obviously).

I never imagined they would do such a thing. This has shocked me and left me heartbroken.

The girl wouldn’t do anything against her parents’ wishes. The only (decent) options I have left are to either agree to the marriage and request them to call off the engagement (in the hope that they will agree to do so), or move on in life. But I feel calling off the engagement would be unjust to the groom and his family.

So should I just move on?"

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Deal Lieutenant Deal Lieutenant
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Ask him to move on

The proposal is flawed, nobody waits for years, usually the probability of them getting married decreases with each passing year.

Deal Lieutenant Deal Lieutenant
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MooooV on runner 



Entertainer Entertainer
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Does that girl loves him back dearly?

Critic Critic
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No parent would want their girl to wait for someone with completely uncertain future.

Deal Lieutenant Deal Lieutenant
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Move on.. Life is too beautiful to waste it over this

Deal Subedar Deal Subedar
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panchabhut wrote:

No parent would want their girl to wait for someone with completely uncertain future.

At the age of 25,26 no one will get crores package brother, even parents of that girl at 25yrs started at 15-20k (so thiking should change)

Deal Subedar Deal Subedar
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panchabhut wrote:

No parent would want their girl to wait for someone with completely uncertain future.

Uncertain future with loved ones better than… Uncertain future with a staranger

Critic Critic
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nandamuri.balakrishna wrote:

Uncertain future with loved ones better than… Uncertain future with a staranger

That is the thought process of young idealistic people. Not the way a parent will think. And for arranged marriage, the parents would have made sure that the groom has a good financial future.

It was still really progressive of the parents to offer marriage. But that offer was rejected by the guy. So now, there is no point of crying over lost options. 

Deal Major Deal Major
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nandamuri.balakrishna wrote:

Ramakrishna check comments

One thing I can say, what is destined to happen it will happen.

What have to come will come.

What have to go will go.

#vvpp

Deal Subedar Deal Subedar
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I_am_MrPerfect wrote:

One thing I can say, what is destined to happen it will happen.

What have to come will come.

What have to go will go.

#vvpp

These are my words grinning

Deal Subedar Deal Subedar
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panchabhut wrote:

That is the thought process of young idealistic people. Not the way a parent will think. And for arranged marriage, the parents would have made sure that the groom has a good financial future.

It was still really progressive of the parents to offer marriage. But that offer was rejected by the guy. So now, there is no point of crying over lost options. 

Agreed some points but still.. Money comes and goes.. Once a girl go.. She will never come back.. Even if u get range Rover or rr in future.. …

Deal Cadet Deal Cadet
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Tell your friend to (try to) move on.

Be humble, keep nothing against the girl, try to let this go.

I wasted good amount of time seeking answers to questions like “why me?”, “why only me?”, “why not those who are bad?” etc etc.

Try loving yourself and work on you. Time gone won’t come back and all the time he will waste in thinking around this will be of no value later.

Although, this is my suggestion, if things can work out between girl’s family, give it a try but seeing things moved on way ahead of I could think of, it’s better to let this one go.

Deal Subedar Deal Subedar
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Girl agreed for engagement with someone itself implies that she is ready to forget your friend and fly with anyone her parents choose.
Your friend is not on her priority list, She already took a decision. Moreover in a particular phase, Girls will stand by their choices at any circumstances. Though choices do change but it takes a lot of time for that.
Tell him no matter how hard he tries, it won’t work between them. Your friend is already out of her equation. Tell him to respect her choice & let her go.
Time will heal his pain. Till then he has to learn to live with pain.

Deal Subedar Deal Subedar
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This is simple. Your friend actually first rejected the girl. That is how she’s thinking. Imagine yourself in her shoes. The girl chose someone else. Good for her.

Now he’s sad that she moved on and nobody waited for him. I say kick him. 

Deal Captain Deal Captain
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This love and all is just bullshit. All matters is money in this World.

Deal Lieutenant Deal Lieutenant
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Cody wrote:

This love and all is just bullshit. All matters is money in this World.

I agree with you on certain things, this i don’t agree, both needed blush

Entertainer Entertainer
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Bhai mera 1 frnd ka 8 saal live-in mein rahne k baad ish saal ladki ka sadi kisi or se ho.gya family pressure mein, even poison wala drama v kaam nhi kiya family k aage expressionless

Deal Cadet Deal Cadet
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A girl only agrees to marriage when she get good (earning and decent looking) man.  Till then,  she keeps beating the bush around. 

So IMO, she has prepared mind to marry to new guy. Tell your friend to forget her.

Cool Cool
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Ask him to just think about himself only.

If he really loves, ask him to agree to the marriage and request them to call-off the engagement. Puchne mein kuch nahi jata. Atleast try to karo, baad mein aaisa nahi lagna chahiye ki try nahi kiya.

Else move onn and now work harder for your goals.

Deal Lieutenant Deal Lieutenant
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har saah nal yaad tainu karde rahe

koi sade vaang karuga ta pta laguga.

dil nal laare ni tu laan valiye

dil tera jadu tutuga ta pta laguga

someone translate this in hindi for op

Pro Shopping Friend Pro Shopping Friend
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He does not deserve her, he is more interested in career than her


Deal Subedar Deal Subedar
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Boy had his priorities n..
girl n her family had their priorities
So just move on…btw congrats to d groom who got hefty dowry/gift stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye

Deal Subedar Deal Subedar
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decideaim wrote:

I agree with you on certain things, this i don’t agree, both needed blush

cody abhi bacha hai i guess nhi samghega 

Lucknow Super Giants Lucknow Super Giants
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Ots14 wrote:

Bhai mera 1 frnd ka 8 saal live-in mein rahne k baad ish saal ladki ka sadi kisi or se ho.gya family pressure mein, even poison wala drama v kaam nhi kiya family k aage expressionless

Bhai 8 saal 😯
kaise?

Chennai Super Kings Chennai Super Kings
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Cody wrote:

This love and all is just bullshit. All matters is money in this World.

yup, tried two relationships and money matters in after an year😂 if you can’t afford tata byebye.

Deal Lieutenant Deal Lieutenant
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chota_chattri wrote:

yup, tried two relationships and money matters in after an year😂 if you can’t afford tata byebye.

So you didn’t find true love, except for idfc debit card ??

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