Help! monkey menace
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For the past 6 months, large groups of monkeys would come and destroy everything (my little home garden is gone for good) and even bite people!
But now they’re attacking even my dish tv’s umbrella! I had to call 5 times to get the service guy to put it in proper direction in the span of 8 months.
My free 1 year service is going to expire in March and after that I would have to pay Rs 150 per visit!
Please suggest any measures to save my umbrella from monkeys 😭
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Serious question, can something like that be purchase? will it affect tv signal?
Feed them something daily at particular time in the morning from whatever is leftover food. Don’t be scared while feeding them but maintain safe distance. Let them recognize you & your home as feeding zone. At evening/night, don’t let them stay over around your home. Beam multiple flashlights at their eyes. Practise this for few days & tell me if this worked for you or not.
The lady in a nearby flat came up with that plan and within a week, got a piece of flesh torn from her arm and got plenty of rabies shots.
I do leave leftovers for stray cats/dogs and birds but monkeys are the worst, they poop around the whole house!
Today morning.. in the first month of Assamese calendar, I had to go around clearing monkey poops… so much for Magh bihu celebration
They have super powers. They have managed to climb over every type of barricaded fench. Plus, there are a lot of big trees so they can climb over by jumping from tree to tree ☹
Municipality and zoo staff were called repeatedly but they never come 😑
what to do bro.. this is hard truth…
Humans are occupying their homes (forest) in the name of development and they are occupying ours… Even I had faced this issue..I am seeing in every village that I visit.
I heard from my village that village people brought some one (don’t have clear info on this) to catch them and take away.. Now a days I hardly see one or two…in my village.
Hi. Please stick a photo of Sri Ram on the DTH umbrella. .. instead of breaking it they ll protect it.
@hana25 one thing which my granny always told me is that don’t feed monkey and keep the bins secured.
In Mumbai – Monkeys are seen In Thakur Village Kandivali east area on terraces and some even enter the house through window grills
2 years back, a monkey entered through the ventilation and bite a newborn baby’s head off who was sleeping securely inside a mosquito net.
Close windows and ventilations too when they come.
Buy a Air gun and shoot some , it will not harm them buy it will protect you and your garden 
I had same issue because I have most of fruit trees , so many fruits got damaged then I had bought Air gun and controlled it , now no issues 
where can I get one? honestly i don’t know what this air gun is but sounds useful as it won’t kill them and i won’t go to jail.
Burst crackers when they come, especially Lakshmi bomb and lassi bomb
but those are not available now, only appear in Diwali month + i adopted 2 pets they get terribly scared and starts hyperventilating when crackers are burst 
You can build another ramsetu with help of monkeys.
There is a difference between VANAR and a MONKEY .
Please don’t make idiotic comments .
I have diwali crackers to scare monkeys but they are so clever that they run on other side of the building and after sometime again come.
Literally so much trouble they create.. destroyed garden , eaten up rose flowers , dis- aligned dish ( but after watching engineer aligning so much times now i do myself )
Keep patthar danda at home. U can make airgun from YouTube ,
101% working solution – monkeys are scared of langur , so here we give 100rs per month to langur guy and whenever he comes with his langur on his cycle , monkeys run like they saw ghosts 😂😂 so fast and far away
Don’t know about the langur thing.
But yes that danda thing works.
I already suggested before, to keep a long cane and give them a good bashing.
Within days problem will subsidise and also the monkeys will run away from the basher ( same as when they see langur as per you .)
Use Jio TV in mobile and scarp Ur dish
Use mini rocket gun on monkeys. It is available in cracker shop. Fire it on monkey
People that don’t accept the truth don’t want their illusions destroyed
I found this on YouTube
buy some crackers and keep
burst when u spot them
they will soon stop coming
put one soft tiger toy on terrace..
You know naa it’s winter time, monkeys will not spare it. They will involve it in all of their parkour activities. From Soft Tiger, it will become Tiger Shroft. Jumping Japaang..
OP, you should help them with something like this… 
.
https://m.banggood.in/Ultrasonic-Solar-Battery-...
Use something like this.
Put poisoned food daily on terrace….
Mad monkeys spotted 
Hit them with rotten eggs
[Reply to @magur
@saucap Feeding monkeys in isolated areas/designated areas away from residential areas is ok but doing so in residential areas is a menace. You can do your animal charity with responsibility instead of harassing others with bringing more monkey menace.
There are recorded tragedies in many India cities of them maiming women and children and killing babies. My own late cat's first batch of kittens was stolen and eaten by some monkeys after they got bored with them.
This is why many countries have strict rules and punishment for those who feed stray and wild animals in residential areas]
Agreed with your logic. But.. in reality,
Monkeys do not live in any jungle anymore as there are no jungles with fruits and vegetables hanging freely to feed them. So they have been living inside human residential areas only - depending on our garbage like vegetarian scavengers and any of our offerings. For feeding themselves they have to snatch things from people coming from market. If I feed them something, I feel, that they will not feel hostile towards me, & this also has been my experience so far. So it's kind of bribe. Monkeys attack when they feel too hungry or scared.
Pssss.. Cheat code - When feeding monkeys make sure you first check how many monkeys are there in total at that time and make sure you quickly throw one small portion of offering to every one in different direction from far so that each can grab one bite. Today morning itself, I was chased by a monkey, because my Chana stock offering was already over when it arrived. But I was ready with my stick and chased it back to the top of second terrace. Even sang, aaaa aaaa aaaa aa kabhi Khushi kabhi Gam jingle to remind him that there's always a tomorrow.
I have seen many monkeys dying with my own eyes owing to electric shock, or a car ran over them while they were crossing road, so for the record, we humans have unknowingly killed more monkeys than otherwise. Knowingly we cannot kill because we know there are hostile people ready to take our life in the name of religion. BTW to any of those fake fanatics lurking out here, monkeys have no relation with Lord Hanumanji (Shankar suvan 🙏🏻) coz monkeys are known to be extremely greedy, lusty & hungry so anyone patting himself that Tuesday or Saturday ko Lord Hanumanji prassann hue kyunki humne boondi khilaa diya Bandaron ko, toh aisa nahin hota hai. It's just gives one good feeling to feed animals. It's also a dope of one kind.
Also, good part is monkeys are mostly vegetarian, they don't eat non-veg otherwise we would be running away from them always. Raw eggs they eat very happily but not boiled eggs or omelette. So I dont believe they would have ate your kittens. I have seen a few monkeys eat locusts & grasshoppers but not other non- veg.
Get a small enclosure made out of iron grill