https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8262409
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Remain as a spectator and let your dad do the talking!
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My brother in 12th is a typical Spoiled boy
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he thinks money grows on trees
he is in 12th , commerce stream still gives no f to studies.. 2 months left for exam.. Yesterday 1hr i explained him how he can do all he wants after entering into a good college..
Today i caught him connecting laptop with tv and playing GTA.. On scolding him he laughs and says that i said him to not play pubg.. Not any other game
He thinks money grows on trees and he can enter a good college by donation… No we are not a financially stable family..still he thinks that way coz dad fulfills all his demands.. What to do? He is a below average performer and takes interest in all bogus activities other than studies!!
please dimers please suggest how to tackle this spoiled kid!!!
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https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8262427
Very few people changes by lectures, most of them wont. But every one changes at one point. Just its matter of time, once they have any hard experience, from there onwards you can see the Change in him. Doesnt matter how much we lecture, they won’t change. Never scold, he may start loosing respect towards elders. Say politely and leave he will realize one day. I’m sharing from my own experience :/
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8262445
good point. But in my case i only explain so that i can save him from getting in trouble as I know if I could have taken some more care in my studies I could have been in a better position financially and socially. As an elder brother I just aim to save him from getting into trouble because of his acts in this boards situation. The one day when he understands will be too late maybe for him to actually rebound to a good situation.
i am just concerned and try to save him from the experiences of myself during my teenage times..
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https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8262492
Give him some Electric Shock ⚡⚡.
Also check his fuse,is it ok or not.😂😂.His relay might be faulty.😁😁
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8262690
While I don’t agree with your approach of not allowing him to play any game at all, i also don’t agree with him playing all day. It is always good to have a balance. Too much study just makes one feel bored and not to mention that if results are not good, they simply get demotivated thinking after so much hard work also they got nothing. Leisure is an important think in life and it’s okay to spend as one likes. For the other point, A lot of people do not understand the value of money until they have to do it themselves. He’s still young and doesn’t understand that. Once he gets to understand how hard it is to earn money, he’ll become a bit more cautious. Explaining him will not work because people tend to think of it as lecture. Instead of saying him not to play at all, motivate him to spend as much time studying as he spends playing game. Do not compare him with others and spend some time with him while he studies to help him.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8262716
dimers, clarification it was not a lecture that i gave.. It was interactive discussion where I put my point to how to be on safe side first and then explore gaming as a profession/digital professions as he selected commerce coz he thought it was easy and now he is doing all stuff mostly other than learning his course material.. I also do not deny the fact that some chilling out is required but I disagree to just chill out all the time other than attending a 2 hr tuition and 1 hr class.. Which means he is spending 20+ hrs a day sleeping and playing games and doing other things
while I know that he will understand value of money and study but at every point he spends like anything and never understands the things one has to undergo in order to earn it. I want him to spend in limit if not wisely as I know it wil come with time and experience but spending lavishly thinking someone will give him right after he has spent is something concerning for such a kid.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8262762
It’s good that you show interest in taking care of him. Most elder brothers ignore taking care of their younger ones, but not everyone knows that the strong pillar will burden the entire house if there is any weak piller. His any wrong will damage the reputation of your family and yours.
The first thing to do is change his friend circle and school if necessary. Failing in commerce school is acceptable and quite common to average houses. If you are good at studies, then spend some time with him for a few weeks, give him a company to study. I know it’s pretty much asking for working professionals, but in the long term, you’ll end up paying a good share of your income towards your home and him directly or indirectly. Tell your mother to waive softness on him; your brother is still not on the wrong track when all his peers are busy making reels.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8262772
i want to but he gets irritated and dismisses the idea to study.. My father is educated my mother too but he won’t even take interest to ask/ listen to parents or me to help him study..
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https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8262834
Let him enjoy his age of innocence.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263139
i want to let him enjoy but after getting into a above average college otherwise his life will ne ruined unless some miracle happens
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263313
i beat him occassionaly but that doesn’t help😞
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https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263116
Dad is into service or business….. Looks like to me dad is in business…..
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263133
service
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263279
I like what @Fanil wrote above.
also @Justforduping
coz dad fulfills all his demands
This has to stop, should have stopped long back I guess. Demands should be met only when something is/was achieved. Nothing should be easily available, even if the parent is a high earner, there should be need of things which are not necessities. Talk with dad, since he has given things easily, he should make your brother understand that it will stop if this continues.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263308
This is the main concern… Kid will concentrate and focus on important and will value studies and important things in life. But as I am emotional he is also emotional as my brother is a loving child as I am.. And my brother is 100x clever(chatra in hindi) than i am.. His emotional acts and clever tactics he always convinces dad about what he wants. He has bought iphone 11 2 months back by convincing dad.. I guess he would have enjoyed this luxury after getting into college if he was as smart as he is clever!!
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263428
Can you teach him for few months at least ,I mean in such a way ,that studying feels interesting. It may help ,at leas,t his interest in studies will increase.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263572
the fact is you cannot do anything to change his behaviour and if you try to hard you two will be fighting like cats n dogs so better let him do whatever he is doing & learn from his mistake … you concentrate on your life 👍
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263578
Leave about studies. Unless he gets interest & motivation to understand the concepts by himself, he won’t study. Don’t waste your energy by giving him pep talks.
1st thing to do is to show him and make him understand how difficult it is for a middle class family to survive and how hard your father is working, to feed him and his desires.. Involve him in all financial matters. Tell your parents that he is no longer a school kid and to stop giving him everything for nothing.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263718
Stop caring for him. The more hard you will try, the more he will not listen to you. Let face him 1-2 failures in life. Be a mute spectator and focus more on your’s life, not him.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263719
the one that I have observed with my cousin brothers is that even after giving direction, they did not listen to it just bcoz doing that thing required putting effort from them and they just chose the easy way out to quit after giving it a try for a few months as they thought that papa has enough money and they do not need to do such things.
Been a few years since this and now they regret quitting as the time has passed and now they understand the family situation and time is money but time has already passed but they try to be slightly better now.
Personally also, what I can say is that we learn more by self-experience rather than others’ experience, that’s the weirdest human nature which I wanted to disagree to but now made peace with it.
(in hindi: kisi ko kitna bhi samjhao ki aage pathtar hai aur dekh k chale, nai toh girega aur chot lagegi, wo aadmi tabhi dhyan dena seekhta hai jab wo khud girta hai)
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263728
Chill just 1 month before boards we gamers go into overdrive and surprise everyone esp mummy 😀
Btw if you had invested in 2020 you would have found that money actually grows on trees 😙
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263737
I would suggest ur parents to buy an apartment or property and divert the additional funds to repay these home loans..so that your brother knows what’s happening with the funds in the house..
Even ur dad can give a befitting reply to ur bro when he asks for unwanted things..
’Can’t u see I’m repaying the loans?’
Not exactly like this..but something on these lines should be done..
Ur brother will get to know importance of studies in life at some point of time..
But when is the question..
The sooner the better..
Losing all the available time and crying after the damage is done will not bring back what he’s lost.
PS: my sincere advice/suggestions to the parents with small kids in the family..
Never buy what’s unnecessary to the kids.. and don’t spend out of limits..
And to People who say I can’t see my child cry…
Let them cry for twice or thrice.. then thry will be in the correct path..
Else you would be the ones who would be crying later..
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263738
For parents with adolescent children.. involve them in your family’s financial discussion..
Let them know what u r doing
and how u r managing the expenses..
This will make the kids realise the financial situation..
THUMB RULE: Raise the kids in a middle class style..no matter how rich u are
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263758
i will suggest a way which you can try out to make him get into the right path.
Hurt his ego,ask commerce related qns of his age group test him fool his ego with the swagger that learning this things i had an upper hand at college and people used to get impressed of me awww etc wagera.
Getting a great college gave me oppurtunity to enjoy more at that age and etc just few things to make the masala.
But the goal should be to hurt his ego keeping in mind the nature of the person and probably he”s not going to take the comment in wrong way.
For example :- Lets say hes from commerce stream and has said i want to join some top commerce college. Challenge his ego ye toh tere bas ki nhi hei tu itna hee karsakta hei agar usmei laasakta h toh mei maanu.if the guy has that never die attitude and ego he will definitely think about it , repeat it smartly make his ego hurt so that he tries for it. Keep in mind that dont over do that it becomes a casual for him ,also ensure that hes capable to listen the things you plan to say . If hes someone quite emotional and very touchy kind of guy then fool him by making him dream like college mei jaayega top ke ,parents will be proud your career will be set you would get hefty paycheck beautiful girl etc.
Try out such things keeping in mind what could work best , i would still recommend if you fear that it could put you in somerisk then take your decision/plan cautiosly and wisely with someone strong minded in the family mutually aware of it.
Note:- I am just recommending some ways this could be harmful aswell so i dont hold any responsibility of such things its just tips i thought could help someone.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263773
Studying all day is a bogus thing itself. You must have remained a studious in your life, so you have come to the idea that studying is great and everything else is bogus activity. Also, your definition of spoiled is simply wrong. If you lot are not a financially stable family then how the dad is keeping up with the kid’s demand I wonder!
Anyhow, not much to add other than what’s already said. Until he himself realises that studying is a necessity and that he needs to get into a good college to have a good career later, you really cannot do much. Just say to him that he’s a moron who doesn’t understand life and ask him to ask his friends whether what he’s doing is right or wrong. The realisation must come from a circle which he considers friendly and not adverse like when you keep lecturing him.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263778
please read the discussion and then comment.. Don’t speak nonsense before understanding the context.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8263781
what he likes ? find it or make his interest in one good thing and then u have to put efforts to show him excellent results , once he take the winning joy in good work, he will definitely change 🥳🥳
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/my-brother-in-12th-is-a-typical-spoiled-boy?page=1#post_8266189
He needs some motivation to study, his inner self has no interest because of online lectures where there is no peer learning, generally students studious baccho ko dekh ke khud bhi thoda mehnat karte hai
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