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Grant me a sense of humor, Lord,
The saving grace to see a joke,
To win some happiness from life,
And pass it on to other folk.
Humor is the best gift of all to give.

-Author unknown

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Sailor And Priest

The sailor and a priest were playing golf. The sailor was not very good at it, and uttered a loud
“F***! I missed!” each time he missed. The priest tolerated him for a few minutes and couldn’t
take it anymore. “Do not swear thus, my friend, or God will punish you!” It didn’t make a
difference, the sailor continued unabated. One after another, the sailor played badly, and
followed up with “F***! I missed!” Again, the priest said “Do not utter such profanities, or God
will show you a sign!” It didn’t help, and the next stroke missed was followed by a loud “F***! I
missed!” Just then, a bolt of lightning dropped out of the sky and struck the priest dead. A
voice was heard in the clouds…….“F***! I missed!”

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Sardarji : I forgot to bring the scooter key from my home.

Friend : Is it! then, how did you come to office from home in the morning?

Sardarji : I was pushing my scooter from home to office also in the morning.

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A Sardar went to a bank to open a S.B. A/C.
After seeing the form he had gone to Delhi for filling it up.

You know why?

Form said: “Fill Up In Capital”.:lol:

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On a romantic date sardar’s girl friend asks him:
“Darling ! On our engagement will you give me a ring?”

He said: “Sure ! What’s your phone number?”;-}

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Law of cigarette smoking:
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Smoke always goes
in the direction of non-smokers .

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Yesterday i named my Wifi ” hack if you can ”
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Today when i woke up it was changed to
“challenge accepted”

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What do you call a drink that makes a woman shout?
NARI-YELL pani

How do you ask your MASI to take a dip in a river?
DiploMASI

And what do you call a fat girl waiting at the bus stop?
MOTIvating

How do you say in one word “She’s calling a cab”?
WOH-CAB-ulary

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FOR THE KIND ATTENTION OF WIVES

The Fifa World Cup is close by.
Let me give u a few rules that will
preserve your beauty and the peace of the world.

1. The remote control belongs to
me for the whole month.

2. Tell all your friends not to give
birth or wed or die or wateva
during the World Cup coz we
won’t go.

3. You support the teams that i
support.

4. No talking during the game,
wait for half-time or end of the
game.

5. Repeats & highlights are as
good as the main match, so am
gonna watch them..

6. We can watch STAR PLUS
provided actors and actresses Are
wearing soccer jerseys and they are in
brazil.

7. U dont just pass infront of the
tv if am watching soccer, u better
crawl on the floor.

8. Make sure you don’t ask silly questions such as; is this Chelsea versus England?

9. No funny faces to my friends
when they come for soccer.

10. Smile everytime EXCEPT when
my team is losing

11.There shall be no comments about Cristiano Ronaldo’s looks. Professionalism shall remain an absolute part of the WC.

12.If you miss the line up please dont ask, ‘who is that guy?’

13. Ronaldo the Brazilian and Ronaldo the Portuguese are not related, Tanzania and Kenya did not qualify.

Thank you,
GENTLEMEN’S ASSOCIATION.

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Marriage is a relationship in which 1 person is always right and the other is always husband

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or i can say
Wife and husband always compromise, husband admits that he’s wrong and wife too agrees with him.

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Master to servant: “What will you do with a 100 Rs. lying on the floor? Will you keep it?”
Servant: “No , Of course not.”
Master: Then what will you do with it?
Servant: “I will spend it.”

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Once Laloo was coming out of airport.
As there was huge rush the security guard told Laloo “WAIT SIR“…
For which Laloo replied “65Kgs” and moved on…

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Once a young mas was asked in an interview “Did you ever meet any Railway accident?

The man replied: “Yes, once the train was going through a long tunnel I havekissed the father instead of his daughter.”

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The Perfect Son. 
A: I have the perfect son. 
B: Does he smoke? 
A: No, he doesn’t. 
B: Does he drink whiskey? 
A: No, he doesn’t. 
B: Does he ever come home late? 
A: No, he doesn’t. 
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he? 
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

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A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? 
B: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter. 
A: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father. 
B: I’m not. I’m her mother.

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Patient: Doctor! You’ve got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.

Doctor: Next please! 

Missing