How did you dealt with your biggest financial loss?
- 2606
- 56
-
- Last Comment
I Lost hefty chunk of my savings to one of my cousin, we were in good terms all these years and with full trust. He was a trader, a business man, and a trustworthy friend of mine.
From past few years, say 2-3 years I use to lend him money every month for fixed 1.5% returns. He invested this in his business (hotel). The returns were on time. The trust grew and my investment with him grew too.
Everything was fine untill on Sunday evening he made a confession that he lost all his funds including mine in the month of February itself in Options trading (I do trade Options and know the risks and would had not had allowed my money to be traded in that risky segment, he lied me that he invested my money in his hotel buisness that yield him good profits). And he use to pay 1.5% from his pocket from last 2 month after this loss and now he has got nothing left. He showed me his bank statement.
He just cried, cried and cried, he has got 3 year old daughter, a wife and her old mother dependent on him. When he broke this news to me I didn't know how to react, I just listened and kept listening. All this time I was numb, all I was thinking about how I saved that all money by comprising my needs that I gave him blindly.
The amount, for which a "Top end model INNOVA" car can be bought is all gone. Big chunk of my savings and I am unable to digest this fact. Can't ask for the compensation, looking at his current situation, his family. Though he told me that he would payback the amount in installments every month, but that would take him 18 years as per the promised amount. I have already lost all hopes, 18 years? With that consistancy, follow ups. Really? .Can't imagine.
Really I want to get out of this guilt !! How to come out of this traumatic situation? Every minute, every moment this thought of losing this much amount when I could have easily avoided is killing my badly! I am broke. Please help.
- Sort By
I can understand the pain. It hurts a lot. Man, it is so easy to give advice. Hmm. Money comes and goes, maybe this is the high time you reexamine your relationships. We need to put stoplosses to our relationships too
I appreciate your response bro.
1.5% is pure greed even with a relative.
And you put many common finance principle on backseat to fulfill it.
If it too good to be true then don’t believe it.
Anyway you yourself said its like losing a new innova in accident that too without any physical loss.
Life teaches lessons each time after these setbacks .
Learn while enjoying in your old car. 
Goodluck for future endeavors.
Thanks for the motivation, between about the greed part, 1.5% was justified when he said he makes 25% returns and wouldn’t mind sharing 1.5% with me
Your greed, high demand, however you wanna put it, doesn’t matter. What matters is you kept investing money behind something/ someone without having any clue where’s it going. I’m sorry this is entirely your fault, so I’m not really feeling sad about you. You can’t get the money back. Not unless you want to go the legal route. Even there it’ll take a lot of time, unless you can prove he assured your certain return on your investments. Court in that case might order him to sell properties (considering he owns all/ some of them) according to the value you’re due. But do you wanna go that path? If not, you can pretty much forget about the money.
I lost 50k, which was my entire savings after my father’s death, in Options too. I couldn’t deal with it for the time being, started breaking stuffs in home but that did nothing good, never does, then came to terms with it, uninstalled all the garbage trading apps and closed my trading account which had less than 10k by that time. That was the only right decision took.
The sooner you can come to term with your loss, the better. Keep working hard and aim how fast you can recover that money.
Good luck.
@ithehappy Thanks for the reality check. You are right.
be strong bro..
You reminded me of my 661 looted by RComm.. 😣
Sometime back..they did ask the users to fill the form right for lost balance recovery? ( Bank/wallet transfer)
What happened after that? 
RPOWER looted around 6000+ at the time of IPO sold those shares at around 70 closed Demat forever
Sorry to sound blunt. But no investment is safe if it pays 18% pa interest. FD interest are below 8%. You wanted more return should have been willing to take risk of possible default.
To be frank your friend intentionally cheated you. Now playing victim game.
This is the modus operandi of these type of people. How can someone invest Rs20lacs in stock options and wait till zero. Unbelievable.
My friend’s mother was cheated by her own elder sister’s son.
On one fine day after taking 10lacs for business investment, he came back and told that assistant took all 10lacs and ran away.
She cried telling me the story, and how that cheater still roams free with no repentance.
Accept the mistake and consequences, make sure no more collateral damages. After all Life is most precious than money.
Not a big deal to lose 20L in options trading if you don’t have the discipline of stop loss. Many fail to realise that options are the most riskiest and the keep hoping the trend will change any moment doubling their money. They will wait till the expiry, losing everything in a matter of weeks.
Just to be sure OP can check the trade statements his cousin would have received.
Neither a borrower, nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend.
think how much time it will take for you to earn that money back… if it is less than 3-4 years then its not a big deal.. dont take too much tension..
I can really feel your pain bro because we are feeling the same situation from 2 years. We had given money to some reputated people of our city on 1.25% but after demonetization first they start to denied for interest and later on(2019) principle amount too. We have filed all case in court but now corona come and our last hope is also gone.
Court cases otherwise also take a lot of time to settle and in this panic situation when everything is closed, chances of these things settling are way too less.
Take this is as lesson. And from next step keep this mind. Don’t try to come this everytime in your mind as this casues more stress. Learn from this and do check before doing anything . Ask yourself is right or wrong step? And also consult elder one from home before taking such big decisions .
Yes, have considered it as a lesson. Between informing my elders would deeply sadden them. Thanks for your concern.
Futures and Options and intraday tradings are as good as gambling
Trade only with long term and invest only that much amount which you can forget after investing then only you can make profit. greed in share market yealds mostly loss.
Never ever give loan to any friend or relative seeking monthly returns he can deny anytime and you may not do anything
Now try to think something else as tension will make things worse whatever happened is happened hope for more good upcoming things and surprise in your life , life has many good things ahead for you move on
Thanks bro.
Same thing already happened with me also but in my case my friend run away from city in midnight.actually in 2016 i gave him 12 lakhs for his business setup on 1% interest.but he never returned me money and one day he run away from city.i was shattered from inside because all my saving was gone in this.then from other persons i got to know that he also borrowed some money from others also.one day someone find him in other city.but he stood in front of city DM and said that sir these 5-6 peoples want money from him so if he was killed in any where.you can arrest them all and interrogate.then we leave that guy and never contacted him.From that time till now i never give money to anyone.
That’s very sad bro, being in the same shoes can relate to this so closely, the feeling, the depression, the trauma. Thanks for sharing it here.
What has happened can’t be reversed. If he pays, good; if he doesn’t you can’t do anything.
Think of it as your karma from some life has paid back and make peace with it and move on. It’s easier said than done though… I haven’t been able to make peace up until today
Yes bro, karma, same thoughts..
Read about your experience and really sorry for your losses.
Firstly its a lesson for life time. Ensure you don’t repeat it.
Secondly take this as a challenge and start working harder.
Earn and fulfil your and your families dreams. Nothing is impossible.
Start a business, service, what ever you are good at.
And make it a thumb rule… NEVER GIVE CREDIT NEVER TAKE CREDIT.
Enjoy your life. You have rest of your life. Utilise your time, life and left over money to the best considering current situation.
Take from your friend any amount he is in position to pay.
You don’t have to pressurise him. I know it’s a hard situation. But it’s his fault to risk someone else’s money like that. To can insist him on taking loan or borrow from others to repay you.
I hope you get your money back at the earliest. It’s a very bad situation. Please stay strong. Don’t lose hope.
Damn.Very sorry for your loss op.I too went through a similar yet different situation some years back.Had lent 50k to a friend with blind trust hoping he would return it.Didnt charge no interest etc I mean if u cant help a friend in need what good is that friendship.Later came to know it was to return a previous loan he had taken when he was out of options.He has assured me of returning it but only God knows now.1 lesson that a lot of ppl can take here is that never loan out money to even friends without a strong collateral and before loaning out do check whether they will be in the position to return it in the future.
Thanks for caring bro, sorry to learn you had to face the same. Reading all the comments here is already making me feel better, will definitely consider all suggestions.
Not sure what you are currently doing for a living but I think, you gotta be earning good to get such a big risk appetite.
‘Bigger risks fetches higher rewards,’ however this is only true when there is a good collateral in place to bail you out.
But looks like you got your self in a mess.. really sorry for the situation you are in.
It’s hard to digest. Even I lost 90k in 1 day & cummulatively around 4lac+ loss in Option selling.
I Couldn’t able to sleep when made such losses. Then as time passes, it heals. We have to accept the truth & go ahead.
u took any security like property paper of his hotel or his home?
Nope, we are cousins and didn’t find it important back then…but that was a mistake, when money involves one must do proper paper work. As I said earlier I feel pity for him coz he himself lost the same amount as me, I am very fond of him. I realised, enforcing him won’t help him or me either. The main reason for this thread was on how to overcome anxiety when u lose tons of money. Not in mood for a legal fight.want to soak it as soon as possible. And this forum is immensely helpful. Thanks
From what you’re saying, its not a big loss compared to how much you earn every month. I feel bad for you, but you were greedy and fell into the trap, but I think you will be fine. And your cousin is definitely duping you.
My dad gave 8 lakhs to uncle by selling one site (without telling me or mom. Sold for 15 lakhs. Now that property is worth 45 lakhs) due to 2% greed and the rest to another uncle for building his home a few years ago. He went the legal route with first uncle and after years they settled and he got back only around 4 lakhs in total. He couldn’t even get that 4 lakhs if he didn’t have a blank cheque signed by uncle for the money he gave. He won’t go the legal route with another uncle because he is his own brother and he thinks he will get it back in installments over decades (he won’t).
I have a close friend who I knew would probably not return any of my money but I still gave him money everytime he asked totalling to more than 35k from my own measly earnings. That is a huge amount for me personally, but I gave him the money knowing what he would do though he promises to return it back. So, its on me and I have no regrets about it.
Another “close” ahole friend tried to fleece me of 2 lakhs with some bs investment. He knew my financial position. Yet he tried to rob me blind. I did not even go to his marriage recently. But I have never fallen into such schemes. He made enough money through other kuris anyway and is now in USA.
I lost 30k in online sites such as Dream11. So, I stopped that.
Never mix money with relationship if you actually want your money back. And never gamble any money you cannot afford to lose. That’s always been my motto.
Commited Suicide 
Ghost here 
This should not be taken at heart, learn from this mistake and take care in future. Mistakes should always be taken positively. Trade keeping in mind your budget and analyze the risk factors properly before you invest.
me jub college me tha in first year i lended 1000 Rs to one of frined, he used to help me lot in studies and all so i helped him too , 1000 at that time was very importatnt to me .. he never returned the money .. kepp making excuses like i will give or i will give … told this to my house and they said let it be , itna to hum daan kar dete hai .. he soon stopped talking to me and part his way like nothing happen .. such a SC*oundral thief …(it may not be appropiate but i have blacklisted from trust any one sharing his atributes 
SC* for life)
since then i made this rule of not lending anyone no matter what .. i either give them as gift or whatever but never lend them .. if i be bad so be it ..
so if it’s not in your capacity to gift some amount to someone dont lend it ..its like good deeds to someone , never expect for them to pay back.. i learnt this in my college life
i guess in your case its not possible for you to GIFT that amount .. so you shouldnt had lend it
That’s your great luck, you have learned this lesson with just 1k rupees. Some people learned after lending big amounts.
Khush raho, soch lo ki Bhagwaan ke naam par kisi Gareeb ko daan kar diyaa..
Aisa sochoge toh Bhagwaan bhi khush hoke tumko 21 din paisa double waali scheme mein register kar dega aur fir tumko kahin se apaar daulat praapt hogi…
Bas itna hai tumse kehna, bas itna hai tum se kehna…
Now coming back to main post, how I dealt with huge financial losses, I really didn’t took any huge financial risks so usually it has been like approximately 25k-40K multiple times. For few days, it does feel hard.
Stop thinking what you could have done with that money alternatively. This feeling becomes suicidal if you nurture it longer in your mind. Another good thing is you have created a short term loyal friend in him, just don’t pressurize him any further else he would revolt and become your anti. Jitna paisa dheere dheere deta ho le lo, and keep supporting him emotionally, but don’t pour more money in his basket.
Guilt might wane thin but it will stay forever, just don’t let it stick to your heart.