Teasing Answers (Bakwas Band Kar)

Teasing Answers (Bakwas Band Kar)

Score: 17 Votes: 17
Score: 17 Votes: 17
Score: 17 Votes: 17
Score: 17 Votes: 17
Score: 17 Votes: 17
Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047

You must have seen the jokes on 9x channel, here is to remind them

I would have given him 100%…

This person is a genius!

STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% ON AN EXAM
I would have given him 100%

Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
A In his last battle

Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
A. At the bottom of the page

Q3. Hudson River flows in which state?
A. Liquid

Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
A. Marriage

Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
A. Exams

Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
A. Lunch & dinner

Q7. What looks like half an apple?
A. The other half

Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
A. It will simply become wet

Q9. How can a Man go eight days without sleeping ?
A. No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A. You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..

Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
A. Very large hands

Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
A. No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
A. Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_lol.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_lol.gif
  • In
991 Comments  |  
30 Dimers
The nfl wallpaper  yvt2
Entertainer
0
158
11640
171

Good One Mate … https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_wink.gif

Adding Few More From My Side … https://cdn2.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_toungueout.gif

BOY : May I hold your hand ???
GIRL : No thanks, it isn’t heavy …

GIRL : Say you love me !!! Say you love me !!!
BOY : You love me …

GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring ?
BOY : Sure, what’s your phone number ?

GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest …
BOY : Then marry me and we’ll be the happiest couple …

GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever …
BOY : Don’t you ever want to improve ???

BOY : I love you and I could die for you !!!
GIRL : How soon ???

BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you !!!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there ???

Girlfriend : And are you sure you love me and no one else ???
Boyfriend : Dead Sure !!! I checked the whole list again yesterday …

Teacher : Now Bala, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ???
Me : No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook …

Teacher : George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him ???
Me: Because George still had the Axe in is hand …

https://cdn0.desidime.com/smileys/mlMmL.gifhttps://cdn0.desidime.com/smileys/ssydj.gifhttps://cdn0.desidime.com/smileys/LRQ9T.gifhttps://cdn0.desidime.com/smileys/BMNIy.gifhttps://cdn0.desidime.com/smileys/2dEl1.gifhttps://cdn0.desidime.com/smileys/W0iNx.gif

Images
Deal Captain
16
1,369
7770
347

Excellent

1208747 628183553871372 670479813 n
Deal Captain
2
39
12236
159

yup its totally hillarious.. Something like gettinb trolled… Lol… I used to watch it long back.. Thanks for reminding… https://cdn1.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_smile.gif

Missing
Deal Newbie
0
50
23
9

Lol… Keep it coming….

Pooh2
Deal Cadet
1
137
290
33

1) Whats the opposite of Leander Paes? Ans. Leander doesn’t pay.

2) What do you say to Cheese to make it dance? Ans. Nacho Cheese

3) Limca mein hota hai Lime.. Limca mein hota hai Lime.. Distance is equal to speed upon time

ad bot
1
1
1
1
Ad Bot

I found this sponsored content on one of the ad networks.

Mascots dance
Deal Subedar
3
185
2265
122

luv it Barood and Bala bros!! https://cdn1.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_biggrin.gif

Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047
vohrarohit wrote:

1) Whats the opposite of Leander Paes? Ans. Leander doesn’t pay.

2) What do you say to Cheese to make it dance? Ans. Nacho Cheese

3) Limca mein hota hai Lime.. Limca mein hota hai Lime.. Distance is equal to speed upon time


Kya bat hai
3/3, All new for me !
https://cdn2.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_smile.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_wink.gif

Arsenal2
Super Moderator
2
104
7580
140

Nice:lol: ..

Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047

Not guilty

A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. He took a sip of the wine, then tossed the remainder into the bartender’s face. Before the bartender could recover from the surprise, the man began weeping.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m really sorry. I keep doing that to bartenders. I can’t tell you how embarrassing it is to have a compulsion like this.” Far from being angry, the bartender was sympathetic. Before long, he was suggesting that the man see an analyst about his problem. “I happen to have the name of a Psychoanalyst,” the bartender said. “My brother and my wife have both been treated by him, and they say he’s as good as they get.” The man wrote down the name of the doctor, thanked the bartender, and left. The bartender smiled, knowing he’d done a good deed for a fellow human being. Six months later, the man was back. “Did you do what I suggested?” the bartender asked, serving the glass of white wine. “I certainly did,” the man said. “I have been seeing the Psychoanalyst twice a week”. He took a sip of the wine. Then he threw the remainder into the bartender’s face. The flustered bartender wiped his face with a towel. “The doctor doesn’t seem to be doing you any good.” He sputtered. “On the contrary,” the man claimed, “he’s done me a world of good.” “But you threw the wine in my face again!” The bartender exclaimed. “Yes’” the man replied. “But it doesn’t embarrass me anymore.” https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_lol.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_lol.gif
Mascots dance
Deal Subedar
3
185
2265
122
@[email protected]_0_0_D wrote:@

25 most commonly misspelled words



Well now I know as I only got 56% correct !!



Can our brain boxes out there do any better ???



Click here:


http://www.businesswriting.com/tests/commonmiss...
https://cdn2.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_smile.gif


excellent find…got 81%

11111
Super Moderator
19
188
16524
306
@[email protected]_0_0_D wrote:@

25 most commonly misspelled words



Well now I know as I only got 56% correct !!



Can our brain boxes out there do any better ???



Click here:


http://www.businesswriting.com/tests/commonmiss...
https://cdn2.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_smile.gif


Good one bhai. Karma Given

Lekin mai to fail ho gya iss test mein! https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_lol.gif

Babys%2001
Deal Cadet
0
105
924
72
cm4444 wrote:

@[email protected]_0_0_D wrote:@

25 most commonly misspelled words



Well now I know as I only got 56% correct !!



Can our brain boxes out there do any better ???



Click here:


http://www.businesswriting.com/tests/commonmiss...
https://cdn2.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_smile.gif


Good one bhai. Karma Given

Lekin mai to fail ho gya iss test mein! https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_lol.gif


idhar to chal jayega , par prescription writing me fail mat hona warna patient fail ho jayega https://cdn1.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_biggrin.gif

Dsc05536
Deal Captain
4
258
8720
132

Good work barood bhai……. really enjoyed ithttps://cdn0.desidime.com/smileys/eKavq.gifhttps://cdn0.desidime.com/smileys/eKavq.gif
Karma given……https://cdn0.desidime.com/smileys/BgvXc.gif

Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047

The Monk

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.

He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, my car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, we can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way.

Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.

The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.

That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.

The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply,

We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.

The man says, All right, all right. I’m dying to know.

If the only way I can find out what that sound was, is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?

The monks reply, you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles.

When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.

The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery.

He says, I have travelled the earth and devoted my lives to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.

The monks reply, Congratulations, you are correct and now you are a monk.

We shall now show you the way to the sound.

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door.

The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked.

He asks, May I have the key?

The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.

Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.

The man requests the key to the stone door.

The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went until the man had gone through doors of

…silver, topaz, and amethyst.

Finally, the monks say, this is the key to the last door.

The man is relieved to no end.

He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound.

It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight

H

HH

HHH

HHHH

HHHHH

. . But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.

  • *

*
Don’t swear at me; I’m still hunting for the FUNNY FRIEND who sent this to me!*

Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047

HINDI SOCH

Answer padne se pehle socho aur solve karo….

Welcome to HINDI SOCH session..! https://cdn2.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_smile.gif

In today’s session you have to rewind your Hindi lectures and interpret the Hindi proverbs (Hindi Muhaavre) communicated by the given pictures:

We are citing ONE example which will give you an idea to comprehend

the pictures easily.

Ex:.

https://i.imgur.com/H6MlE.jpg https://i.imgur.com/8GFUj.jpg

Ans: BHAINS ke aage BEEN BAJAANA

1.

https://i.imgur.com/7CsaM.jpg

Ans: Aasmaan se gira khajoor mein atka

https://i.imgur.com/DdqhI.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/Y3Lh4.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/TkJJ9.jpg

Ans:4 din ki chandni fir andheri raat

Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047

Hindi soch.. cont.

https://i.imgur.com/qpIHt.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/kzdjk.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/Yh9JI.jpg

Ans:Laaton ke bhoot baton se nahi maante

https://i.imgur.com/XiVAK.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/j8BjY.jpg

Ans:unth ke muh mein jeera

https://i.imgur.com/j13jG.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/OWT62.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/d6iDc.jpg

Ans:andhon mein kaana raaja

Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047

https://i.imgur.com/M3xI2.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/oAQj6.jpg

Ans:Maan naa maan main tera mehmaan

Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047

https://i.imgur.com/rYY7n.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/oKxLU.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/7kATN.jpg

Ans:ulta chor kotwaal ko daante

Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047

https://i.imgur.com/a25ly.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/qBy6O.jpg

Ans:Jale par namak chidkna
https://cdn2.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_smile.gif

Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047

https://i.imgur.com/xjx74.jpg

Ans:ab pachtaye hot kya jab chidiya jug gai khet

https://i.imgur.com/pL6ss.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/Ak7Op.jpg

Ans:jo garajte hain wo baraste nahi

Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047

https://i.imgur.com/NdWSN.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/pgWBr.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/6EgF8.jpg

Ans:Ghar ka bhedi lanka dhaye

Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047

https://i.imgur.com/kymbM.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/3Xo4g.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/via30.jpg

Ans:Ek anaar so bimaar

https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_lol.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_lol.gif
Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047

How to be gracious

Jennifer’s wedding day was fast approaching.

Nothing could dampen her excitement – not even her parent’s nasty divorce.

Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and could be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever!

A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father’s new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother!

Jennifer asked her father’s new young wife to exchange it, but she refused.

Absolutely not! I look like a million bucks in this dress, and I’m wearing it," she replied.

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ’’Never mind sweetheart. I’ll get another dress.

After all, it’s your special day.’’

A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother.

When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, “Aren’t you going to return the other dress”?

You really don’t have another occasion where you could wear it."

Her mother just smiled and replied, ’’Of course I do, dear…..

I’m wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night BEFORE the wedding.’’

Now I ask you – is there a woman out there, anywhere, who wouldn’t enjoy this story?)

Women are like phones: They like to be held, talked to, and touched often.

But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected!

Women are Angels. And when someone breaks our wings…. We simply continue to fly…….. on a broomstick….. We are flexible like that. OKAY,
https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_cool.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_cool.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_cool.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_cool.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_cool.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_cool.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_cool.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_cool.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_cool.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_cool.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_cool.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_cool.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_cool.gif https://cdn3.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_cool.gif

Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047

GK TEST

1. What is the expansion ( Full Form ) of YAHOO?
Yet Another Hierarchy of Officious Oracle

2. What is the expansion ( Full Form ) of ADIDAS?
ADIDAS- All Day I Dream About Sports

3. Expansion of Star as in Star TV Network? Satellite Television Asian Region 4. What is expansion of “ICICI?” Industrial credit and Investments Corporation of India

5. The 1984-85 season. 2nd ODI between India and Pakistan at Sialkot –
India 210/3 with Vengsarkar 94*. Match abandoned. Why?
That match was abandoned after people heard
the news of Indira Gandhi being killed.

6. Who is the only man to have written the National Anthems
for two different countries?
Rabindranath Tagore who wrote national anthem for two different
countries one is our ’s National anthem and another one is for
Bangladesh- (Amar Sonar* *Bangla )

7. From what four word expression does the word `goodbye` derive?
Goodbye comes from the ex-pression: ‘god be with you’.

8. How was Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu better known?
Agnes Gonxha Bojaxhiu is none other Mother Teresa

9. Name the only other country to have got independence on Aug 15th?
South Korea

10. Why was James Bond Associated with the Number 007?
Because 007 is the ISD code for Russia (or the USSR , as it was known during the cold war)

11. Who faced the first ball in the first ever One day match?
Geoffrey Boycott

12. Which cricketer played for South Africa before it was banned
from international cricket and later represented Zimbabwe ?
John Traicos

13. Which is the only country that is surrounded from all sides by
only one country (other than Vatican )?

Lesotho surrounded from all sides by South Africa ..
14. Which is the only sport which is not allowed to play left handed?
Polo

Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047

EXEMBLERY AND COURAGEOUS WOMEN.

The Rambo Granny of Melbourne, Australia
Gun-toting granny Ava Estelle, 81, was so ticked-off when two
thugs raped her 18-year-old granddaughter that she tracked the
unsuspecting ex-cons down… And shot off their testicles.

“The old lady spent a week hunting those men down and, when she
found them, she took revenge on them in her own special way,”
said Melbourne police investigator Evan Delp.

Then she took a taxi to the nearest police station, laid the gun
on the sergeant’s desk and told him as calm as she could be:
“Those bastards will never rape anybody again, by God.”

Rrapist and robber Davis Furth, 33, lost both his penis and his
testicles when outraged Ava opened fire with a 9-mm pistol in the
hotel room where he and former prison cell mate Stanley Thomas,
29, were holed up.

Now, baffled lawmen are trying to figure out exactly how to deal
with the vigilante granny..
“What she did was wrong, and she broke the law, but it is
difficult to throw an 81-year-old Woman in prison,” Det. Delp
said, “especially when 3 million people in the city want to
nominate her for Mayor.”

DEPORT HER TO INDIA , WE NEED HER!

Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047

God’s reply

Three old men went to see
God. The first old man, an American,
asked God when will his country come out of recession. “100
years,” God said. The American started weeping
profusely. “I will not live to see that day”
Second man, a Russian asked God “When will my country become
prosperous?” “Fifty years,” came the reply.
Russian too started weeping profusely. “I will not live to see
that day” Finally the Indian asked God,
“When will my country become corruption-free?”
God started weeping profusely. “I will not live to see that day”
https://cdn1.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_redface.gif https://cdn2.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_cry.gif

Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047
@[email protected]_0_0_D wrote:@

God’s reply

Three old men went to see
God. The first old man, an American,
asked God when will his country come out of recession. “100
years,” God said. The American started weeping
profusely. “I will not live to see that day”
Second man, a Russian asked God “When will my country become
prosperous?” “Fifty years,” came the reply.
Russian too started weeping profusely. “I will not live to see
that day” Finally the Indian asked God,
“When will my country become corruption-free?”
God started weeping profusely. “I will not live to see that day”
https://cdn1.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_redface.gif https://cdn2.desidime.com/assets/textile-editor/icon_cry.gif


no1 read or no1 commented ?
2 post before this..

Draw
Deal Colonel
10
1,179
52060
1047

Worst day of my life !

Some days are better than others.

https://i.imgur.com/SJiGj.jpg

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a great huge,

trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

“Well, whatcha’ gonna do about it?” he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

“Come on, man,” the biker says, “I didn’t think you’d CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying.”

“This is the worst day of my life,” I say.

“I’m a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.

When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don’t have any insurance.

I left my wallet in the cab I took home.

I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me."

“So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all,

I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve;

then you show up and drink the whole thing!

But enough about me, how’s your day going?"

Missing