In Mumbai (India), there is a group that runs an ‘insurance’ service for ticket-less travel on local trains. This is a real beauty. Considering that there are millions of passengers being transported every day, the statistical chances of one being caught is very slim. This is how this works : you pay a very small fee to the gang each month, this is about 1/10th the going rate for a monthly railway pass. You never buy a ticket but keep travelling blithely in the trains. If you get caught, don’t argue. Pay the fine, come to your ‘agent’, hand over the receipt and get reimbursed. Everyone wins, except the Indian Railways of course.

Advice From Your Friendly Neighborhood Bartender

https://i.imgur.com/gallery...ta

Transport firm staffer strips, beats 12-yr-old for stealing parts & scrap

http://www.dnaindia.com/mumbai/1897932/report-t…

BOOKSHELVES

https://i.imgur.com/gallery...fq

एक अमीर आदमी था। उसने समुद्र मेँ अकेले
घूमने के लिए एक
नाव बनवाई।
छुट्टी के दिन वह नाव लेकर समुद्र
की सेर करने निकला।
आधे समुद्र तक पहुंचा ही था कि अचानक
एक जोरदार
तुफान आया।
उसकी नाव पुरी तरह से तहस-नहस
हो गई लेकिन वह
लाईफ जैकेट की मदद से समुद्र मेँ कूद
गया।
जब तूफान शांत हुआ तब वह
तैरता ततैरता एक टापू पर
पहुंचा लेकिन वहाँ भी कोई नही था।
टापू के चारो और समुद्र के अलावा कुछ
भी नजर नही आ
रहा था।
उस आदमी ने सोचा कि जब मैंने
पूरी जिदंगी मेँ
किसी का कभी भी बुरा नही किया तो मे
साथ ऐसा क्यूँ
हुआ..?
उस आदमी को लगा कि भगवान ने मौत से
बचाया तो आगे
का रास्ता भी भगवान ही बताएगा।
धीरे धीरे वह वहाँ पर उगे झाड-पत्ते
खाकर दिन बिताने
लगा।
अब धीरे-धीरे उसकी श्रध्दा टूटने लगी,
भगवान पर से
उसका विश्वास उठ गया।
उसको लगा कि इस दुनिया मेँ भगवान है
ही नही।
फिर उसने सोचा कि अब
पूरी जिंदगी यही इस टापू पर
ही बितानी है तो क्यूँ ना एक
झोपडी बना लूँ ……?
फिर उसने झाड की डालियो और पत्तो से
एक
छोटी सी झोपडी बनाई।
उसने मन ही मन कहा कि आज से झोपडी मेँ
सोने
को मिलेगा आज से बाहर
नही सोना पडेगा।
रात हुई ही थी कि अचानक मौसम बदला
बिजलियाँ जोर जोर से कड़कने लगी.!
तभी अचानक एक बिजली उस झोपडी पर
आ गिरी और
झोपडी धधकते हुए जलने लगी।
यह देखकर वह आदमी टूट गया आसमान
की तरफ देखकर
बोला
तू भगवान नही, राक्षस है।
तुझमे दया जैसा कुछ है ही नही
तू बहुत क्रूर है।
वह व्यक्ति हताश होकर सर पर हाथ
रखकर रो रहा था।
कि अचानक एक नाव टापू के पास आई।
नाव से उतरकर
दो आदमी बाहर आये और बोले कि हम तुमे
बचाने आये हैं।
दूर से इस वीरान टापू मे जलता हुआ
झोपडा देखा तो लगा कि कोई उस टापू
पर मुसीबत मेँ है।
अगर तुम अपनी झोपडी नही जलाते
तो हमे
पता नही चलता कि टापू पर कोई है।
उस आदमी की आँखो से आँसू गिरने लगे।
उसने ईश्वर से माफी माँगी और
बोला कि मुझे
क्या पता कि आपने मुझे बचाने के लिए
मेरी झोपडी जलाई
थी।
======
moral – दिन चाहे सुख के हों या दुख के,
भगवान अपने भक्तों के साथ हमेशा रहते
हैं।

Farmer

One Farmer lived on a quiet rural highway. But, as time went by, the traffic built up at an alarming rate.

The traffic was so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six a day.

So one day the farmer called the sheriff’s office and said, “You’ve got to do something about all of these people driving so fast and killing all of my chickens.”

“What do you want me to do?” asked the sheriff.

“I don’t care,” said farmer. “Just do something about these crazy drivers!”

So the next day, the county workers erected a sign that said

SLOW: SCHOOL CROSSING

Three days later farmer called the sheriff and said, “You’ve got to do something about these drivers. The ‘school crossing’ sign seems to make them go even faster.”

So, again, the sheriff sent out the county workers and they put up a new sign:

SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY

But that sped the drivers up even more!

So farmer kept calling, and the sheriff kept changing the signs.

Finally, farmer said to the sheriff, “Your signs are doing no good. Can I put up my own sign?”

The sheriff was ready to let farmer do just about anything if it would get him to stop calling every day. He said, “Sure thing, put up whatever you want.”

And after that, the sheriff got no more calls from Farmer.

Three weeks later, the sheriff’s curiosity got the best him and he decided to give farmer a call. “How’s the problem with those drivers? Did you put up your sign?”

“Oh, I sure did. And not one chicken has been killed since then. I’ve got to go. I’m very busy.” He hung up the phone

The sheriff was really curious now and he thought to himself “I’d better go out there and take a look at that sign… It might be something that WE could use to slow down drivers…”

So the sheriff drove out to farmer’s house, and his jaw nearly hit the floor at what he saw. There, printed neatly on a sheet of plywood was farmer’s sign:

GO SLOW — WATCH OUT FOR CHICKS:

😜 😜 😜

Yeh Bombay Meri Jaan ……………………

A newcomer to Mumbai, in the heat of the day, had spent a whole day looking for some place to live in.

Unsuccessful, and tired in the end, he meets a Narial- Pani Wala and asks the man to cut one for him.

As the coconut was cut a genie popped out, and said to the desperate man:

‘I am genie. I can grant you any one wish you might have’.

The man said:

‘My dear, I am a stranger here, please find me a house to live in’.

The genie laughed and replied:

‘My brother, if it were that easy to find a house in Mumbai, do you think, I myself would be living in a coconut’ !!

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors.

The waiting room was filled with patients…

As he approached the receptionist’s desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.

He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said:
“YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?”

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.

He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied:
‘NO, I’VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON’T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.’

The room erupted in applause

Ek bar ek Marwadi ne ek yogi Mahraj ko pranam kiya,
Yogi ne aashirwad diya
Jao baccha tumhe swarg milega,

Marwadi ne kaha, to kya swarg tumhare baap ka hai,
Pagalo wali, Baat karta hai

Hum Duniya ko topi pehnate hai or tu Marwadi ko !

Shilpa is 21 years older than her son Raju. In 6 years from now, Shilpa will
be 5 times as old as Raju.

Question : *Where is Shilpa *??

(There IS a mathematical solution for this. Try it before scrolling down)
Solution :

Shilpa (MOM =M) is 21 years older than Raju (Child = C).

M = C + 21

In 6 years from now, Mom will be 5 times as old as her Child.

M + 6 = ( C + 6 ) x 5

C + 21 + 6 = ( C + 6) x 5

C + 27 = 5C + 30

-3 = 4C

C = -3/4

The child is -3/4 years old, that is, -9 months.

Child will be born in 9 months.

Introducing the Toot Tone

http://youtu.be/4LvwY…Qo

Yes i do,, i dont,, Suicide

https://i.imgur.com/gallery...Zp

I was helping my teenage daughter dye her hair tonight, when this happened
https://i.imgur.com/gallery/W...VU