Is dad always right?
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Iam actually in a awkward weird horrible situation right now
I have no idea what to do and what not to do
I have many options but none seems favourable than being silent
So here is my situation
7 years ago my father faced a big loss in business so he migrated to another state for employment.He didnt have any proper room nor he ate proper food.2 years later he suffered with piles.We were far from the state and there was no one to take care of him we reached there after some 1-2 weeks.I was in 7th AFAIK.He said a lady takes so much care of him.In this inhuman times we were really astonished to find someone like her who was completely helpful.I must really say she was too helpful.She did everything which was possible.Operation was undertaken and he is well.Over the 3 years he continued his job and after my 10th the employer suggested my father to go to another state and so we decided lets we all go and shift to the other state and we did it.After shifting here he worked here for some 4 months but then he got transferred to another state that was again much far from our current state but near to our previous state then after 6 months he was again asked to go to the first state he worked for.My mother was angry at him,she used to say if u werent going to live with us then why did u bring us here.Both were right at their points.Quarells were very much common among them but again they used to reunite.But now the situation is much different.Over the past two years of our living in this new state lots had changed.He came around once a month or sometimes once in two months to see us.Well it was much expensive too to travel.Around 2.5 days for coming and 2.5 for again returning.It takes a unpaid leave of around a week.And not necessary to talk about flights.So over the past years the woman who helped in the piles operation and my father became good friends and my mom didnt had any problem either.In last one year,He left his job and decided to do a business with that woman by opening a shop where the shop(actually an extra home she had built) will be given by woman and my dad should buy the goods to sell from the money they both invest.Dad used to gather as much as he can and the woman used to invest the pension and salary of his husband who is a soldier.As he is a soldier he is mostly out for service.In past six months whenever i opened google photos i found many of her photos,as the google divides the photos with faces and arranges them in descending order and shows as per the face so when i checked i found the woman has gained the third position in my google photos gallery which is just after my fathers photos and my photos and even ahead of my mothers photos.I saw many of her photos with Dad which were not so good for me like one in a train sitting on her laps and a selfie and what not but i tried it to hold in my heart.My father’s sister was a motivator counselor and mentor i always thought she could help me but i could never get myself courgae to talk to her because if whatever i thought was not true then it may kead to a serious issue so i left the issue many times just thinking and crying alone in night.Whenever he used to come here then for sure he would have a quarrel with my mom atleast once and specially now when he talks with that woman for over 4 hrs a day on phone.The main point of quarrel between my mom and dad be this woman.I always thought my mom has a big role for these quarrels by not behaving good but over this lockdown period my perception has changed much.
On 19th March my mom suffered severe fever and so i informed my dad.My dad said book a flight ticket of tonight i said it costs 8.5k he said no problem book it.It was around 2-3 months since he visited us so he decided to come at any cost and he arrived before the lockdown began.Now after many many days or say years he has been with us for more than a month.Over this lockdown everyday morning 7-9 and evening 6-9 he goes to terrace and walks whenever i visit terrace i mostly find him talking to that woman.Well its good atleast he dont heats my moms blood by talking infront of her atleast.But he didnt leave talking at home too.Leaving aside these 5hrs on terrace he talks to her at late nights early mornings and in this lockdown much more.Whenever we play cards if this woman calls then the game is called off i mean stopped.Every day a quarrel starts on the same topic and i get sad because iam unable to do anything overthis.So now the most important issue 4 days back late night when i was sleeping i heard my mom shouting on him and said more u shout more will i talk.I got mad now hearing all these quarrels.Early morning of the same day i opened google photos changed mail id to my fathers saw all her photos.I found a whatsapp chat where my father had written I Love you to that woman.Well that was much more than enough to kill me beneath.I had no idea what to do.Again same thought process continued lets call bhua who is a motivator but again the same issue that this issue should get solved.My father came back home from walking.I remained silent.He said good morning i didnt reply after an hour another quarrel happened and now i could not handle myself.I went to my father found him in a video call with the same woman I showed the whatsapp chat screenshot to him and he cut the call with her and said whats this i said i found it in your phone.Then he clearly looked into it and understood the matter and said so u were doing jasoosi on me or keeping a watch on me?Go now tell your mother about this and to every one and said to go out.I went out and with one hour of no talks he again called me in and i went.He said dont try to interfere in my personal life if u interfere it will affect our dad son relation whatever i did is right i know whats correct for me now.I was handling both the sides correctly but never expected u to keep an eye on me.Leave this now.I said ok and gone to bedroom and slept.I thought what to do when i woke up again at 4 pm i saw a call recording between my mom and dad,my mom said wake up your kid and say him to eat something my father said dont tell me about him dont ever tell me about him,he has grown up so much that he will teach his father what his correct or not and cut the call.After listening to this again i gone mad.And am still thinking what to do.I hadnt said this issue even to my mom because if i say it will just get more serious nor can i share it with my small brother.I thought i cant share with my physical friends but lets get a opinion from my virtual friends.I thought of numerous options in which one was death but death is not an solution whenever i think of my mom who is just living for my small brother and me.I thought my father will automatically get his mind correct and will understand he was wrong but this neither happened.He is still not talking to me.Quarrels are still continuing daily between my mom and dad there my mom is not knowing currently about what had i seen over the years.I have no one to share much more whats inside me.Looks like whats gonna happen will happen soon and what i can do is just be prepared for it.
Yesterday was my mom and dads 20th anniversary well everything is going so dramatically.Nor did i wish any of them.I planned many things for this anniversary but looks like god has some other plan for them
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Ok 
I feel you shouldn’t have confessed
I think..your mom knows it too?
Life is complicated…people are complicated
Sometimes circumstances decide your fate
No mom doesnt know its yet
Just got angered on these daily quarrels and lost my patience
But if i hadnt confessed then at the long view the situation must be even more bad
I also believe every parent is correct
Whatever actions my dad has taken on me iam grateful towards him
He was the one who supported me everytime
He just behaved as a friend
But this one matter had taken everything out of control
What’s ur age @boredidiot009
Currently 17
I just wish my dad sorts it out himself by leaving a side that woman
For one woman he is disturbing his whole family
Why is he not understanding this
I had many options
If i had called my grand father by now my dad would have completely left that woman but that would be forceful it would not lead him again to a good life with my mom.Iam just waiting when god listens to me and inserts a correct thought in his mind
I will honestly tell you this even if it sounds bad, your father & mother didn’t have a happy marriage(speaking in an emotional sense,not every bad marriage has physical violence). That woman provided the support your mother could not earlier(may be your mother didn’t realize this) & that was the basis of this relationship. Now nothing can be done from your side, if you somehow manage to make your father leave that woman then he will remain bitter towards you & your mother for the rest of his life even if physically he remain beside you & your mother. You should get your mother to talk to some marriage counselor & explore all options incl even divorce(may work as a threat in best case scenario) with condition of full financial support from your father. Don’t do any talk with your father regarding this now because that will only make the situation worse.
“I thought my father will automatically get his mind correct and will understand he was wrong but this neither happened”
It will and bound to happen sooner than later.
There is already so much smoke so certainly there is fire my friend, no doubt your father is involved.
Just pray to God that your father does not pay a huge price to come out of that relation, I mean sometimes even life. So pray to God.
Not so easy to come out of these relations, it may be from other side too, that woman may not be willing.
Meanwhile protect your savings and properties by transferring to mom’s name, if possible.
And u, ur mom better maintain peace even if he is wrong/violent which is natural for people in those predicaments.
I wish and pray that u and ur family get good old times back soon.
Just praying the same
You should expose it.
Tell him that “having a love affair with another than married is not our culture.”
He should learn something from “Ramayan”. (Laxman is the ideal to follow.)
“एक नारी सदा ब्रह्मचारी”.
He should forget her or leave.
I will say only one thing, don’t let any of these issues affect your mental health. I know it’s very easy to say that. But you need to study hard and give your mom and brother a good life…… Now about your dad, you can’t do anything dear…… So ignore and study hard……
When I was younger, I faced the same kind of household daily quarrels (Hindi : Kalesh).
One of the cause of these is Finances.
They make you weak. Weak from inside.
It is very easy to say to you that focus on your studies.
However, there is no other option for you.
You have to become something to be able to take over the responsibility as soon as possible.
You will have to sacrifice things.
Don’t worry it will all be right and much better than you can not even imagine at this moment.
Sometimes, the mind is not in our control and we do stupid things that look relatively harmless and exciting. One of it is having an affair.
Just forgive your dad for your self peace.
Be the support for your mom.
Whether your dad will change or not is something no one knows. What if he doesn’t even after 5 more years? So you can’t depend on that as a possible solution.
The best thing you can do is become financially independent.
Start working part time, if you can. If you’re in school, opt for graduation via correspondence and work towards making your own money.
The best support one can have is from money. If you can manage your own expanses including that of your mom and little brother, your dad’s antics will cease bothering you for life irrespective of what he does or doesn’t. Do your bit honestly and leave rest to God.
Dad always right what? Nobody is always right, not ever! That sort of ancient mindset should be disposed of.
Your dad is in love with another woman while being married, extramarital affair, which is however tendered legal by court, is still a dirty disgusting thing in my books. When you lose your character, you lose everything, whoever said that, i firmly believe that. At least your father have the decency to not speak with the woman in front of your mother, and he doesn’t beat, those are the good things. And for these reasons alone, I would echo what’s been said above, focus on your studies, man up and stand on your feet. Believe me, the most important thing in life is financial stability, no matter what anyone else says. I learned it the extremely hard way.
If however, there’s physical abuse involved, or extreme mental torture which can lead to severe sickness to your mother’s health, then you need to take actions.
But one thing is for certain, change your perspective at once, that nobody is ever always right, hence, you should question everybody’s actions, or inactions and process them with your own beliefs and wisdoms and act accordingly, be it parents, your children, or god, if you believe in that sort of thing. Goes without saying your own conscience has to be flawless to start with though.
Good luck.
+ 21 Naturals.
I don’t have suggestion for you. I just feel sorry for you and your mom and pray that you guys can find a way out of this situation.
Bhai, baap ki G pe L maar aur keh ki get lost and tell him that u will take care of MOM and brother… Let mom know what the shit he had been doing alk this while… Ask him to pay maintenance for all of you he wants to carry on with affair…. You are his family and he cannot run away… Make much of hue and cry with BUA as well… She will take care of this IDIOT (I am sorry, I calling ur dad idiot)… 
Jaisa chal raha h chalne do. If you start poking your father might stop coming home which will affect the whole family financially. So concentrate on your studies and focus on getting a good job (after you grow up not now). Things will get better with time. 
Kaise chalne do… Dono bhaiyon ko peet dena chahiye dad ko… It can’t do on forever…
Very much hard to accept/face these kind of issues at this very small age ! Really i appreciate your patience !
Only 2 options will clear this issue..
Quarrel between your mom and dad should
get stopped atleast for some extend.
Next is your father should ignore that woman (but practically the chance is less if they’re long enough) Attachment will be more if both are long and quarrel will be more if they’re close enough. (My assumption)
Try to solve it by following above 2 options if possible.
Its difficult to ignore the situation, but divert your mind to studies/friends whenever possible.
Don’t worry.. Your life will become pleasant very soon since you’ve faced many challenges so far. Nothing is permanent in this world, so don’t worry.
God Bless You 
Wow kitna kuch tha jo tumne keh gaye….itna bada post toh main padhta bhi nhi kabhi…you r not dead bro….u r alive…this is the real life
Mujhe khushi is baat ki h…ki is age mai bhi tumne kuch galat step nhi liya…aur kafi soch samajh ke yaha apni baat share ki…which shows u have patience and ability of decision making….yakien mano bhai ab life dekhi h tumne aur tum aakele nhi ho bahut h tum jaise is duniya mai jo koi na koi zakham apne andar liye ji rahe h…
Main toh tera fan ho gaya re…bahut potential h tere mai…jabhi kehte h jo sikhsha books nahi sikhati wo zindagi sikha deti h…ab tu bada ho gaya h
Yahi life h bhai…ayese f**k karti h ki aawaz tak nhi nikal pati h…zindagi bahut beraham h dost…aur ye situation tumhe sikh deti h ki tum apni life mai kyese jiyo…khud ko strong karo kyuki is situation se tum nikalna bhi chaho gay toh bhi aasan nhi h…abhi sirf 17 ke ho…ab ab yahi waqt h ki waqt ko badal na suru kar do…jisko jo karna h wo karega wahi…tum bas samjha sakte ho wo na maane toh bhi kuch nhi kar sakte…khud ko uthao aur us layak banao ki past kitna bhi kala raha ho…par future bright ho
Yaha pe tumhe sab milegay tumse bade,chote ,tez aur budhu bhi…khud ko aakela mat samjho…koi bhi help ho bolo hum hai yaha…par ye yaad rakhna apna kal badalna h…khud ko independent banao aur tumhare dad ko jo chahiye wo de do aur side ho jao….kisi ki kahi samajh nhi aati h jab waqt aata h tab sab aankhe khul jati h…tumhe kya lagta h unhone nhi socha hoga ki kya effect padega iska tumpe aur tumhari mom pe…sukar h lockdown ka jo kal der se pata chalna tha wo sab aaj clear ho gaya…abhi bahut young ho…sahi raste pe chal ke khud ko is se nikalo
Zindagi bahut se zeher pilati h…I am sure kitno ne isse bhi kadve zaher piye hai…iska matlab ye nhi ki waqt ki is maar ke aagay tum haar jao….dhire hi sahi par khud ko strong karo…bina tape sona nhi banta h
1. Your father is with you till lockdown only. He will leave once it is over. Hence ignore your father
2. Concentrate on your studies. Get a education
3. Leave it to your parents to sort it out themselves
4. Only when you get a good education and job, you can take care of your brother and mother
5. Once you settle in life its your decision what to do with your father. Till then ignore him
You can choose your partner, but you can not choose your parents. Your father will remain your father and your mother will remain your mother, whether they remain with each other or not. Your parents got married without your involvement. If needed, they will decide to get separated without your involvement. They both are mature adults and capable of making their own choices and decisions.
Your mother knows about his affair but cannot leave him as she is not financially independent and cannot take care of her two children alone. Your father also love his sons so he did not leave the family. You are just 17 and not financially capable of supporting your mother and brother. May be despite everything, she does not want to leave him also. And despite everything, when your mother really required him, he came to her support at all costs. Relationship is a complicated thing. You are still too young to understand it. So better let your parents decide themselves what future they want their relationship to have.
Meanwhile, you concentrate on your studies to be financially capable enough to stand strong with your mother, if in future she decides to get out of the relationship.
NOT your regular advice….It’s so disheartening to learn our father taking things for granted being the only bread earner of the family making our life miserable for his personal pleasure!! I can relate to to this so closely….then we have this sudden urge of going solo, taking our mom from all this suffering, our little siblings who isnt mature enough to understand what’s going on, the feeling of helplessness, the depression. Well I won’t suggest you to ignore rather than put that anger in your own self development, your own good, take things practicality, erase the emotions, make your mom understand the fact that this is not the end of world. At this tender age of 17, overthinking, resolving it in haste can only will make things more complicated. I can understand your concern, I know you love your dad, but bro theres this category of men who don’t value life long partner for some roadside Wh***re…I hope u get that word….it makes them so blind that they cant differentiate between good and bad. So solution is instead of wasting your time and energy civilising him, use him to your advantage. Let it not ruin your studies, your career, your life. The only thing which can stop him is the self realisation and nothing else. Don’t ruin your life for this 2 rupee lady, she might be enjoying this unknowingly or knowingly but my friend karma will hit her soon…accounts will be settled soon…..I know its easier said than done but my friend, use your dad for your own good though don’t make him realise u are ok with his relationship, but just ignore this aspect of his life. Act good and take advantage, coz he is the one who will fund your needs, and when table is turned don’t avenge. Forget that part of life as a bad dream. But for u to be financially strong in future is more important than any other shit for now. Study hard, stay smart, go solo and make your mom happy. God bless
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don’t make him realise u are ok with his relationship, but just ignore this aspect of his life. Act good and take advantage, coz he is the one who will fund your needs, and when table is turned don’t avenge.
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Perfect advice.
Your family should allow him to enjoy him until he realizes his mistake.
well u shouldn’t interfere in his personal life. and there is no point in forcing him into a relationship that he doesn’t value anymore.
I think u should focus on the important aspect, that’s the financial needs. try to get any property in ur moms name if you could, and also part of salary or saving if he makes or have any.
I’ll suggest that you please don’t meddle into your dad’s affair. You please focus upon your studies. Else you will ruin your mental state. This is all gonna stop one day and if you bother much into others affair then you will end up blaming them for ruining your life. Guru mantra is ignore. They are adults, let them sort out their love lives on their own. Don’t add any complication from your side.