Hotness Jiyo life full (Funny Ideas/view point)

Hot Deal Jiyo life full (Funny Ideas/view point)

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Manmohan singh subzi lene gaye…

Subziwale se puchha: Bhindi ka bhaav kya hai..??

Subziwala: Ab rulayega kya pagle….?

Muft me lejaa..

Pehli baar aawaaz suni hai teri..

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Are You Addicted?
6 Simple Signs that Say, ‘I am Addicted.’

Sandra Lenington

Listed below “the six sure signs of addiction” are the “official” diagnosis criteria for addiction that appear in the DSM.

I Love playing with words and letters, so I like to call them the six C’s:

The signs are the same whether it is food, drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex or ________!

1. Craving: Craving is an intense desire for a specific substance or behaviour. There can be the sense that I NEED this specific food, or this specific drug in order to make my life manageable or to make me feel better. Examples could be a cigarette, cocaine, pot, gambling, chocolate, sex, or shopping. “I just need a drink to take the edge off,” might be one example of the thinking that accompanies craving.

2. Compulsion: Compulsion is a mental obsession. A compulsion manifests when my thinking about an activity or substance occupies more and more of the day. I can recognize a compulsion by the amount of time I spend planning when, how, where and with whom I can get my next fix. In the end, the habit takes over more and more of my thinking and my life. I arrange all of my activities around the substance or the behaviour.

3. Control: Controlling the amount of the substance or behaviour becomes more and more difficult. It requires more and more of the substance or behaviour to give me the same “high” or relief. When I start drinking or eating sugar, for example, I cannot know when I will stop. I may eat a whole box of cookies or I may drink vodka until I pass out.

4. Continuing to use: I continue to use the substance or the behaviour in spite of worsening consequences. For example, I may have a report I need to give at school or a presentation at work for an important client. In spite of the importance and my desire to do well, I show up drunk and barely able to stand up (or, pass out during the event. In the realm of food, I continue to eat sugar and overeat in spite of the consequences of increased weight, diabetes or joint pain.

5. Concealing: One of the most common signs of addiction is the need to hide the amount I am consuming of the substance or hiding the fact that I am engaged in the activity. For example, I find it necessary to hide the amount of food I am eating, or I have a secret stash of food, or alcohol hidden in the garage. I also may find it necessary to lie about my whereabouts if a sexual encounter is involved. Many alcoholics hide their liquor in coffee cups or vodka in their water bottles.

6. Contempt: There’s a sense of shame involved with addiction the cycle goes like this: I swear I’m not going to use/drink/overeat today. Things are going well. Pretty soon I get overwhelmed at work or a relationship is bothering me or thought and I began to crave the drink/drug/food. At some point I give in. I can’t control when I stopped or when I will quit. When I wake up the next morning I say, ‘Oh my gosh! What is wrong with me? I did it again!’

Now that I have shared my 6 sure signs, here is the official diagnosis of abuse and addiction:

According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, substance use is considered abusive or addictive if the person has experienced three or more of the following signs during a 12-month period:

1. Tolerance is evident when (i) a need exists for increased amounts of a substance to achieve intoxication or desired effects or (ii) the effect of a substance is diminished with continued use of the same amount of the substance.

2. Withdrawal is evident when (i) characteristic, uncomfortable symptoms occur with abstinence from the particular substance or (ii) taking the same (or closely related) substance relieves or avoids the withdrawal symptoms.

3. The substance is used in greater quantities or for longer periods than intended.

4. The person has a persistent desire to cut down on use of the substance, or the person’s efforts to cut down on use of the substance have failed.

5. Considerable time and effort are spent obtaining or using the substance or recovering from its effects.

6. Important social, employment, and recreational activities are given up or reduced because of an intense preoccupation with substance use.

7. Substance use is continued even though some other persistent physical or psychological problem is likely to have been caused or worsened by the substance (for example, an ulcer made worse by alcohol consumption or emphysema caused by smoking).

Drug abuse can occur with or without tolerance or withdrawal.

Tolerance and withdrawal indicate physical dependence.

A key issue in evaluating addiction is if a person is unable to stop using the harmful substance (loss of control).

Often people who are addicted to a drug do not have insight into their inability to stop drug use and falsely believe they could stop if they ‘wanted to.’ This is called denial.

No single event or criterion is indicative of an addictive disorder; drug use becomes addiction (drug abuse) only after a pattern of behaviour that takes place over time.

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Wen I got enuf confidence,
the stage was gone..

Wen I was sure of losing,
I won..

Wen I needed people the most,
they left me..

Wen I learnt to dry my tears,
I found a shoulder to cry on..

Wen I mastered the skill of hating,
Someone started loving me wid the core of Their heart..
&

While waiting 4 light for hours wen I fell asleep
d sun came out.
.
.
.
That’s LIFE!
No matter what u plan u nvr know what life has planned for u.

LOVE IT !

LIVE IT !

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Bawas can and will always laugh at themselves !
After the British colonies, it is the Parsi colonies that are left behind, on which the sun never sets!

Because at 2 am old ladies are chasing stray dogs with sticks

At 3 am somebody’s TV is loud enough to keep the watchmen awake,

At 4 am the granny has woken up to pee, and flushes loud enough for all neighbourhood to announce where she was,

At 5 am the doodhwala comes from ‘Parsi dairy farm’,

At 6 am somebody takes 46 kicks to start his ‘vaahloo’ scooter,

At 7 am the 3rd floor neighbour goes “pichhe ka side ko barabar se dhona, main roj dekhta hoon, tum aisa hi kapda mar ke nikal jata hai” ….to the ‘gari dhowa-walo’,

At 8 am you hear a frantic mother shouting “mehernosh tu bhona no dabbo bhuligayo” running in a nightie down the ‘main street’ of the “baug”,

At 9 am someone starts playing ‘chhaiye hame zartosti’ at top volume,

At 10 am the ladies are clapping from balconies to call the ‘taja pamplet kolmi walo’,

At 11 am the jobless, wifeless, TV less and hopeless ‘haandas’ of the colony come down with m-c/b-c gaars, calling each other by their ‘pet names’, such as “eh legaa, eh chaddi, eh pittal’ to play cricket or volleyball

At 12 noon they break a glass of somebody’s window,

At 1 pm the fight is still on,

At 2 pm the fight ends when the aromas from other people’s kitchens reminds them that stomach is mightier than the gaar

At 3 pm the school kids are returning in a shrill argument over what happened in class,

At 4 pm the old men’s club come down for a walk and ask the silly obvious questions like ‘bajaar laine aavi?’ ‘Office thi aavi?’, ‘college thi aavi?’ to all the women of the colony returning from anywhere,

At 5 pm the old women’s parade starts, where the aunties want to walk, but the gangubais escorting them want to sit,

At 6 pm after finishing their homework, the ‘chillar’ comes down to play (that’s what they used to call kids below 12 when we used to go down,

At 7 pm the hero of the Parsi colony ‘the pavwala’ arrives with ‘karak and naram’ options for all the ladies,

At 8 pm some aspiring young stunt-bawa is practicing stunts with his bike and melodramatic teenage girls squealing ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ louder than required,

At 9 pm you can hear people of all age groups saying ‘bye’ to each other which lasts for an entire hour,

At 10 pm someone gets enough bones only for 1 stray dog, so the other dogs create a havoc,

At 11 pm someone’s grandfather clock gongs out loud eleven times and by the time it stops you have missed hearing the last part of your favourite TV serial,

At 12 midnight the watchman has to show he is working, and so goes banging the stick to wake you up from your deep slumber,

At 1 am some guys play loud music in a car, but this time the guy on the 2nd floor wakes up, fights with the youngsters and threatens to call the police, and you end up peeping from the window to see the commotion, when finally the commotion ends, the old lady who is hard of hearing thinks it is the stray dogs barking again and

At 2 am comes out with a stick to chase them…

See…..

The sun never sets on the Parsi Colony Empires!!!

Long live our PARSI Colonies!

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If My Body Were a Car !

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.
I’ve got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull…
But that’s not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus, And it’s especially hard to see things up close.
My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.
My white walls are stained with varicose veins.
It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns inefficiently.
https://cdn2.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_smile.gif

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The loving husband

A man had two of the best tickets for the FA Cup Final.

As he sits down, another man comes along and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

“No”, he says, “the seat is empty.”

“This is incredible!” said the man.

“Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the FA Cup Final, the biggest sporting event of the year, and not use it?”

He says, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away.
This is the first Cup Final we haven’t been to together since we got married.”

“Oh… I’m sorry to hear that.

That’s terrible.

I guess you couldn’t find someone else, a friend or relative or even a neighbour to take the seat?"

The man shakes his head….

“No. They’re all at the funeral.”

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