Is feminism destroying the institution of marriage? (Source : telegraph)
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Model of bride attacking husband
The majority of divorce cases in the UK and US are instigated by women
By Martin Daubney
There is a simaltaneous boom in women seeking divorces because their husbands aren’t doing enough chores and because their husbands do all the chores. What is a man to do, asks Martin Daubney
A new survey has shown that women are now initiating 69 per cent of divorces – and they’re increasingly doing it because they claim their husbands don’t pull their weight with housework and childcare.
The report claims that these women are heading to the divorce courts because they’ve been “inspired” by second wave feminist thinking that claims “marriage is inherently hostile to women”.
For the American-based How Couples Meet and Stay Together study, researchers followed 2,262 heterosexual adults aged between 19-64 over the course of six years, from 2009 to now. In that time, 371 of those couples separated and 92 divorced.
And at the root of all this turmoil is our old friend gender equality.
Despite endless surveys “proving” men are still club-wielding Neanderthals, I don’t know any man who doesn’t do his share of housework
Martin Daubney
The survey’s head, Professor Michael Rosenberg of Stanford University, says: “Marriage as an institution has been a little bit slow to catch up with expectations for gender equality. Wives still take their husband’s surnames, and are sometimes pressured to do so.
“Husbands still expect their wives to do the bulk of the housework and the bulk of the childcare. The results are consistent with a feminist critique of heterosexual marriage as a gendered institution in which wives find less satisfaction than husbands do”.
Divorce: the popular misconception is that it’s all down to adulterous men
Fewer people are getting married in 2015, while the divorce rate continues to climb Alamy
Before we dismiss this as American claptrap, it’s worth pointing out that the picture is similar in Britain. Data from the Office for National Statistics shows that there were 118,140 divorces in 2012, 65 per cent of which were granted to women.
The survey throws up a number of big questions, the first of which is: who the hell are these men who don’t pull their weight?
Despite endless surveys “proving” men are still club-wielding Neanderthals, I don’t know any man – including my dad, a coal miner of 45 years whose contribution to housework in the 1970s was to lift his legs while my mum Hoovered under them – who doesn’t do his share these days.
Moreover, I know plenty of blokes who do more than their other halves, including an army of valiant stay-at-home dads or self-employed men who work from home (like me) and take on the lion’s share. They never bleat, because the only thing more boring than cleaning is talking about cleaning.
The next questions are: what kind of woman would divorce a man over a domestic chores rota? And would you want to marry one anyway?
Who are these men who don’t pull their weight in the home? Alamy
Rather than sort it out, or, heaven forbid, hire a cleaner to help save their marriage (no doubt that would be deemed a ‘sexist’ suggestion, since the overriding majority of cleaners are women), in this never-ending, self-destructive pursuit for equality, more and more dissatisfied women are heading to the divorce courts.
And there – thanks to punitive alimony and child custody laws that are systematically stacked against men – their husbands will likely enjoy anything but equal treatment.
So what should men do?
Picking over the scorched earth of this survey for green shoots of hope, perhaps the logical answer is to not marry at all. After all, in cohabiting couples, of the 76 break-ups, 56 per cent were instigated by women, roughly the same as men.
But the problem with that theory is marriage makes all of us happier, at least for a while – and that’s especially true for men.
Of this study’s married couples, on average men rated their happiness at 4.61 out of five, significantly higher than women at 4.46, which was still higher than cohabiting happiness scores of 4.29 for women and 4.22 for men.
Next, you might reasonably argue that modern women deserve equality and married men should rightly up their game on the home front to keep them tickety-boo.
But before you throw yourself into domestic servitude to pre-emptively snipe divorce, a word of caution.
For this study completely flies in the face of my own research, and, in many ways, common sense, which tells us that women don’t even want husbands who are little more than feminised slaves.
Three years ago, when writing about the boom in stay at home dads (based on my own, arduous, six-month stint as sole carer for my young son), I came across sobering news when speaking to one of London’s top divorce lawyers, Vanessa Lloyd-Platt.
She told me the second-biggest boom in UK divorces – almost all of which were initiated by women – were those where the man was a stay-at-home-dad while she a high-earner. Ms Lloyd-Platt claimed women dumping stay-at-home dads accounted for 10 per cent of all divorces, which had doubled in five years, and affected 25-30 per cent of all couples in that dynamic.
Men ‘just as broody as women’, study suggests
Men ‘just as broody as women’, study suggests Alamy
“After about six to 12 months, the novelty of having a beta male who does the dishes wears off," said Ms Lloyd-Platt. "They just don’t find subservient guys sexy – and so look to alpha males in the workplace.”
(Incidentally, the biggest boom, again initiated by women, was “silver separators” – Shirley Valentine-style empty-nesters who’ve had enough of their tired old man).
Some jaded men might sigh, “what’s the point marrying a card-carrying feminist if it’s more likely to end in divorce?” After all, who wants to endure a marriage that replaces “to have and to hold” with “to have and to henpeck?”
Perhaps the most sobering conclusion of all is this: is feminism’s take on marriage making any of us – men, women and children – any happier? And is divorce, and all the misery and familial damage this inflicts, the final hollow victory for gender equality?
@Achilles wrote:
Vu
+36KG
Interesting topic, want some gyaan on this
Akele kitte saal rahenge hum sab chotu
Barood bhai forget about US and UK how about India, with the biased laws we have where are we heading to..
The recent cases of Jasleen, Indrani, Rohatk sisters etc., are classic examples
@Achilles wrote:
Akele kitte saal rahenge hum sab chotu
ye bhi thk hai…! xD 
Calling critics
@DealSeeker
@dimepincher
Unofficial critic
@Crook
well that will b a reverse case in country like russia, belarus and ukraine or some of former USSR countries. as the man: woman ratio is too low there. seems there is men, who is main cause of destroying integrity of marriage..
…the only thing more boring than cleaning is talking about cleaning.
And there – thanks to punitive alimony and child custody laws that are systematically stacked against men – their husbands will likely enjoy anything but equal treatment.
“After about six to 12 months, the novelty of having a beta male who does the dishes wears off,” said Ms Lloyd-Platt. “They just don’t find subservient guys sexy – and so look to alpha males in the workplace.” #Catch22
Martin Daubney 
Its natural..if ones wife also works..then she deserves that….Couple should divide the work..b/w them..but basic prob is that women wants too much Cleanliness .and therefore will push her husband to do that..
@Achilles wrote:
Barood bhai forget about US and UK how about India, with the biased laws we have where are we heading to..
The recent cases of Jasleen, Indrani, Rohatk sisters etc., are classic examples
From when did you become interested in these social issues? 
Perhaps the most sobering conclusion of all is this: is feminism’s take on marriage making any of us – men, women and children – any happier? And is divorce, and all the misery and familial damage this inflicts, the final hollow victory for gender equality?
TIT FOR TAT!
My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and
I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.
Three years of c…ourtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to
admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before,
has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.
I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship
and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy.
My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of
bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.
One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.
“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered.
He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette
at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t
even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:
” What can I do to change your mind?”
Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess,
I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered :
“Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind,
Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both
are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?”
He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….”
My hopes just sank by listening to his response.
I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his
scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes….
My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..”
This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.
“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and
you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore
the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs
to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city,
I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your
“good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that
I can calm the cramps in your tummy.
You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism.
I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.
You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes,
I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and
help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while
strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and
tell you the colour of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face…
Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you
more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”
My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as
I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer,
if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing
your favourite bread and fresh milk…
I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face,
clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….
Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as
he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…
That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of
excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that
lies in between the peace and dullness.
Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never
been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and
romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship.
Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and
that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…
The answer is here, what’s happening in india.Just see the highlighted part & compare yourself
1 LOVE : The special feeling that makes you feel all warm and wonderful.
2 RESPECT : Treating your spouse as you would like to be treated.
3 APPRECIATION : To be grateful for all the good things your spouse does for you.
4 HAPPINESS : The full enjoyment of each moment spent together with a smiling face.
5 FORGIVENESS: The ability to let things be without anger.
6 SHARING : The joy of giving without thoughts of receiving.
7 HONESTY : The quality of always telling the truth.
@iamspl.xxx wrote:
Warning?
Nice way
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Vu
+36KG
Interesting topic, want some gyaan on this