how to make friends?

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Last Comment 2022-12-13

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thisaccounti...

2022-11-26

As the title says, I am lone wolf sort of person who don't like to engage with crowd but sometimes feel like I should have 2 or maybe 3 friends in life hence thinking of making few (LOL, I know it sound weird xD) anyone can suggest me how do I make friends around me?

Worst part I am working from home so don't go out much & I hardly speak with our neighbours once in a six months yeah I speak less too

@guest_999 @getready @MrKool_JJ @bikidas2060 @tappukepapa @kukdookoo @dark.demon @Rosh_0007 @Vrushali.S @hana25

I tagged two admins too this time xD cause I have seen them making long long post maybe they love to help me xD

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https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8907577

getready

2022-11-26

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Found a fix for "Expectations followed by Anxiety" part? If not, postpone this program of making friends, you're better off being alone

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8907850

thisaccountisdeleted

2022-11-26

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No not found the fix yet bro pensive

Still dealing with anxiety ( at it's peak this week) I feel the same and I think you are right I think I am better be off alone, as I fail to deal with humans after a month or two of talking with them pensive

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8907629

tappukepapa

2022-11-26

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I'm also like you, main toh neighbours ko jaanta bhi nahi. 😊 I spend most of my time in office and on Desidime. Weekend par bhi alone, but it's better to be alone than with some stupid and selfish people.

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8907865

thisaccountisdeleted

2022-11-26

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+1, +2, +3,....+999

Same here, in current place I don't talk with any neighbour while at second place I don't even know the name of our neighbours joy

They just see me coming & going & wondering what does he do all day long especially on weekends joy

Sometimes I feel like they want to talk with me but then I run away at speed of sonic as soon as some human comes nearby me joy

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https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8907744

10ven

2022-11-26

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The reason I end up spending time in front of various screens.

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8907893

thisaccountisdeleted

2022-11-26

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Means? Does it mean you don't make friends either and spending time on internet? If that's true then exactly that's how I live my life too but then weekends happens and I get confused what to do on weekends no_mouth

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https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8907776

kukdookoo

2022-11-26

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Go on a solo trip to dubai or russia, serious suggestion. No one will judge you there

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8907899

thisaccountisdeleted

2022-11-26

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Bhai ye karne k liye bhi toh dost banane padhenge trip k contribution k liye joy

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https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8907862

Simbha3

2022-11-26

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join competitive exam coaching centre

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8907908

thisaccountisdeleted

2022-11-26

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Aisa kyu

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https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8907867

demerius2020

2022-11-26

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By making money

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8908013

Tejaa

2022-11-26

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Go on solo budget trips within India, and stay in modern/happening hostels. You can work from there also.

One example: https://www.booking.com/hotel/in/the-lost-hoste...

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8908092

thisaccountisdeleted

2022-11-26

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Damn, this is something new I am learning here. I didnt know something like this exist maybe I am living under rock these days. I think I should try this out in December, this weekend is already done. Looks budget friendly too & worth too ❤️ Thanks for the suggestion bro will surely check this out in 1st or 2nd week of December 🥰

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https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8908155

Simbha3

2022-11-26

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After certain age I feel like you won't make new friends. All my friends are from school and college only. made few friends from workplace but we most talk about work only. Most are busy with their life or GF or wife and their kids. As parenting is a new chapter of life. So i will say you are not missing much.

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8908216

thisaccountisdeleted

2022-11-26

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I agree with you bro to be more precise I think 21 - 26 is the age where we are mostly lonely at this some age some are very serious about their life while some do timepass then after 26 family start our marriage planning once marriage done new chapter starts and we get busy with it once that done hardly anything like friendship is left by then mostly our neighbours become friend, relatives of both side husband / wife become our close people and we get busy with them and work and life keeps moving on at greater speed.

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8908164

Kim_Jong_jun

2022-11-26

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Same with me as well Planning to go for a trip on Christmas or new year But no friends to go along 😢

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8908175

Simbha3

2022-11-26

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Take @PlaYITsmooTH with you.

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https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8908180

UniqueDimer

2022-11-26

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I can read these in your post
"...I don't go out much & hardly speak with our neighbours once in a six months yeah I speak less too".
And then, in one of your comments
"...Sometimes I feel like they want to talk with me but then I run away at speed of sonic as soon as some human comes nearby me".

After reading the above lines, I just want to ask
"bhai, friends bana ke kya karoge? Jab baat hi nahi karte, to kya ankhiyan milaane-churaane ke liye banaoge friends?"

Ye gaana suno or samjho

Cc. @tappukepapa

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8908199

thisaccountisdeleted

2022-11-26

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Hehe, I don't know how to express this feeling in words hence I got confused & wrote like that joy

Neighbours are elders in age bro hence don't know how to speak with them & how to speak with daughter in front of them joy

So I run from there.

I was thinking of making friends of my age, hence asked how to make friends xD

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https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8908243

kukdookoo

2022-11-26

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Op you have called urself lone wolfs few times here. Just remember wolfs hunt in packs, not lone wolfs.

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8908340

Tony007

2022-11-26

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you both have friends in dd

@PlaYITsmooTH @tappukepapa

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8919783

thisaccountisdeleted

2022-11-28

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Thank you @Tony007 🙂 Yeah we all are 🙂

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https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8908539

hana25

2022-11-26

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You tagged me so I came but I'm an introvert too. I had one best friend since school life but after she got married her husband forbid her to talk to "outsiders" and we lost contact.

And my online addiction started lol

But honestly, after watching news, savdhan india, crime patrol... I'm scared to make friends. Nowadays, one needs a strong luck to meet genuinely good people.

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8919788

thisaccountisdeleted

2022-11-28

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I understand @Hana25 by the way I am introvert too to precise INFJ. It hurts to be seperated from best friend but then I think it's better to accept that for the good of our friend and move on. My online addiction started when Covid happened and I lost my job I had one female colleague with whom I used to travel back and forth to work and used to share plenty of things with each other but then covid happened (never ever had any social media app with me except Twitter that too for complaints even that time) so never managed to get back to her and lost the contact & online addiction started xD You touched that point xD Pretty much same has happened not only that Crime Patrol thing but for me majorly cause of news, my family used to watch a lot of news during covid days & I managed to catch all the negative things from it & feels bit scary about everything which have directly or indirectly been in news or related shows like Crime Patrol. Sometimes it feels like Covid did more mental pain

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avulasuryeswar436

2022-11-26

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hello guys iam new to desidime

i have a doubt

whatever iam posting is not showing in homepageof desidime may i know what is the reason

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8909896

Sidhu634

2022-11-26

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Home page is default set at HOT DEALS so your posted deal will be visible under New Deals Section until it gets some hotness/likes.

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8908882

formosa1

2022-11-26

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Gaining trust, having common interests and... well.. desis love to host others for food or to feed others.

so that should work.

Creating opportunities to socialise helps too.

Despite work and work from self premises... nature walks, treks... or tea/coffee/ art appreciation parties or book reading clubs or outdoor sports (even something like artificial rock climbing) or performing arts classes or attending events where performing arts are the event (like large philharmonic orchestra/ choirs, theatre plays, dance or music events)..
... are just some of the places one gets to meet people and if you want.. then interact with them.

In my days in big bad metros.
To avoid the stress at home (if with family) or to avoid walking into an empty home..

often.. after office... I would just walk up to NCPA/ Tata theatre or Jehangir Art gallery. NCPA often had western classical music (orchestra, opera) and other events too.
After initial hesitation as to 'i look awkwardly out of place here'... i simply just started going more.
Eventually realised.. ONLY i am watching myself. Nobody is even aware of or bothered about my existence or looking at me.
I am/ was getting conscious about myself.

Even the bawa log (Parsi people) , senior citizen aunties with real pearls around their necks and stepping out of Kompressor or S-class type vehicles too.. spoke very normally and intermingled with humility, grace even when introduced to younger people or people from more humble backgrounds.

Ditto at Jehangir Art gallery.
Kuch samjh nahin aaye tab bhi curator se ja kar.. small talk kar li.. ya small talk with others.. by approaching from our own side.

Both at NCPA and at Prithwi theatre (Janki Kutir estate, Juhu, Bombay).. actually got to do courtesy greeting or small talk with Nadira Babbar ji (she helped the Ekjute theatre group), Ruhi (one of her daughters), Sunita Rao (Pari huN main.. song singer), Shabana Azmi's mother.. I literally held her hand when she had to step up on the way into Prithwi (Shabana Azmi came soon after, someone was talking to her).. in the age when touch screen phones had just started.. Shabana ji's mom still held a really old phone.

Naseeruddin Shah, Ratna Pathak Shah, Dalip Tahul I had had an opportunity to see.. even prior to coming to Bombay.. for a production of 'Waiting for Godot'.

Got abruptly meet or see Amrish Puri ji perform, Lillete Dubey, many others in plays.
Indian classical music events too.
Thereafter making few long term acquaintances got easier.

Point here is.. not about bragging.
But going outside comfort zone (within limits).
I am not into wine and women.. else clubbing is a good way to bump into people or go outside one's comfort zone.

(if one is into drinking beer and just chilling) Old English/ Scottish pubs were other places where few ex-colleagues used to go.
Not dance pubs.. but pubs as seen in old western movies..
.
I mean heck... I went even for the second ever show of the Indian franchisee of 'the Vagina monologues'which Mahabanoo Mody-Kotwal had the franchisee for..
In Bombay, in those days.. no major stage was offering them space.. so they had the first 5-6 shows out of some (multiplex) movie hall... converted to have live performance..
.
Then few years later.. I also went for the first ever show of Alyque Padamsee's "P dialogues"..
.
Point is... do something that puts you outside your routine, mundane cocooned life..
(I mean.. you need not go to the extent of Pratima Gauri, Milind Soman.. but then again.. whatever floats your boat)..

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8908979

Vrushali.S

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2022-11-26

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Thanks for tagging me here. I like having conversations on topics like these

I relate to you on this..here are some of the things that I personally have found useful to make friends:
1. Don't worry about making friends. Life is long and the universe has a way to make people meet you who are meant to
2. Pick up a hobby and try to join communities around that (classes, online communities, forums, social media pages)
3. Start posting online You do not have to be a "professional content creator" Post whatever your heart says, be it your cat pictures, photographs of the best places you have visited, a new dish that you have prepared, a new software you are working on, anything that says something about you.

I personally used to run an art page on Instagram and through that, I got to meet some really good people that I may not have met otherwise. (of course, one needs to be cautious but that's for another talk)
4. Just try to be a better human, don't mind helping people out. Whether it's checking on that colleague of yours who has not been in the office for the last 1 week or an old lady on the street.. Trust me, you may not earn many friends but you would earn something called "purpose" "hope" "happiness" and if you get lucky, you may even make some friends:)

Lastly, I would just say, be patient with yourself and until you make some good friends, be one to yourself smile )
I hope this helps in some way✨

One last point I forgot to add: Please be open to talking to people (Don't have to go out of your way. Just be open to it). Give them a chance and give yourself a chance too to speak to them.☘⭐

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8920128

thisaccountisdeleted

2022-11-28

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Thanks for writing back in detailed @Vrushali.S

I agree with everything you said above, I never tried something like this before (I mean like literally trying to find a friend to hang out around). The thought just struck in my mind on weekend & felt we are moving at too much pace in our life and need to slow down a bit & try to make friend along with it instead of just keep moving ahead.

Since, I didn't had much experience I wrote out here maybe to find steps how to fetch friend xD

I have couple of hobbies & joined their respective communities on Reddit & other forums but most of time I run out of time and later it feels like I left out from everyone, that confuses / freezes me more sad

Or maybe, I am just being too much negative after the Covid era.

Sorry for writing long, it still feels like I felt short of words xD Once again thanks for writing back to me briefly.

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gametron

2022-11-26

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better u find out how to be happy with own self

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8909168

bikidas2060

2022-11-26

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Sorry

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8909175

formosa1

2022-11-26

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I too am sorry bro🙇🏻‍♂️🥺🤍

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8909170

bikidas2060

2022-11-26

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@formosa1

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8910267

guest_999

2022-11-26

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Check PM.

@PlaYITsmooTH

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8910736

some1anywhere

2022-11-26

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Make online friends WITH COMMON INTERESTS and meet them IRL. 😂

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8924372

Dealerbhai

2022-11-29

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Thank god i am not alone in this. grin

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8931257

sab_nehru_ki_galti_hai

2022-11-30

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https://desidime.com/forums/dost-and-dimes/topics/ted-how-to-make-a-conversation-with-anyone-malavika-varadan

https://www.desidime.com/discussions/how-to-make-friends?page=1#post_8967275

MrKool_JJ

2022-12-13

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@PlaYITsmooTH - Really very sorry i know i am very late to reply here but was caught with many other stuffs.

I would only tell you to start mingling with folks/interact with them/know them - might be their job, their life, their problems (but don't compare them with yours). Start with your colleagues in your own locality and you're office folks to build that confidence.
If you'll have this attitude i am sorry to say people will only use you for their OWN BENEFIT like your female/male friends did sad

Everyone says YOLO (YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE) but i always have the opposite thing in mind YODO (YOU ONLY DIE ONCE).

Will surely catch up with you someday @ BBQ i suppose toungueout
We shall definitely be having some meet up soon in Mumbai with all our fellow dimers as well till then consider each and every dimer you're friend in your life. Peace out. Sorry once again bro.

Nowadays responding to all notifications on time is getting tough for me sad (I had your tag in my MIND though DD flushed it from my log so commented on it right away)

@Guest_999 - You to had tagged me somewhere and i couldn't even open that and was missed from my end. If you retag me there once again i will view that and respond ASAP. Please accept my sincere apologies 😔