Fellow dimers - need some life advice for a heartbroken friend
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Asking for a friend who is nagging me everyday for some advice:
“I loved a girl dearly for more than 2 years. Her family was also keen to get us married, but they wanted us to get married right away. I, on the other hand, wanted to achieve some career goals before marriage (and she is still studying anyway), so I asked them to wait a couple more years.
After sending 6-7 representations to my parents to fix the marriage, they decided to get her engaged to another guy for an arranged marriage. They held a grand engagement ceremony recently and even agreed to agreed to pay a hefty dowry (I wouldn’t have demanded any, obviously).
I never imagined they would do such a thing. This has shocked me and left me heartbroken.
The girl wouldn’t do anything against her parents’ wishes. The only (decent) options I have left are to either agree to the marriage and request them to call off the engagement (in the hope that they will agree to do so), or move on in life. But I feel calling off the engagement would be unjust to the groom and his family.
So should I just move on?"
Op bro chill, right girl with come (don’t be option or choice to anyone) best girl awaiting move on
Terms like love, self awareness, maturity can have fluid interpretations AND ‘ranges’ within a subset or (is) circumstantial.
Howsoever ‘deeply’ (if at all) the love might be.. if the story/ partial details posted above are taken at face value…
…the person had allowed for the guardians, family to prevail.
Not just to get her betrothed, but apparently to also have ‘gifts’ given to her at the time of marriage.
(Or whatever pseudonym/ metaphor is used now-a-days for dowry from the lady’s side).
Have seen people (who are) really allergic to cat dander.. too become ‘deeply’ in love with cats .. sometimes.
Seemingly, the ‘deeply’ for him.. might not have been deeper than the ‘deeply’ (that she has) for her family.
Or the stigma/guilt trip of not bringing pain, stress upon her family.
No parent would want their girl to wait for someone with completely uncertain future.
At the age of 25,26 no one will get crores package brother, even parents of that girl at 25yrs started at 15-20k (so thiking should change)
Tell your friend to (try to) move on.
Be humble, keep nothing against the girl, try to let this go.
I wasted good amount of time seeking answers to questions like “why me?”, “why only me?”, “why not those who are bad?” etc etc.
Try loving yourself and work on you. Time gone won’t come back and all the time he will waste in thinking around this will be of no value later.
Although, this is my suggestion, if things can work out between girl’s family, give it a try but seeing things moved on way ahead of I could think of, it’s better to let this one go.
Girl agreed for engagement with someone itself implies that she is ready to forget your friend and fly with anyone her parents choose.
Your friend is not on her priority list, She already took a decision. Moreover in a particular phase, Girls will stand by their choices at any circumstances. Though choices do change but it takes a lot of time for that.
Tell him no matter how hard he tries, it won’t work between them. Your friend is already out of her equation. Tell him to respect her choice & let her go.
Time will heal his pain. Till then he has to learn to live with pain.
This is simple. Your friend actually first rejected the girl. That is how she’s thinking. Imagine yourself in her shoes. The girl chose someone else. Good for her.
Now he’s sad that she moved on and nobody waited for him. I say kick him.
Bhai mera 1 frnd ka 8 saal live-in mein rahne k baad ish saal ladki ka sadi kisi or se ho.gya family pressure mein, even poison wala drama v kaam nhi kiya family k aage 
Bhai 8 saal 😯
kaise?
A girl only agrees to marriage when she get good (earning and decent looking) man. Till then, she keeps beating the bush around.
So IMO, she has prepared mind to marry to new guy. Tell your friend to forget her.
Ask him to just think about himself only.
If he really loves, ask him to agree to the marriage and request them to call-off the engagement. Puchne mein kuch nahi jata. Atleast try to karo, baad mein aaisa nahi lagna chahiye ki try nahi kiya.
Else move onn and now work harder for your goals.
har saah nal yaad tainu karde rahe
koi sade vaang karuga ta pta laguga.
dil nal laare ni tu laan valiye
dil tera jadu tutuga ta pta laguga
someone translate this in hindi for op
He does not deserve her, he is more interested in career than her
Girl has already moved on, what is your friend holding to?
Usko ladki ke baap se proper closure chahiye 😂😂😂
Suddenly father-in-law lost interest in him 😁😁😁 Ladki ko toh shuru se hi padaai mein interest tha.
Aur OP ko bhi thread mein koi interest nahin hai 😀 Thread banaake Gaayab!
He should talk to the girl and ask her about her choice, if he is ready to get married to her.
Agree to this
I think on similar grounds
But ask him to think practically not emotionally
Even after marriage ur frd can earn money. No big deal
Is there any Caste issue?
@mango-man
It’s the society issue bro, if u r getting best deal y u will go for good/average deal.
Story is of yr frnd or yours in name of friend?
Jokes apart
One time make a firm decision that you can live without her or with her happily whole life..
If yes,you can forget her and move on..
If No, then Dilwale dulhania le jayenge..
Another ap dhillion fan in the making.
😂👌
I loved a girl dearly for more than 2 years. Her family was also keen to get us married, but they wanted us to get married right away. I, on the other hand, wanted to achieve some career goals before marriage (and she is still studying anyway), so I asked them to wait a couple more years.
The girl wouldn’t do anything against her parents’ wishes. The only (decent) options I have left are to either agree to the marriage and request them to call off the engagement (in the hope that they will agree to do so), or move on in life. But I feel calling off the engagement would be unjust to the groom and his family.
Its already too late. His intentions weren’t wrong ( Postponing the marriage to achieve much better financial stability or personal goals ) but these aren’t the things to be discussed/negotiated with the parents. The couple should’ve made a collective decision and conveyed the same to his/per parents but this doesn’t seem to have happened here. The girl is still studying, there’s is no harm in waiting for 2/3 years (She will still be <25 by then?) but he should’ve seriously considered this before proposing the delay
The girl wouldn’t do anything against her parents’ wishes.
He can blame himself for the wrong moves and ruin his future career plan or move on (understanding that the girl’s attachment with her parents is much more stronger than with him)
Your friend chosed career before her, he should have agreed to marry her as her parents agreed to get her daughter married with him, study can be continued even after marriage. One should keep in mind that loving is totally different thing when it comes to take decision on marriage, it’s responsibility of her parents to get her daughter married on time and a good financial future according to thier status.
Rescue a dog from the street and within two months you’d know what real love is. And then you’d know whether you really loved the other person and whether the other person loved you. A dog’s love for you is an extremely good benchmark for human love, of course, your mother loves (or loved) you way more but not in such a obviously manifested way.
this ❤️
If he call you next time…
pahale to ache se Galli Dena….tell him career important Hai na so why cribbing now…chup chap career per dhyan de…4-5 saal baad koi doosri dekh le na…agar na mile to arrange marriage Karwa dege…
😇
If u have career has a priority, you would have given a thought before loving a girl. Calling off engagement is not a solution, if it is, what about the guy then who’s engaged wid her? As you wished, you have an option to focus on carrer, work and enjy the life, takes time but need to be hard 
I guess, the OP did not post the entire story. There could be an hidden matter which forced the parents of the girl to go for early marriage.
The worst part is, the girl getting engaged, which is similar to selective prostitution.
Love failures are common now a days. Best thing and best medicine is to get hold of another girl or prostitutes to over come it.
Always follow below when in love:
Book a hotel room and spend time >> This will make the Love stronger. If not, treat this as friends with benefits no strings attached and move on.
🙈 
when the story could make space here means, there is noone who could suggest what is good to him?
If he has, and not listening to them, why would he listen to unknown dimers?
If he is not able to come out and you are his dearest friend
1. Make sure he is surrounded by good company
2. Take him to counseling
3. Change of place and time will heal things
edit:
having said all why did i give suggestion as it is free and my itching to give free suggestions
This should be followed for moving on
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Ask him to move on
The proposal is flawed, nobody waits for years, usually the probability of them getting married decreases with each passing year.