Yeh kya hai ?
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NO SPEAKA DE ENGLISH
A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and
engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but
her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:
The lady can’t take this any more,
‘You foul-mouthed obsessed pig !’ she retorted indignantly. ‘In this
country, we don’t speak aloud in Public places about our ex lives !’
‘Hey, coola down lady,’ said the man. ‘Who talkin’ bouta ex? I’m a
justa tellin’ my frienda how to spell ‘Mississippi.’
you’re gonna read this again.
@B@R_0_0_D wrote:
NO SPEAKA DE ENGLISH
A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and
engage in an animated conversation.
The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but
her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:
‘Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more !
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time.’
The lady can’t take this any more,
‘You foul-mouthed obsessed pig !’ she retorted indignantly. ‘In this
country, we don’t speak aloud in Public places about our ex lives !’
‘Hey, coola down lady,’ said the man. ‘Who talkin’ bouta ex? I’m a
justa tellin’ my frienda how to spell ‘Mississippi.’
you’re gonna read this again.
A Hotel Brochure in a Beiging Hotel – Hilarious
A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious. She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed. Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English.
Getting There: Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.
The Hotel: This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.Your Room: Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.
Bed: Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.
Above All: When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it.
100 camels
Abdul and Fatima were sitting outside a Mall in Mecca after Umra.
A rich Arab Sheikh approached them.
After pleasantries, the Arab asked where they were from.
“Pakistan,” Abdul replied.
Looking at his wife, the Arab said, “I’ll give you 100 Camels for her.”
Abdul looked stunned, and there was a long silence.
Finally he replied, “She’s not for sale.”
After the Arab left, the wife said:
“Abdul that was sooo romantic but what took you so long to answer?
Abdul replied:
“I was trying to figure out how to get 100 Camels back to Karachi.”
A man, called to testify at the Internal Revenue Service (IRS), asked his accountant for advice on what to wear.
“Wear your shabbiest clothing. Let him think you are a pauper,” the accountant replied.
Then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. “Do not let them intimidate you. Wear your most elegant suit and tie.”
Confused, the man went to his priest, told him of the conflicting advice, and requested some resolution to the dilemma. “Let me tell you a story,” replied the Priest.“A woman, about to be married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. ’Wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.” But when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. “Wear your most sexy negligee, with a V neck right down to your navel.”
The man protested: “What does all this have to do with my problem with the IRS?!”
@forgotten @disclaimer