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Self Improvement [ Peace of Mind ]
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*10 Commandments*
1. Do Not Interfere In Others' Business Unless Asked.
Most of us create our own problems by interfering too
often in others' affairs. We do so because somehow we
have convinced ourselves that our way is the best way,
our logic is the perfect logic and those who do not
conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered
to the right direction, our direction. This thinking
denies the existence of individuality and consequently
the existence of God. God has created each one of us
in a unique way. No two human beings can think or act
in exactly the same way. All men or women act the way
they do because God within them prompts them that way.
There is God to look after everything. Why are you
bothered? Mind your own business and you will keep
Your peace.
2. Forgive And Forget.
This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We
often develop ill feelings inside our heart for the
person who insults us or harms us. We nurture
grievances. This in turn results in loss of sleep,
development of stomach ulcers, and high blood
pressure. This insult or injury was done once, but
nourishing of grievance goes on forever by constantly
remembering it. Get over this bad habit. Believe in
the justice of God and the doctrine of Karma. Let Him
judge the act of the one who insulted you. Life is too
short to waste in such trifles. Forgive, Forget, and
march on. Love flourishes in giving and forgiving.
3. Do Not Crave For Recognition.
This world is full of selfish people. They seldom
praise anybody without selfish motives. They may
praise you today because you are in power, but no
sooner than you are powerless; they will forget your
achievement and will start finding faults in you. Why
do you wish to kill yourself in striving for their
recognition? Their recognition is not worth the
aggravation. Do your duties ethically and sincerely
and leave the rest to God.
4. Do Not Be Jealous.
We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our
peace of mind. You know that you work harder than your
colleagues in the office, but sometimes they get
promotions; you do not. You started a business several
years ago, but you are not as successful as your
neighbor whose business is only one year old. There
are several examples like these in everyday life.
Should you be jealous? No. Remember everybody's life
is shaped by his or her previous Karma, which has now
become his destiny. If you are destined to be rich,
nothing in the world can stop you. If you are not so
destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be
gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy
will not get you anywhere; it will only take away your
peace of mind.
5. Change Yourself According To The Environment.
If you try to change the environment single-handedly,
the chances are you will fail. Instead, change
yourself to suit your environment. As you do this,
even the environment, which has been unfriendly to
you, will mysteriously change and seem congenial and
harmonious.
6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured.
This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an
advantage. Every day we face numerous inconveniences,
ailments, irritations, and accidents that are beyond
our control. If we cannot control them or change them,
we must learn to put up with these things. We must
learn to endure them cheerfully thinking, "God wills
it so, so be it." God's plan is beyond our
comprehension. Believe in it and you will gain in
terms of patience, inner strength and will power.
7. Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew.
This maxim needs to be remembered constantly. We often
tend to take more responsibilities than we are capable
of carrying out. This is done to satisfy our ego. Know
your limitations. Why take on additional loads that
may create more worries? You cannot gain peace of mind
by expanding your external activities. Reduce your
material engagements and spend time in prayer,
introspection and meditation. This will reduce those
thoughts in your mind that make you restless.
Uncluttered mind will produce greater peace of mind.
8. Meditate Regularly.
Meditation calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing
thoughts. This is the highest state of peace of mind.
Try and experience it yourself. If you meditate
earnestly for half an hour everyday, your mind will
tend to become peaceful during the remaining
twenty-three and half-hours. Your mind will not be
easily disturbed as it was before. You would benefit
by gradually increasing the period of daily mediation.
You may think that this will interfere with your daily
work. On the contrary, this will increase your
efficiency and you will be able to produce better
results in less time.
9. Never Leave The Mind Vacant.
An empty mind is the devil's workshop. All evil
actions start in the vacant mind. Keep your mind
occupied in something positive, something worthwhile.
Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your
interest. You must decide what you value more: money
or peace of mind. Your hobby, like social work or
temple work, may not always earn you more money, but
you will have a sense of fulfillment and achievement.
Even when you are resting physically, occupy yourself
in healthy reading or mental chanting of God's name.
10. Do Not Procrastinate And Never Regret.
Do not waste time in protracted wondering "Should I or
shouldn't I?" Days, weeks, months, and years may be
wasted in that futile mental debating. You can never
plan enough because you can never anticipate all
future happenings. Always remember, God has His own
plan, too for you. Value your time and do the things
that need to be done. It does not matter if you fail
the first time. You can learn from your mistakes and
succeed the next time. Sitting back and worrying will
lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes, but do not
brood over the past. DO NOT REGRET. Whatever happened
was destined to happen only that way. Take it as the
Will of God. You do not have the power to alter the
course of God's Will. Why cry over spilt milk?
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/self-improvement-peace-of-mind?page=38#post_1963236
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Competing with Others
I was jogging one day and i noticed a person in front of me, about 1/4 of mile. I could tell he was running a little slower than me and I thought, good, i shall try to catch him. I had about a mile to go my path before i needed to turn off.So i started running faster and faster. Every block, i was gaining on him just a little bit. After just a few minutes i was only about 100 yards behind him, so i really picked up the pace and push myself. You would have thought i was running in the last leg of London Olympic competition. I was determined to catch him. Finally, i did it! I caught and passed him by. On the inside i felt so good.
“I beat him” of course, he didn’t even know we were racing. After i passed him, i realized i had been so focused on competing against him that i had missed my turn. I had gone nearly six blocks past it. I had to turn around and go all back. Isn’t that what happens in life when we focus on competing with co-workers, neighbors, friends, family, trying to outdo them or trying to prove that we are more successful or more important? We spend our time and energy running after them and we miss out on our own paths to our God given destinies.
The problem with unhealthy competition is that its a never ending cycle.There will always be somebody ahead of you, someone with better job, nicer car, more money in the bank, more education, better behaved children, etc. But realize that “You can be the best that you can be, you are not competing with no one.” Some people are insecure because they pay too much attention 2 what others are doing, where others are going, wearing & driving.Take what God has given you, the height, weight & personality. Dress well & wear it proudly! You’ll be blessed by it.Stay focused and live a healthy life.There’s no competition in DESTINY, run your own RACE and wish others WELL!!!
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/self-improvement-peace-of-mind?page=38#post_1963422
Wrong
By: Margaret MeloniI need to tell you something. I hope you don’t mind. You see, what I have to tell you might not be something you want to know. But here goes, “You are not always right.” This is my polite way of telling you that sometimes you are wrong.
It’s OK. Believe it or not, we all are wrong about something. We are wrong regularly and repeatedly. It is the nature of who we are. I am not asking you to dwell on when you are wrong or what it is you are wrong about. I ask you to consider how are you wrong? Translation, when you are wrong about something, how do you behave and how does this impact your team?
When you do not believe that you are wrong you might adopt one of these approaches:
You are convinced that as soon as you share the facts with others, they will see your point and come over to your side of the argument. This will lead you to work to teach others the ‘real facts’ so that they too can be right.
You see that others have the same facts as you and they simply do not get it, therefore they must be idiots. Unfortunately this might lead you to condescend to them and to disregard any contributions from them.
You see that they have the facts and they are not idiots, so they must be purposefully disregarding what is clearly right. In fact, you might think they are saboteurs and so you treat them like an enemy. You decide to hide information from them and exclude them so that they cannot cause trouble.
What if you do recognize that you are wrong? Do you hide it, admit it or look for someone else to blame?
When you try to cover up the fact that you are wrong about something you damage your integrity. Perhaps you do this because you come from a culture where admitting an error is a sign of weakness or you are afraid of losing face. When you are wrong and you hide it, you are teaching your team to engage in the same behavior. This makes it very difficult to proactively solve issues.
When you look for someone else to blame, you are hiding the fact that you are wrong PLUS telling a lie about someone else. This is even worse for your integrity and your credibility. Now you are teaching your team to use other team members as human shields. This makes it very difficult to build any kind of high performing team.
When you are wrong and you admit it, you model responsibility and integrity for your team. You can proactively address issues, you can demonstrate how to behave like an adult professional and you can all move forward.
Granted in different corporate cultures and political climates there are different rules about how to be wrong. Unfortunately some of these cultures do encourage insisting that you are right or shifting blame, but you always get to decide how you will behave and what rules you will use when you are wrong.
I need to tell you something. I hope you don’t mind. You see, what I have to tell you might not be something you want to know. But here goes, “You are not always right.” This is my polite way of telling you that sometimes you are wrong. It’s OK. Believe it or not, we all are wrong about something.
_ Margaret Meloni is dedicated to helping professionals become free from the work related conflict that prevents them from experiencing peace. Margaret Meloni publishes the ‘Turning Point’ eZine on a bi-weekly basis. Contact Margaret at info@MargaretMelo…om. You can learn more about Margaret and her courses, programs, and products at: http://www.margaretmelon…m_
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/self-improvement-peace-of-mind?page=38#post_1963591
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/self-improvement-peace-of-mind?page=38#post_1998828
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/self-improvement-peace-of-mind?page=38#post_2017852
The Tube Lights
Having recently moved to a new home, I’m still in the process of ‘exploring’ the house and I usually find many things that require maintenance or updating. However, that doesn’t mean everything in there is in need of a change, but sometimes it can lack that personal touch which transforms a house into a home.
Anyways, I noticed, especially in the winter, that many of the lights at the exterior of the house were not working. I thought I’d get these done a little later as some of them needed a ladder and changing.
Whilst I was delaying these, another tube light started giving up on me. I went down one evening into the kitchen and ‘flicked’ the switch on hoping to be showered with some light. To my disappointment, the light came on for second and then went off, it then came on again and went off… This cycle of coming on and going off never ended until I had to give in and switch the light off again.
Reflection
Like the lights in our house, our hearts also require regular maintenance. Without the lights in our house we can end up walking into furniture and other items of our house; we could end up at the wrong destination.
In the same manner the light within our heart requires regular maintained. Without it we could walk into all kinds of troubles, trials and tribulations. To the extent that we could be walking in the complete opposite direction of our intended destination.
The spiritual body is very delicate and it requires a lot of nurturing and attention. Any neglect from our behalf could leave our lives in darkness and destruction.
So how to maintain the purity of heart?
1- Removing the germs of negativity, backbiting, lying, fraud, leg pulling etc.
2- Staying with positive and happy people.
3- Remembering God several times a day.
4- Spending on others, helping others
5- Many others things to make others happy !!!
Clean heart and soul guarantees the peace of mind and ensure huge blessings from God.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/self-improvement-peace-of-mind?page=38#post_2035186
Confidence: Being Assertive
If you’re reserved, you’ve likely been told you need to be more assertive (confident and forceful personality) at work. But if that’s not your natural style, how can you still ask for what you need and get what you want? Here are three ways:
Start with a success inventory. To understand when your style is effective or not, spend a week assessing your success. Before a meeting, ask yourself, “What do I want?” Then, afterwards, evaluate the results.
Set small goals. Challenge yourself with a specific goal. For example, give yourself a week to initiate three difficult conversations with colleagues. Or promise that in group discussions for the next month, you’ll speak up within the first two minutes.
Build relationships. If you hold back because you’re uncomfortable with your co-workers, consider interacting more with colleagues outside of work so that you feel more at ease speaking up.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/self-improvement-peace-of-mind?page=38#post_2035189
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/self-improvement-peace-of-mind?page=38#post_2035197
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/self-improvement-peace-of-mind?page=38#post_2035227
The Butterfly Cocoon
A man found the cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress.
It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and could go no further. So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened!
In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly. What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If God allowed us to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as we could have been. And we could never fly. So have a nice day…and struggle a little!
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/self-improvement-peace-of-mind?page=38#post_2035232
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/self-improvement-peace-of-mind?page=38#post_2035249
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https://www.desidime.com/discussions/self-improvement-peace-of-mind?page=38#post_2044195
The Echoes of Happiness: Belly Laughs
It is easy to laugh when we feel good, but it is when the world appears dim that we most need laughter in our lives.
As children, we laugh hundreds of times each day, delighted by the newness of living. When we reach adulthood, however, we tend to not allow ourselves to let go in a good belly laugh. Inviting laughter back into our lives is simply a matter of making the conscious decision to laugh. Though most of us are incited to laugh only when exposed to humor or the unexpected, each of us is capable of laughing at will. A laugh that comes from the belly carries with it the same positive effects whether prompted by a funny joke or consciously willed into existence. When our laughter comes from the core of our being, it permeates every cell in our physical selves, beginning in the center and radiating outward, until we are not merely belly laughing but rather body laughing.
Laughter has been a part of the human mode of expression since before evolution granted us the art of speech. Through it, we connected with allies while demonstrating our connection with people we didn’t know. In the present, laughter allows us to enjoy positive shared experiences with strangers and loved ones alike. Yet solitary laughter carries with it its own slew of benefits. An energetic and enthusiastic bout of whole-body laughter exercises the muscles, the lungs, and the mind in equal measure, leaving us feeling relaxed and content. When we laugh heartily at life’s ridiculousness instead of responding irritably, our focus shifts. Anger, stress, guilt, and sadness no longer wield any influence over us, and we are empowered to make light of what we originally feared. Laughter also opens our hearts, letting love and light in, changing our perspective, and enabling us to fix our attention on what is positive in our lives.
It is easy to laugh when we feel good, but it is when the world appears dim that we most need laughter in our lives. Our laughter then resonates through our hearts, filling the empty spaces with pure, unadulterated joy. We regain our footing in the moment and remember that no sorrow is powerful enough to rob us of our inborn happiness. When we understand that uninhibited laughter is the food of the soul, nourishing us from within, we know instinctively that life is worthwhile.
It is easy to laugh when we feel good, but it is when the world appears dim that we most need laughter in our lives.
As children, we laugh hundreds of times each day, delighted by the newness of living. When we reach adulthood, however, we tend to not allow ourselves to let go in a good belly laugh. Inviting laughter back into our lives is simply a matter of making the conscious decision to laugh. Though most of us are incited to laugh only when exposed to humor or the unexpected, each of us is capable of laughing at will. A laugh that comes from the belly carries with it the same positive effects whether prompted by a funny joke or consciously willed into existence. When our laughter comes from the core of our being, it permeates every cell in our physical selves, beginning in the center and radiating outward, until we are not merely belly laughing but rather body laughing.
Laughter has been a part of the human mode of expression since before evolution granted us the art of speech. Through it, we connected with allies while demonstrating our connection with people we didn’t know. In the present, laughter allows us to enjoy positive shared experiences with strangers and loved ones alike. Yet solitary laughter carries with it its own slew of benefits. An energetic and enthusiastic bout of whole-body laughter exercises the muscles, the lungs, and the mind in equal measure, leaving us feeling relaxed and content. When we laugh heartily at life’s ridiculousness instead of responding irritably, our focus shifts. Anger, stress, guilt, and sadness no longer wield any influence over us, and we are empowered to make light of what we originally feared. Laughter also opens our hearts, letting love and light in, changing our perspective, and enabling us to fix our attention on what is positive in our lives.
It is easy to laugh when we feel good, but it is when the world appears dim that we most need laughter in our lives. Our laughter then resonates through our hearts, filling the empty spaces with pure, unadulterated joy. We regain our footing in the moment and remember that no sorrow is powerful enough to rob us of our inborn happiness. When we understand that uninhibited laughter is the food of the soul, nourishing us from within, we know instinctively that life is worthwhile.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/self-improvement-peace-of-mind?page=38#post_2044206
The Power Of Saying No
*We’ve all had times when we say yes to someone but really want to say no.
*
It’s often difficult to say no because of the desire to be loved:
we want to be helpful, we want to show we care, but we may have little to give, are tired, overworked, or need alone time.
Do you feel that if you aren’t there for someone, they may reject you? Or that you’re somehow obliged to help as it makes you a ˜good person, parent or friend? Do you ever feel validated by being needed ?
It’s easy to believe that any time you take to relax or meditate is time that could be used elsewhere. But taking time out doesn’t mean it is selfish or even wasted time. Think about what happens when your day is spent constantly caring for others. Do you get resentful, irritated, or even angry? Do you find stress building up? Does the quality of care that you offer become affected by that inner tension? Or are you so used to being this way that it seems impossible to imagine being any other way? You may even think you’re not the relaxing type, or that if you do relax you won’t be able to cope with all the things you have to do.
However, by taking time for yourself, by lowering your blood pressure and releasing stress, you are immediately creating a more harmonious environment that can only benefit all those around you. When you take time out to be quiet it means you don’t get so angry, resentful, or frustrated; instead, you connect with who you really are. Then what you share with others is coming from that peaceful space. When you are energized and feeling good you will be able to do far more than if you are dragging yourself through your day with little energy or in a bad mood.
So, rather than being selfish, such activity is actually the least selfish thing you could do! This is when saying no to others means you are affirming yourself. The power of saying no is that you are empowered!
*We’ve all had times when we say yes to someone but really want to say no.
*
It’s often difficult to say no because of the desire to be loved:
we want to be helpful, we want to show we care, but we may have little to give, are tired, overworked, or need alone time.
Do you feel that if you aren’t there for someone, they may reject you? Or that you’re somehow obliged to help as it makes you a ˜good person, parent or friend? Do you ever feel validated by being needed ?
It’s easy to believe that any time you take to relax or meditate is time that could be used elsewhere. But taking time out doesn’t mean it is selfish or even wasted time. Think about what happens when your day is spent constantly caring for others. Do you get resentful, irritated, or even angry? Do you find stress building up? Does the quality of care that you offer become affected by that inner tension? Or are you so used to being this way that it seems impossible to imagine being any other way? You may even think you’re not the relaxing type, or that if you do relax you won’t be able to cope with all the things you have to do.
However, by taking time for yourself, by lowering your blood pressure and releasing stress, you are immediately creating a more harmonious environment that can only benefit all those around you. When you take time out to be quiet it means you don’t get so angry, resentful, or frustrated; instead, you connect with who you really are. Then what you share with others is coming from that peaceful space. When you are energized and feeling good you will be able to do far more than if you are dragging yourself through your day with little energy or in a bad mood.
So, rather than being selfish, such activity is actually the least selfish thing you could do! This is when saying no to others means you are affirming yourself. The power of saying no is that you are empowered!
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/self-improvement-peace-of-mind?page=38#post_2044412
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/self-improvement-peace-of-mind?page=38#post_2045502
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Positive Self-Talk for Personal Growth
Take positive thinking to the next level
Post published by Barton Goldsmith Ph.D. on Jan 20, 2015 in Emotional Fitness
Positive Self-Talk is a great tool for personal growth as well as for overcoming mood disorders. It can take the form of affirmations, internal dialogue, or prayer. You can choose the method that works best for you.The real trick is to learn to do it on a daily basis.
The use of affirmations became very popular in the 1980s with the help of You Can Heal Your Life, by author and publisher Louise L. Hay (whom I had the pleasure of meeting some years ago). Affirmations are short statements about how you want to improve or are improving yourself. A well-used one is “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better!” This one has been around forever, but there are millions more like “I enjoy perfect health” or “I am overcoming my fears.” You can make up your own. Repeating these statements many times throughout the day will change the way you think and feel. Yes, it works and, no, you cannot just say affirmations and expect your life to get better, unless you take the actions that are necessary to accomplish your goals.
Another method of Positive Self-Talk is to have a conversation with yourself about your behavior. For example, if you’ve been avoiding things as a means of self-protection, you can tell yourself that you no longer need to protect yourself the way you’ve been doing and that you are safe in the world that you have created. You can remind yourself that you are now in control of your life. You are not a victim, and you have the strength to deal with any situation, even if it causes you some anxiety.
This kind of internal dialogue can serve to make you stronger, help you be more of the person you want to be, and give you greater confidence. The more you do it, the better you will feel. I’m not suggesting that every thought be focused on your own personal growth, but rather that you take some time, every day, to give yourself a good talking to. The effects are pretty quick and last as long as you continue the process.
Another positive internal dialogue is simply telling yourself that you are and have been more than okay over the long term and that whatever is vexing you at the moment will pass. Many times we get upset at temporary situations and don’t look at how we have prevailed in the past. When you recall what you have had to overcome, it will give you the power to believe in yourself again and get over your current hurtle.
Using Positive Self-Talk on a daily basis is something I could never do without. Regardless of what method you use, focusing on the positive is better than focusing on all the negative stuff that has happened to you or may be going on in the world.
Source: PsychologyToday
Take positive thinking to the next level
Post published by Barton Goldsmith Ph.D. on Jan 20, 2015 in Emotional Fitness
Positive Self-Talk is a great tool for personal growth as well as for overcoming mood disorders. It can take the form of affirmations, internal dialogue, or prayer. You can choose the method that works best for you.The real trick is to learn to do it on a daily basis.
The use of affirmations became very popular in the 1980s with the help of You Can Heal Your Life, by author and publisher Louise L. Hay (whom I had the pleasure of meeting some years ago). Affirmations are short statements about how you want to improve or are improving yourself. A well-used one is “Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better!” This one has been around forever, but there are millions more like “I enjoy perfect health” or “I am overcoming my fears.” You can make up your own. Repeating these statements many times throughout the day will change the way you think and feel. Yes, it works and, no, you cannot just say affirmations and expect your life to get better, unless you take the actions that are necessary to accomplish your goals.
Another method of Positive Self-Talk is to have a conversation with yourself about your behavior. For example, if you’ve been avoiding things as a means of self-protection, you can tell yourself that you no longer need to protect yourself the way you’ve been doing and that you are safe in the world that you have created. You can remind yourself that you are now in control of your life. You are not a victim, and you have the strength to deal with any situation, even if it causes you some anxiety.
This kind of internal dialogue can serve to make you stronger, help you be more of the person you want to be, and give you greater confidence. The more you do it, the better you will feel. I’m not suggesting that every thought be focused on your own personal growth, but rather that you take some time, every day, to give yourself a good talking to. The effects are pretty quick and last as long as you continue the process.
Another positive internal dialogue is simply telling yourself that you are and have been more than okay over the long term and that whatever is vexing you at the moment will pass. Many times we get upset at temporary situations and don’t look at how we have prevailed in the past. When you recall what you have had to overcome, it will give you the power to believe in yourself again and get over your current hurtle.
Using Positive Self-Talk on a daily basis is something I could never do without. Regardless of what method you use, focusing on the positive is better than focusing on all the negative stuff that has happened to you or may be going on in the world.
Source: PsychologyToday
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