STORY

“Four years ago, my father suddenly had a heart attack. He passed away. I was in school when my mother called me and gave me this news. I started trembling and rushed back home. We took him to his village. The feeling when I put my father’s body in the grave is one that I can’t explain. Me and my brothers kept crying and pleading to Allah to make a miracle happen and we get him back but we couldn’t.

My mother, my inspiration, my reason to smile, took us back to the city on the fifth day after baba’s death. A young wife because of early marriage, whose husband just died and she wasn’t even out of that trauma, was ready to take us back to the world and face reality – her strength was astounding. She didnt have the responsibility of just one child but four children, including a daughter who was just 10 years old and her dad’s favorite.

It was a hard day at school, when we went back after a week. Everyone came to say Fatiha for Baba. Every now and then all those happy moments spent with baba came in my mind and I used to cry but not in front of my mother because I knew we were the reason why she came back and was being strong. There were times when I used to see my siblings crying in separate rooms but all I used to do was pray to Allah to give them patience. There were times when we had financial problems and my mother used to go into depression. We lost support from paternal side and all we had was our maternal grand-father and mother and khalas who helped us during this period.

Today, Alhumdulillah we are well settled, very happy and I’m completing my engineering. We still miss Baba of course.

The reason why I shared my story is that today when I see people who talk to their parents in such a bad manner and especially people who lost hope after the death of a parent; it kills me. You have to find an inspiration and get back on your feet and make your parents proud because they are watching you. And those who are rude to their parents, you will realize it when your children will talk to you the same way. You waste precious time now and you will regret this later.

My message to all of you is that no matter how many Chachus, phuppos, khalas you have but when either one of your parent dies (God forbid), you get to know the reality of the world. Then, none of your relations stand up for you. No phuppo or khala will wake up early to prepare you lunch, no chachu or mamu will drop you to school or give you money every month for your friend’s birthday parties, etc. So people, respect your parents. They are a blessing in this world and world Hereafter. No matter how many friends you make, none of them can replace your parent. Even if it’s one parent, take care of him/her. They are the pathway to Jannah. Please be kind to them and make an oath today that you will make them proud one day and you will always stand beside them. Remember, parents are irreplaceable."

am i the only one having DD in that list

read it today in quora

@hsagent wrote:

am i the only one having DD in that list

Whether DD required to be taken seriously ?

Become less “controlling”

“Controlling” refers to unhealthy attempts to manipulate the behavior of others, having the need to control your environment, and becoming defensive or anxious when other people don’t behave to your specifications – the way you think they should be.
To be controlling means you are preoccupied with the actions of others and how those actions affect you.
“Controlling” is highly stressful – both to the controller and to those who are being controlled. A person who is controlling carries with him a great deal of stress because; occasionally we can influence another person, but can’t force him to be a certain way. To someone who is controlling, this is highly frustrating.

What hurts the controlling person is what goes on inside -- his feelings and emotions. The key element seems to be a lack of willingness to allow other people to fully be themselves, to give them space to be who they are, and to respect – really respect – the fact that people think differently. Deep down, a controlling person doesn’t want other people to be themselves, but rather the image of who they want them to be. But people aren’t an image of who we want them to be – they are who they are.

The only way to become less controlling is to see the advantages of doing so. When you can make allowances in your mind for the fact that other people see life differently than you do, you’ll experience far less internal struggle.

In addition, as you become less controlling, you’ll be a lot easier to be around. You can probably guess that most people don’t like to be controlled. It’s turnoff. It creates resentment and adversarial relationships. As you let go of your need to be so controlling, people will be more inclined to help you; they will want to see you succeed. When people feel accepted for who they are rather than judged for who you think they should be, they will admire and respect you like never before

wow! very nicely written

@opium