https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1180035
Alpha.Barood
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Laughing is the best medicine... :D
- 20203
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https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1180603
Pappu’s quote re: CONgress
If India is computer, Congress is its default program says Rahul ‘Pappu’ Gandhi
the media misquoted Pappu – What Pappu meant was:
“If India is computer, CONgress is THE-FAULT program"
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1180604
Here are some replies:
- Then Modi is like Antivirus to remove all pirated default programmes…
-Then Congress is “CORRUPTED” software which is damaging the computer
- Then I think it is high time to reboot the system and change the operating system.
- Then It is not a PROGRAMME but a VIRUS.
- Sure it is – something like MSDOS version 1.0 when the rest of world has moved on……
- Pappu is the trash can aka recycle bin…
- Pappu’s CONgress is: MALWARE, VIRUS, WORM, SPYWARE OR TROJAN. I think TROJAN suits Pappu the best… As its (TROJAN) a program that appears to be legitimate, but performs some illicit activity when it is run. It may be used to locate password information, make the system more vulnerable, or simply destroy programs or data. Similar to CONgress….!!!
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1181399
Computer Tech Support & Problems they get round
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one…
===
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… Sorry….
===
Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
===
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.
Tech support: Would you click on “start” for me and…
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.
===
Customer:
Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ’Can’t find printer’.
I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…
====== =
Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Tech support: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah,………………..thank you.
===
Tech support:
What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.
===
Customer: My keyboard is not working any-more.
Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work…
===
Tech support: Your password is the small letter “a” as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
== =====
Customer:
Can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
===
Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.
===
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
===
Tech support:
How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
===
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
===
And last but not least…
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time.
That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don’t have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: “P”…..on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
========
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1182354
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1186099
3 Idiots – Facebook Style:
Rancho: Smiling
Teacher: Aap muskura kyu rahe ho?
Rancho: Bohot dino se Facebook me account banane ki ichha thi…aaj bana diya hai…bohot maza aa raha hai.
Teacher: Zyada maza lene ki zarurat nai hai…Tell me what is a Post?
Rancho: Anything that is posted on Facebook is Post, Sir.
Teacher: Can you please elaborate?
Rancho: Sir…jo bhi Facebook pe log daalte hai post hai sir…Ghumne gaye…photo daal diya! Post hai Sir. Match dekha score daal diya! Post hai Sir… Sir actually hum post se ghire hue hai sir! Katrina ki pic se Ronaldo ki kick tak!
Sab post hai sir! Ek second me comment, ek second me like!
Comment-Like… Comment-Like
Teacher: Shut up! Account banake ye karoge? Comment-Like… Comment-Like…
Hey Chatur tum batao,
Chatur: Pictures, texts or videos posted through mobile or tablet or laptop or desktop via different operating system using internet on Facebook is called a Post…
Teacher: Excellent!
Rancho: Par sir maine bhi toh wahi bola seedhe shabdo mein…
Teacher: Seedhe shabdo me karna hai toh orkut ya twitter ke pages pe account banao… :@
Rancho: Par sir dusre sites bhi toh…
Teacher: Get out!
Rancho: Why sir?
Teacher: Seedhe shabdo me bahar jaiye.
Rancho goes out and comes back*
Teacher: Kya hua?
Rancho: Kuch bhul gaya tha sir.
Teacher: Kya?
Rancho: An utility button given to us, to protect our private data i.e pictures, messages or personal information for being stolen or used for bad purpose by hackers or anyone else…
Teacher: Kehna kya chahte ho!?!?
Rancho: Logout sir! Logout karna bhul gaya tha!
Teacher: Seedha seedha nahi bol sakte the?!
Rancho: Thodi der pehle try kiya tha sir, aapko pasand nahi aaya… :👬
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1188953
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1189016
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1190017
Closing the Divorce and Alimony case of Santa Singh vs Preeto Singh…
Judge : I have reviewed this case carefully and have decided to give your wife alimony of Rs 20,000 per month.
Santa: That’s very fair, your honour. And whenever possible I’ll also try to give her some money myself!!
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1194934
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1195452
Stress relief exercise
Facial Exercises . . . good for stress relief……
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1199519
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1199523
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1201353
What happens when you steal pills from a cancer patient.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1201355
He loves it.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1202744
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1203769
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1204882
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1206817
Lottery scratch tickets make good last minute Christmas gifts
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1209426
1) Long back, a person who sacrificed his sleep, forgot his family, forgot his food, Forgot laughter were called “Saints”, But now they are called.. “IT professionals”
2) An interesting line written at the back of a Biker’s T-Shirt: “If you are able to see this, please tell me that my girlfriend has fallen off”
3) Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love…
Love is always present… It’s just that, One loves too much, and the other loves too many.
4) Employee: Boss, now I have got married..! Please increase my salary!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occurring outside the company!
5) Philosophy of life
At the beginning of married life, every gal treats her husband as GOD,
Later on somehow the alphabets got reversed..!
6) What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new and just few hours left for your exams..!
7) Useful
Someone has rightly said, “A fool can ask more questions that a wise man cannot answer”
No wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!
8) Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: Oh sure…@! How about this card, it says “To the only boy I ever loved!”
Girl: That’s good, Give me 12 of them..!
9) After reading the form filled by an applicant… The employer said: “WE do have an… opening for you..!”
Applicant: What is it?
Interviewer: It’s called the “door..!”
10) A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company…
Drive Slowly, Don’t kill our Employee….. Leave them to us.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1209488
Airport Chaos
During the ‘rush hour’ at Houston’s Hobby Airport, a flight was delayed due to a mechanical problem. Since they needed the gate for another flight, the aircraft was backed away from the gate while the maintenance crew worked on it. The passengers were then told the new gate number which was some distance away. Everyone moved to the new gate, only to find a third gate had been designated for them. After some further shuffling, everyone got on board, and as they were settling in, the flight attendant made the standard announcement, "We apologise for the inconvenience of this last-minute gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., then you should ‘deplane’ at this time.” A very confused-looking and red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags. “Sorry, “ he said, “wrong plane.”
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1210202
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1211544
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1211549
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1212627
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1214180
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1214360
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1214523
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1215354
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=3#post_1215355
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