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My brother in 12th is a typical Spoiled boy

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Deal Cadet
FreakingAwesome

he thinks money grows on trees

he is in 12th , commerce stream still gives no f to studies.. 2 months left for exam.. Yesterday 1hr i explained him how he can do all he wants after entering into a good college.. 

Today i caught him connecting laptop with tv and playing GTA.. On scolding him he laughs and says that i said him to not play pubg.. Not any other game

He thinks money grows on trees and he can enter a good college by donation… No we are not a financially stable family..still he thinks that way coz dad fulfills all his demands.. What to do?  He is a below average performer and takes interest in all bogus activities other than studies!! 

please dimers please suggest how to tackle this spoiled kid!!! 


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36 Dimers
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Mobile Guru Mobile Guru
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Remain as a spectator and let your dad do the talking!

Deal Cadet Deal Cadet
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Very few people changes by lectures, most of them wont. But every one changes at one point. Just its matter of time, once they have any hard experience, from there onwards you can see the Change in him. Doesnt matter how much we lecture, they won’t change. Never scold, he may start loosing respect towards elders. Say politely and leave he will realize one day. I’m sharing from my own experience :/

Deal Cadet Deal Cadet
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beamchota wrote:

Very few people changes by lectures, most of them wont. But every one changes at one point. Just its matter of time, once they have any hard experience, from there onwards you can see the Change in him. Doesnt matter how much we lecture, they won’t change. Never scold, he may start loosing respect towards elders. Say politely and leave he will realize one day. I’m sharing from my own experience :/

good point. But in my case i only explain so that i can save him from getting in trouble as I know if I could have taken some more care in my studies I could have been in a better position financially and socially. As an elder brother I just aim to save him from getting into trouble because of his acts in this boards situation. The one day when he understands will be too late maybe for him to actually rebound to a good situation. 

i am just concerned and try to save him from the experiences of myself during my teenage times.. 

Deal Cadet Deal Cadet
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FreakingAwesome wrote:

good point. But in my case i only explain so that i can save him from getting in trouble as I know if I could have taken some more care in my studies I could have been in a better position financially and socially. As an elder brother I just aim to save him from getting into trouble because of his acts in this boards situation. The one day when he understands will be too late maybe for him to actually rebound to a good situation. 

i am just concerned and try to save him from the experiences of myself during my teenage times.. 

Yes, but children’s don’t listen. Saying is our duty, but forcing leads to pyschic behaviour once he grow up. If he is Chain smoker, drinks alot, having multiple gf’s, thats a worry thing. If not, all other things are reversible, chill!!

Deal Cadet Deal Cadet
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Give him some Electric Shock ⚡⚡.

Also check his fuse,is it ok or not.😂😂.His relay might be faulty.😁😁

Entertainer Entertainer
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Let him enjoy his age of innocence.

Pro Shopping Friend Pro Shopping Friend
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beamchota wrote:

Very few people changes by lectures, most of them wont. But every one changes at one point. Just its matter of time, once they have any hard experience, from there onwards you can see the Change in him. Doesnt matter how much we lecture, they won’t change. Never scold, he may start loosing respect towards elders. Say politely and leave he will realize one day. I’m sharing from my own experience :/

Went thru all this, they never change
They listen to utterly selfish misguiding friends/relatives but not own family
when there is need for money then jump/cry do all sorts of emotional dramas and typical Indian parents finally give in

Chennai Super Kings Chennai Super Kings
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beamchota wrote:

Very few people changes by lectures, most of them wont. But every one changes at one point. Just its matter of time, once they have any hard experience, from there onwards you can see the Change in him. Doesnt matter how much we lecture, they won’t change. Never scold, he may start loosing respect towards elders. Say politely and leave he will realize one day. I’m sharing from my own experience :/

Same Happened With Me 

Hotshot Hotshot
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While I don’t agree with your approach of not allowing him to play any game at all, i also don’t agree with him playing all day. It is always good to have a balance. Too much study just makes one feel bored and not to mention that if results are not good, they simply get demotivated thinking after so much hard work also they got nothing. Leisure is an important think in life and it’s okay to spend as one likes. For the other point, A lot of people do not understand the value of money until they have to do it themselves. He’s still young and doesn’t understand that. Once he gets to understand how hard it is to earn money, he’ll become a bit more cautious. Explaining him will not work because people tend to think of it as lecture. Instead of saying him not to play at all, motivate him to spend as much time studying as he spends playing game. Do not compare him with others and spend some time with him while he studies to help him.

Deal Cadet Deal Cadet
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dimers, clarification it was not a lecture that i gave.. It was interactive discussion where I put my point to how to be on safe side first and then explore gaming as a profession/digital professions as he selected commerce coz he thought it was easy and now he is doing all stuff mostly other than learning his course material.. I also do not deny the fact that some chilling out is required but I disagree to just chill out all the time other than attending a 2 hr tuition and 1 hr class.. Which means he is spending 20+ hrs a day sleeping and playing games and doing other things

while I know that he will understand value of money and study but at every point he spends like anything and never understands the things one has to undergo in order to earn it. I want him to spend in limit if not wisely as I know it wil come with time and experience but spending lavishly thinking someone will give him right after he has spent is something concerning for such a kid. 

Chennai Super Kings Chennai Super Kings
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😄Everyone here is like your brother, hence they are here…  

Deal Cadet Deal Cadet
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It’s good that you show interest in taking care of him. Most elder brothers ignore taking care of their younger ones, but not everyone knows that the strong pillar will burden the entire house if there is any weak piller. His any wrong will damage the reputation of your family and yours. 

The first thing to do is change his friend circle and school if necessary. Failing in commerce school is acceptable and quite common to average houses. If you are good at studies, then spend some time with him for a few weeks, give him a company to study. I know it’s pretty much asking for working professionals, but in the long term, you’ll end up paying a good share of your income towards your home and him directly or indirectly. Tell your mother to waive softness on him; your brother is still not on the wrong track when all his peers are busy making reels.

Deal Cadet Deal Cadet
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TempAcc wrote:

It’s good that you show interest in taking care of him. Most elder brothers ignore taking care of their younger ones, but not everyone knows that the strong pillar will burden the entire house if there is any weak piller. His any wrong will damage the reputation of your family and yours. 

The first thing to do is change his friend circle and school if necessary. Failing in commerce school is acceptable and quite common to average houses. If you are good at studies, then spend some time with him for a few weeks, give him a company to study. I know it’s pretty much asking for working professionals, but in the long term, you’ll end up paying a good share of your income towards your home and him directly or indirectly. Tell your mother to waive softness on him; your brother is still not on the wrong track when all his peers are busy making reels.

i want to but he gets irritated and dismisses the idea to study.. My father is educated my mother too but he won’t even take interest to ask/ listen to parents or me to help him study.. 

Hunk Hunk
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FreakingAwesome wrote:

i want to but he gets irritated and dismisses the idea to study.. My father is educated my mother too but he won’t even take interest to ask/ listen to parents or me to help him study.. 

Do the best for yourself. Work hard. 🙂See, five fingers in our hands are not same. Everyone has inclination towards different things in life. It is one’s individual choice. Outsiders can’t force em. Sooner or later time will teach everyone of one’s place and worth. I know it sounds ridiculous. But the best method is to set an example for your brother. Ask your parents for intervention.

Deal Subedar Deal Subedar
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de kutai de kutai….😅😄

Deal Subedar Deal Subedar
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Dad is into service or business….. Looks like to me dad is in business…..

Deal Cadet Deal Cadet
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myfungang829 wrote:

Dad is into service or business….. Looks like to me dad is in business…..

service

Deal Cadet Deal Cadet
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Raja_Hindustani22 wrote:

Let him enjoy his age of innocence.

    i want to let him enjoy but after getting into a above average college otherwise his life will ne ruined unless some miracle happens

    Deal Subedar Deal Subedar
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    I like what @Fanil wrote above.

    also @Justforduping

    coz dad fulfills all his demands

    This has to stop, should have stopped long back I guess. Demands should be met only when something is/was achieved. Nothing should be easily available, even if the parent is a high earner, there should be need of things which are not necessities. Talk with dad, since he has given things easily, he should make your brother understand that it will stop if this continues.

    Deal Cadet Deal Cadet
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    Seinfeld wrote:

    I like what @Fanil wrote above.

    also @Justforduping

    coz dad fulfills all his demands

    This has to stop, should have stopped long back I guess. Demands should be met only when something is/was achieved. Nothing should be easily available, even if the parent is a high earner, there should be need of things which are not necessities. Talk with dad, since he has given things easily, he should make your brother understand that it will stop if this continues.

    This is the main concern… Kid will concentrate and focus on important and will value studies and important things in life. But as I am emotional he is also emotional as my brother is a loving child as I am.. And my brother is 100x clever(chatra in hindi) than i am.. His emotional acts and clever tactics he always convinces dad about what he wants. He has bought iphone 11 2 months back by convincing dad.. I guess he would have enjoyed this luxury after getting into college if he was as smart as he is clever!! 

    Deal Cadet Deal Cadet
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    vipin13 wrote:

    de kutai de kutai….😅😄

    i beat him occassionaly but that doesn’t help😞

    Rajasthan Royals Rajasthan Royals
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    vipin13 wrote:

    de kutai de kutai….😅😄

    Bhai Ko Khub Experience H…Kutai Ka😂

    Deal Subedar Deal Subedar
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    Spanjaykumar wrote:

    Bhai Ko Khub Experience H…Kutai Ka😂

    bap and ma ne ajj tk mara nii 😜

    Deal Subedar Deal Subedar
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    FreakingAwesome wrote:

    i beat him occassionaly but that doesn’t help😞

    usko direction de deo life me Krna hya hai….work me intrest ayega to man lgega study me may be use direction nii Krna kya hai life me i am against violence bus bhai ko ladki and nasha and chori jaise Adto se dur rkhan ….uski koi skill ya jisme intrest ho inhance krao 😇 meditation 

    Deal Cadet Deal Cadet
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    Can you teach him for few months at least ,I mean in such a way ,that studying feels interesting. It may help ,at leas,t his interest in studies will increase. 

    Rajasthan Royals Rajasthan Royals
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    vipin13 wrote:

    bap and ma ne ajj tk mara nii 😜

    Wow 😳…Wo Kisi Ko Bhi Nhi Maarte Bro…Ye Duniya H Na Ye Maarti Alag Alag Tariko Se

    Deal Cadet Deal Cadet
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    the fact is you cannot do anything to change his behaviour and if you try to hard you two will be fighting like cats n dogs so better let him do whatever he is doing & learn from his mistake … you concentrate on your life 👍

    Deal Subedar Deal Subedar
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    Leave about studies. Unless he gets interest & motivation to understand the concepts by himself, he won’t study. Don’t waste your energy by giving him pep talks.

    1st thing to do is to show him and make him understand how difficult it is for a middle class family to survive and how hard your father is working, to feed him and his desires.. Involve him in all financial matters. Tell your parents that he is no longer a school kid and to stop giving him everything for nothing.

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