Hot Deal Teasing Answers (Bakwas Band Kar)

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You must have seen the jokes on 9x channel, here is to remind them

I would have given him 100%…

This person is a genius!

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM
I would have given him 100%

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
A In his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
A. At the bottom of the page

Q3. Hudson River flows in which state?
A. Liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
A. Marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
A. Exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A. Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
A. The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a Man go eight days without sleeping ?
A. No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
A. Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

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@[email protected]_0_0_D wrote:@

नेता (बच्चे से): तुम चाय क्यों बेच रहे हो?
बच्चा: क्योंकि मुझे आपकी तरह देश बेचना नहीं आता न!


After that, नेता (बच्चे से):

https://i.imgur.com/IKYp5V4.jpg
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sharma_ji wrote:

@[email protected]_0_0_D wrote:@

नेता (बच्चे से): तुम चाय क्यों बेच रहे हो?
बच्चा: क्योंकि मुझे आपकी तरह देश बेचना नहीं आता न!


After that, नेता (बच्चे से):

https://i.imgur.com/IKYp5V4.jpg

jab se pappu ne Nammu ko kat khaya..

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Gaur farmaaiye 

Arz Kiya-

Mehfil me hamare joote kho gaye to ham ghar kaise jayenge?
Mehfil me hamare joote kho gaye to ham ghar kaise jayenge?

kisine kaha-“Aap shayari to shuru kijiye,
itne milenge ki aap gin nahi payenge”.

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Proverbs

1. If you’re too open minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

3. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

4. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

5. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

6. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

8. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

9. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

10. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

11. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

12. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

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Ransom

1 Aurat Kidnap Hui Aur Kidnap Karne Walon Ne Uske Pati Ko Phone Kiya:
“Agar Aaj Raat Tak Rakam (Pesa) Na di Toh Hum Teri Biwi Ka Murder Kar Denge”
Ha ha ( Jaldi Jaldi )
Aur Bichara Pati Khamosh Raha.
Kya Karey
Aur
Agle Din Phir Phone Aya
“Agar Aaj Raat Tak Tumara Pesa (Rakam) Na di Toh Hum Teri Biwi Ko Wapas Tere Ghar Salla Chhodi Chhodi Ayenge Sala Bevkuff
Pati: “Raqam Bol Kaminey, Daraata Kyu Hai ?”.


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Dad – Badi hokar kya karogi?
Daughter – Maa Banugi, Padhai Karungi, Shaadi Karungi
Dad – Tu kuch b kar par thoda Sequence ka Dhyaan rakhna…


ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
______________________________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________

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Wife said during Karwachouth : chota mota hi sahi, par gold ka kuch la do…….
.
.
Husband
“Ye le Choti gold flake”

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A Punjabi Couple goes to England…

There at Hotel:-

Punjabi to Waiter:
“Sir, Most respectfully I beg to say that I am ill & Can’t come to school Kindly Grant Me Tea  for 2 Please.”

Waiter is Surprised 
But Understnds & brings Tea…

Wife: “Wah ji,Twanu te fur fur English auandi aey”

Husband: “Halley te main Paani waastey Thirsty Crow v Sunani hai..!!!!”

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PRAY REGULARLY

There is a story of about a sea captain who in his retirement skippered a boat taking day-trippers to Shetland Islands.
On one trip, the boat was full of young people.
They laughed at the old captain when they saw him say a prayer before sailing out, because the day was fine and the sea was calm.
However they weren’t long at sea when a storm suddenly blew up and the boat began to pitch violently. The terrified passengers came to the captain and asked him to join them in prayer.
But he replied, “I say my prayers when it’s calm. When it’s rough I attend to my ship.”

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A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her

purse. He cud’nt control his curiosity n asked “Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?” She replied

" No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today..


The story

continues….
The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased.
Shocked

at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing. He said your husband has blocked your credit

card.
MORAL : Respect the hobbies of your husband. 😆

Story continues….
Wife took out her husbands

credit card from purse and uses it to clear all the bills. Unfortunately he didn’t block his own

card.

Moral: Obey your wife….in all situations

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I went out last night and left my car at the pub and took

the bus home.
.
.
.
.
.
.
h1. I was very proud of myself this morning as I had never driven a bus before.

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https://i.imgur.com/r93wKpz.jpg

and irony is that dataservice provided by you only !

Missing