Teasing Answers (Bakwas Band Kar)
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Hummers
These may be OK for North American roads but what about in UK?
I wonder how many GALLONS does it do to a MILE ???
As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a “social session” out with friends.
Well two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine.
Feeling jolly, I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit. That’s when I did something that I’ve never done before – I took a cab home.
Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block but, since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident.
This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before.
I don’t know where I got it and now that it’s in my garage I don’t know what to do with it !!!
Rhino
A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservation, “ I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York.” The agent was at a loss of words.
Finally the agent said, “Are you sure that’s the name of the town?”
“Yes, what flights do you have?” replied the lady.
After some searching, the agent came back with, “I’m sorry, ma’am. I‘ve looked up every airport code in the country and can’t find Rhino anywhere.”
The lady retorted, “Oh, don’t be silly. Everyone knows where it is. Check your map.”
The agent scoured the map of the state and finally offered, “You don’t mean Buffalo, do you?”
“That’s it ! I knew it was a big animal,” she admitted.
The deaf Italian bookkeeper
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.
His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.
It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer:
“Ask him where’s the money?
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido:
“Where’s the money?. "
Guido signs back:
“I don’t know what you are talking about.”
The lawyer tells the Godfather:
“He says he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.”
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido’s temple and says:
“Ask him again!”
The lawyer signs to Guido:
“He’ll kill you if you don’t tell him..”
Guido signs back:
“OK.!!!! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my Cousin Bruno’s house.”
The Godfather asks the lawyer:
“What did he say?”
The lawyer replies:
“He says you don’t have the balls to pull the trigger.”
Don’t you just love lawyers …………..
Be nice to others when you travel abroad
An American tourist asked a boat guy in Zanzibar:
“Do you know Biology, Psychology, Geography, Geology or Criminology?”
The boat guy said:
“No. I don’t know any of these.”
The tourist then said:
“What the hell do you know on the face of this Earth? You will die of illiteracy!”
The boat guy said nothing. After a while the boat developed a fault and started sinking.
The boatman then asked the tourist:
“Do you know Swimology and Escapology from Crocodiology?”
The terrified tourist said:
“No! “
The boat guy replied:
“Well, today you will Drownology and Crocodiology will eat your Assology. I will not Helpology and you will Dieology because of your Badmouthology.”
Vagabond
A poor vagabond, travelling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside inn with a sign reading: “George and the Dragon.” He knocked.
The innkeeper’s wife stuck her head out a window. “Could ye spare some food?” he asked. The woman glanced at his shabby clothes and obviously poor condition.
“No! “she said rather sternly. “Could I have a print of ale?” “No!” she said again. “Could I at least sleep in you stable?” “No!” By this time, she was fairly shouting. The vagabond said, “Might I Please…..?” “What now?” the woman interrupted impatiently. He continued, “……..have a word with George?”
HR OFFICER:- what is your name?
MUZO:- M.P sir
HR OFFICER:- In full!
MUZO:- Muzo Phiri
HR OFFICER:- your father’s name?
MUZO:- M.P sir
HR OFFICER:- what does that mean?
MUZO:- Melvin Phiri
HR OFFICER:- your native place?
MUZO: M.P sir
HR OFFICER:- what’s that?
MUZO:- Muchinga Province
HR OFFICER:- what is your qualification?
MUZO:- M.P
HR OFFICER:- (angry) what is thaat?!!!
MUZO:- Mathematics Professor
HR OFFICER:- so why do you need a job?
MUZO:- it is because of M.P sir
HR OFFICER: meaning?
MUZO:- Money Problems
HR OFFICER:- would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What’s yo personality like?
MUZO: MP sir.
HR OFFICER: and what is that?
MUZO:- Marvelous Personality
HR OFFICER:- I see… I will get back to you.
MUZO:- sir, how was my M.P?
HR OFFICER:- and what’s that again?
MUZO:- My Performance.
HR OFFICER:- I think u are an M.P
MUZO:- m.e.a.n.i.n.g?
HR OFFICER:- Mental Patient!!!
Husband To wife – "Wow Honey..,
The House is So clean..!!!
Was the Whatsapp Server down today…???"
सेठानीजी नाराज होकर बोली-जो म्हारो ब्याव कोई असली राक्षस सु भी हो जातो ना; तो भी वो मन्ने थारासु जादा सुखी राखतो।
मारवाड़ी सेठजी-यो तो बिलकुल ही कोनी हो सकतो थो।
सेठानीजी-क्यू कोनी हो सकतो थो ?
सेठजी-अये बावळी! आपणा लोगामे एक ही साख-गोत्र में ब्याव कोनी होवे है ना;
Popular golden word:
“if u want to be great,
u must walk with great people”
.
.
.
.
Seriously, i have no objection u can walk with me..;
A man & a woman who never met before, find themselves on upper & lower berth of a long distance train. At 2 am, Man leans over saying, "Ma’m, sorry to bother you, Would you be kind enough to give me a 2nd blanket from the side table. Its awfully cold.
“I have a better idea”, she replied, "Just for tonight, why don’t we pretend that we are married !!
“Great idea Madam.”. He replied in excitement.
She says,“Well then Get up & take it yourself..”
Punch Of D Day ….
O
nce A Man Asked God: "Why All Girls Are So Sweet,😇 And All Wifes Are Always Angry 😈 & Bitter•••
God Answered: Girls Are Made By Me … And Wifes By You…!!!
- Your Problem … !!!*
नेता (बच्चे से): तुम चाय क्यों बेच रहे हो?
बच्चा: क्योंकि मुझे आपकी तरह देश बेचना नहीं आता न!
 for Rs. at ){kind=link}
Q: Which is the striped BRA? – zeBRA
Q: Poisonous BRA? – coBRA
Q: Mathematical BRA? – algeBRA
Q: Zodiacal BRA? – liBRA
Q: Magical BRA? – aBRAkadaBRA
Q: Metallic bra? – BRAss
Q: Angelina Jolie’s Bra? – BRAd Pit…
Q: Botany BRA? – BRAnch
Q: Marketing BRA? -* BRAnd!*
Q: Punctuation bra? – BRAcket
Q: A room where BRA’s are kept? -_ liBRAry_
Q: Bra which became the American President and inspired the whole world? – ABRAham Lincoln!
Q: Which bra is very important for any vehicle? – BRAke
Q: Brave Bra – BRAvado
Q: Donkeys language? – BRAying
Q: Where do naughty thoughts originate? – BRAin