Truth about the 12 Most Common Relationship Myths

Truth about the 12 Most Common Relationship Myths

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The Truth about the 12 Most Common Relationship Myths

From a young age, we are always taught that there’s almost always a happy ending, be it in literature, movies, or in television shows. Western culture teaches us to expect a “happily ever after” straight out of a fairy tale, and this belief often leads us to feel that our relationships should be calm and pleasant all the time. However, life is not a fun ride all the time, and is far from perfect. Relationships require work and effort, as well as copious amounts of patience, forcing us to review the myths we thought were true. For some, these 12 truths may be hard to accept, but they are the only way to open yourself up to a truly fulfilling relationship that will stand the trials of life.

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1. A “Soulmate” is a partner that loves you and is willing to put in the hard work a relationship requires

Most people think that soulmates will find each other from across the room after a single look, but in the real world things happen a little differently. Some of us may reject potential mates over minor issues, while others think that their relationships are failing purely because they haven’t found that “soulmate”. This does not imply that you should work on a relationship with a person who treats you poorly, or that you cannot find common ground with, but waiting for that soulmate may cause us to develop unrealistic expectations from a future mate, which will lead you to many disappointments. The thing that turns a good partner into a soulmate is care and commitment, and that is what you should look for in a relationship.

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2. A stable relationship is built on dealing with difficulties, not avoiding them

Every relationship is strewn with hardships, big and small. We can imagine our relationship as a long rope, and hardships are knots along that rope. Some of these knots seem so big that we may feel disappointment or anger at needing to tackle them. Some people prefer to throw that knotty rope altogether, while others may choose to try and ignore them. Relationships are built on honest attempts from both sides to untangle these knots, because ignoring them will not make them go away.

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3. Arguments are a good thing

Arguments and disagreements are part of every relationship since the beginning of time. We all have certain behaviors and beliefs that can lead to friction with our partners, and some things that seem minor to some couples can prove a major issue for others. Even if we cannot always find the appropriate words to express our feelings, avoiding a conversation over significant issues often leads to an even worse disagreement in the end. Being able to have a discussion over serious problems without offending each other is what makes a relationship a solid one, and enables people to stay together through thick and thin.

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4. Some scars from past relationships may never heal

Most people come into relationships after experiencing happiness with other partners, but also more than a little heartache. Some of the scars we bear are the result of being hurt in the past, while others are from bad decisions, or ones we did not make in time. Some of these hurts may heal, but others can take years to, or even may never heal, even if you’re in a stable, loving relationship. Some people claim that a good partner can heal such injuries, but sometimes these wounds are simply too deep. No partner will ever be able to know everything that happened to us in the past, and our best course would be not to fault our new partner for past wounds. A supportive partner is not necessarily someone that wants to make us “better”, but someone who knows our scars and accepts us as we are.

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5. Jealousy is not the same thing as care

Fear that a partner will not show us care can lead some people to believe that a good partner is also a jealous one. The truth is that while care is essential to a good relationship, jealousy is the result of personal insecurities. Most studies show that the only way to resolve jealousy is by the jealous individual changing their own perception; many people still think that they are the reason for their partner’s jealousy. If you are uncomfortable with your partner’s behavior, talk to mutual friends about it, or even confront your partner directly.

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6. Actions always speak louder than words

Even though many of us enjoy texting or calling each other throughout the day, this is not the type of communication that will help a relationship last. Technology does allow us to be more in contact with each other, but it doesn’t form true closeness and doesn’t prevent disagreements. Romance novels put great emphasis on love declarations, but in real life, most arguments revolve around who puts away the dishes, whose turn it is to do the laundry, or who’s to blame for being late for an appointment. In other words, if you do at least one small thing extra for your partner every day, you’ll foster a positive and loving atmosphere that even 20 texts wouldn’t have been able to do. With that in mind, remember to thank your partner when they do something for you, so that they don’t feel like they are being taken for granted.

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7. Your partner is not a mind reader

Amongst our shared tasks and chores, we can feel that when our partners make mistakes that it is caused by carelessness or neglect, even though most mistakes are the result of honest misunderstandings. A huge part of being in a relationship is showing patience and understanding, as well as asking and showing forgiveness. Before you accuse your partner, check yourself and make sure you did everything you can to explain yourself, and do your best to help them understand how you feel. Can you text them the grocery list instead of leaving a note on the table (which they may miss)? How about sharing an online calendar with all of your planned activities?

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8. Only you can change yourself

We usually know our partner’s good and bad sides pretty well, but may still feel frustrated that we cannot change a certain behavior of theirs that bothers us. Popular culture has us believing that if you love someone, you’ll want to change for him or her, but this is rarely the case. The best way to show your love for someone is not to try and change him or her but to help them become a better version of themselves. Share your feelings with your partner and offer to do what is needed to help them. If your partner refuses to cooperate, decide whether it is something you can forgo, or if it is a “deal breaker”

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9. The best relationships are built on love, not need

“I can’t live without you” may sound great, but a truly good relationship is one where both partners love each other more than they need each other. If you feel like the only reason you’re in a relationship is to compensate for other areas in your life where you feel uncertainty, you’ll never feel truly satisfied. Remember to invest in your personal and professional needs, rather than hope that your partner will solve your problems for you.

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10. Love and attraction change over time

Daily routine takes a toll on our time and energy levels, leading to changes in how we feel about our partners, and even though it is a known issue, many people end up hurt or disappointed with these changes. The myth that dwindling passion means that your relationship is in trouble may make you think your relationship’s over and there is no point in trying to address the situation. Many couples realize that they only go out with other couples instead of spending quality time with each other. Set some time aside for a date, or even a quiet dinner alone after the kids have gone to bed.

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11. Love doesn’t conquer all

Even the most loving relationship cannot change a person who’s not happy with themselves. If you haven’t dated in a while and decide to get back out there, don’t expect immediate success or happiness. The problems you’ve had at work or with your family won’t disappear, and even though a relationship is a joyous thing, it won’t necessarily fix your dissatisfaction with other aspects of your life. Instead of listening to people that tell you that relationships are the miracle cure, you should address your problems yourself before you can truly enjoy your new relationship.

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12. Nothing lasts forever

We are not immortal, but at times life causes us to treat our partners as a low priority. Keep reminding yourself about all the reasons why you should appreciate this connection that you’re so lucky to have: Why you fell in love with your partner, those special private moments you shared, etc. Even though life is short, we can remember people that meant a lot to us but are no longer there, so the best thing you can do for your relationship is to live without regrets. Tell your partners how you feel. Do that thing you always wanted to do with them. You may not have a chance later on.

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The bottom line is, that while you shouldn’t settle for someone that is incompatible with you, you still need to put in more than a little effort and offer a lot of patience to make your relationship work. Time and routine will take a toll on every couple, but those who are willing to face these challenges head on and still stay together will be rewarded with a long and happy relationship, even if it isn’t “perfect”.

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What’s my Age?

Johnny’s wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger.

At home, after a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the “miracle” products, she asks Johnny:

“Dear, honestly, if you didn’t know me, what age would you say I am?”

Looking over her carefully, Johnny replied…

“Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five.”

“Oh, you flatterer!” she gushed.

Just as she was about to tell Johnny his reward, he stops her by saying:

WHOA, hold on there …… I haven’t added them up yet!”

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Money is power

5 years back when I went to temple, it was written “Mobile Phones Prohibited”.
2 years back it was changed as “Keep your mobile switched off”.
Last year it was changed as “Keep your mobile in Silent mode”.
Yesterday when I went, it is changed as :
“If you wish to take a Selfie with Lord/Idol, please pay Rs.50 at the Counter " 😂😂🙏

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  • 6 ways to decide if the people in your life,
    the ones who call themselves your friends, behave as true friends*

1. True friends honor their words with actions

“The focus should not be on talking. Talk is cheap.
It must be on action.” ~ Howard Berman
Love is a verb, and if someone wants you to know how much you really mean to them,
and how important your presence and existence is in their life, they will prove it to you
not just by using all kind of beautiful and colorful words, but also by making sure that they
honor all those words with actions. People who love and care about you, true friends,
they honor their words with actions.

2. True friends find time for you in their busy schedule

People who tell you that they love you but they rarely make themselves available
to you know nothing about love, for that’s not true love. If you really love someone, and
if the relationship you have with them matters to you, then you will make yourself available
to these people. You will find a way to spend quality time with them.
True friends find time for you in their busy schedule.
“Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give
someone is your time. It is not enough to just say relationships are important;
we must prove it by investing time in them. Words alone are worthless…
Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is “T-I-M-E.” ~ Rick Warren

3. True friends laugh with you, but they also cry with you

I once heard someone say that when you laugh, the whole world laughs with you,
but when you cry, you cry alone. And I don’t agree with this. From personal experience
I can tell you that there are people in this world who know how to truly love. People who
will be there for you no matter what. People who will laugh with you you, but who will
also cry with you. People who will not leave you alone especially in those dark and painful
moments when their love and support is what you need the most. True friends
laugh with you, but they also cry with you.
“If one day you feel like crying…
call me I don’t promise that I will make you laugh but I can cry with you.
If one day you want to run away Don’t be afraid to call me.
I don’t promise to ask you to stop, but I can run with you.
If one day you don’t want to listen to anyone call me I promise to be there
for you but I also promise to remain quiet but…
If one day you call and there is no answer…
come fast to see me..
Perhaps I need you.” ~ Robert J. Lavery

4. True friends remind you of who you truly are underneath it all

No matter how many times you will “fail” at becoming this perfect, kind and loving person you aspire to become, and no matter how many times you will behave in crazy, negative, unhealthy and toxic ways, both toward yourself and toward those around you,

the people who truly love you will never blame and criticize you for your weaknesses.

They will never condemn you for being human and for having something that we all have –

a dark side. True friends rekindle your inner spirit by constantly reminding you of who

you truly are underneath it all. Because they love and adore you, and because they can

see beyond all your tantrums, doubts, fears, darkness and insecurities, they will constantly

remind you of who you truly are underneath it all, helping you tap into your inner beauty,

wisdom, greatness and power. And helping you to live your life from a place of truth,

light, love and integrity, no longer from a place of fear and doubt. “If you treat an individual

as he is, he will remain how he is. But if you treat him as if he were what he ought to be and

could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

5. True friends give you permission to be yourself

Your true friends, the people who truly love you, will never try to control you,

to change you or to convince you that you should be anything other than yourself.

They give you the permission to just be. To be yourself, unapologetically, loving you

for you, and not for who they think you should be. True friends give you permission

to be yourself. “Friends can help each other.

A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself –

and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the

moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to –

letting a person be what he really is.” ~ Jim Morrison

6. True friends make you better, not bitter

True friends bring out the best in you. They make your life sweeter with

their words, their presence, their actions and behaviors. They enhance you,

they enhance your life, and they make you want to become a better person. True friends

inspire you to live your life to your full potential, to be better not bitter, and to constantly look for the good in the bad, and the beautiful in the ugly. Always remember, true friends make you better, not bitter… “True friendship multiplies the good in life and divides its evils.

Strive to have friends, for life without friends is like life on a desert island…

to find one real friend in a lifetime is good fortune; to keep him is a blessing.” ~

Baltasar Gracian

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The Unclassified Laws of Etiquette

Never exaggerate.
Never point at another.
Never betray a confidence.
Never leave home with unkind words.
Never neglect to call upon your friends.
Never laugh at the misfortunes of others.
Never give a promise that you do not fulfill.
Never send a present, hoping for one in return.
Never speak much of your own performances.
Never fail to be punctual at the time appointed.
Never make yourself the hero of your own story.
Never pick the teeth or clean the nails in company.
Never fail to give a polite answer to a civil question.
Never question a child about family matters.
Never present a gift saying that it is of no use to yourself.
Never read letters which you may find addressed to others.
Never fail, if a gentleman, of being civil and polite to ladies.
Never call attention to the features or form of anyone present.
Never refer to a gift you have made, or favor you have rendered.
Never associate with bad company. Have good company, or none.
Never look over the shoulder of another who is reading or writing.
Never appear to notice a scar, deformity, or defect of anyone present.
Never arrest the attention of an acquaintance by touch. Speak to him.
Never punish your child for a fault to which you are addicted yourself.
Never answer questions in general company that have been put to others.
Never, when traveling abroad, be over boastful in praise of your own country.
Never call a new acquaintance by their first name unless requested.
Never lend an article you have borrowed, unless you have permission to do so.
Never attempt to draw the attention of the company constantly upon yourself.
Never exhibit anger, impatience or excitement, when an accident happens.
Never pass between two persons who are talking together, without an apology.
Never enter a room noisily; never fail to close the door after you, and never slam it.
Never forget that, if you are faithful in a few things, you may be ruler over many.
Never exhibit too great familiarity with the new acquaintance, you may give offense.
Never will a gentleman allude to conquests which he may have made with ladies.
Never be guilty of the contemptible meanness of opening a private letter addressed to another.
Never fail to offer the easiest and best seat in the room to an invalid, an elderly person, or a lady.
Never neglect to perform the commission which the friend entrusted to you. You must not forget.
Never send your guest, who is accustomed to a warm room, off into a cold, damp, spare bed, to sleep.
Never enter a room filled with people, without a slight bow to the general company when first entering.
Never fail to answer an invitation, either personally or by letter, within a week after the invitation is received.
Never accept of favors and hospitality without rendering an exchange of civilities when opportunity offers.
Never cross the leg and put one foot in the street-car, or places where it will trouble others when passing by.
Never fail to tell the truth. If truthful, you get your reward. You will get your punishment if you deceive.
Never borrow money and neglect to pay. If you do, you will soon be known as a person of no business integrity.
Never write to another asking for information, or a favor of any kind, without enclosing a postage stamp for the reply.
Never fail to say kind and encouraging words to those whom you meet in distress. Your kindness may lift them out of their despair.
Never refuse to receive an apology. You may not receive friendship, but courtesy will require, when a apology is offered, that you accept it.
Never examine the
cards in the card-basket. While they may be exposed in the drawing room, you are not expected to turn them over unless invited to do so.
Never, when walking arm in arm with a lady, be continually changing and going to the other side, because of change of corners. It shows too much attention to form.
Never insult another with harsh words when applied to for a favor. Kind words do not cost much, and yet they may carry untold happiness to the one to whom they are spoken.
Never fail to speak kindly. If a merchant, and you address your clerk; if an overseer, and you address your workman; if in any position where you exercise authority, you show yourself to be a gentleman by your pleasant mode of address.
Never attempt to convey the impression that you are a genius, by imitating the faults of distinguished men. Because certain great men were poor penmen, wore long hair, or had other peculiarities, it does not follow that you will be great by imitating their eccentricities.
Never give all your pleasant words and smile to strangers. The kindest words and the sweetest smiles should be reserved for home. Home should be our heaven.

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@@@Tulan@@ @@@[email protected]@[email protected]@@

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@@@srocks@@ @@@Mia Khalifa@@

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Dilip Kumar on love life & the love of life

On the occasion of his 92nd birthday excerpts from one of my interviews with Dilip Kumar Saab

Do awards have any meaning for you any longer?
Oh yes, they do! When you hold it in your hand or keep it next to you on the bed when you go to sleep, the trophy is
at angible reminder of your past. Mere paas jab aata hai, main muskura ta hoon. Because I know that those who’ve
given it to me and those who will get to know about them will think of me for a while.Like you did.

Cinema buffs think of you all the time. There’s no Indian cinema without Dilip Kumar.
That’s kind of you. My wife Saira keeps reminding me of all the people I’ve to thank for calling and
congratulating me. She’s very very busy, you know.

She has to be, she has to look after the biggest and most famous baby in India.
Han, yeh aapne bilkul sach kaha. I’m grateful to God forgiving me such a girl as a friend and companion who
has given everything to me. I’m indebted to her in every possible way. When any one calls, when anything
needs my attention, Saira makes a note. There’s no aspect of my life that she doesn’t touch with her generosity.

Would it be possible to be the person you are with out her contribution?
No,not possible. Saira keeps me in touch with what’s going on around me. The children of yesterday have
grown up. Some know how to conduct themselves well, others not so well. I’ve to deal with both kinds. Sairaji
helps me to sift through all the people I’ve to connect with, almost like a
woman who separates the wheat from the chaff.

She’s more like a mother to you than wife now.
Oh yes. She has a much higher designation than a wife in my life. Sometimes she gets angry with or
without reason. Even now she’s monitoring and observing me. She’s constantly
making mere pay my debts to my audience and well wishers.

How do you react when Amitabh Bachchan says he regrets you not winning an award for Ganga Jamuna?
I feel touched. At that time when we made Ganga Jamuna I toiled very hard.But I didn’t know
the film would reach so far. Even today people are singing those songs from the film.

Have you ever thought of writing an autobiography?
Yes, I have thought of this. And I’ve written it all down. Saira has all the papers.She’s collaborating
with her journalist-friend Udaya Tara Nayar to put it together. I told Saira to get someone who
assembles my life story with some concern rather than disinterest. I want it to come out sounding
positive and saying good things in goods words about the people I’ve known.

Have you told the absolute truth about your life in the book?
Not everything. That isn’t possible. There’re so many and varied experiences. And I haven’t
forgotten any of them. Mujhe sab baatein yaad rehti hai. I remember
acting drunk in dirty clothes, staggering by a garbage can for Devdas.

Were you really drunk in Devdas?
No! That would make it impossible to work, bhai! As for my biography,even you won’t be able to
tell the whole truth about your life. Why do you want me to tire my self talking about it?
When the book is published I’ll certainly send you a copy.

Who’s the most unforgettable heroine you worked with besides Sairaji?
(ponders for minutes) I could name anyone.
But that doesn’t seem right.

Would it be Madhubala, Meena Kumari, Nargis?
(laughs) How easy it is for you to rattle off those names.
It isn’t that easy for me.

They were all memorable in their own way, weren’t they?
Not all. Not at all.There were some who were uncaring and worthy…they were hard to work with.
Even today I feel uncomfortable talking about them.Yes there were some co-stars in whom there
was a lack of civility. Luckily I had reached a position where they couldn’t misbehave with me.

What advice for today’s film fraternity?
They need to invest their emotions wisely. Even I made many mistakes.

You haven’t been seen on screen for a long time?
I can’t see a subject of substance of which I’d like to be part of.

Any unfulfilled dreams?
Many.

Missing