https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1216566
Alpha.Barood
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Laughing is the best medicine... :D
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https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1216567
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*Glasses *
“I keep three pairs of glasses with me. I use one for near sightedness and one for far sightedness.”
“And the third?”
“To look for the other two.”
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1217742
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Teach him a lesson
A Texan lands in Sydney, and is picked up by a taxi. After requesting a tour of the city, he starts into a tirade about the small town airport and how in Texas they have larger runways on their ranches.
They are soon crossing the Sydney Harbor Bridge, and the man is further unimpressed – "I have a duck pond bigger than that harbor, and an ornamental bridge to span it that makes this look like a toy.
The Sydney-Newcastle expressway also gets his scorn " Is this a road, or a track?"
So when a Kangaroo jumped out in front of the cab, causing the sudden and severe application of the brakes, the driver couldn’t help himself – “Stupid grasshoppers!”
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1221238
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1222342
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1223524
In the Court
The judge says to a double-homicide defendant,
“You’re charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer.”
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out,
“You bastard!”
The judge says,
“You’re also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."
The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out,
“You rotten bastard!”
The judge stops and says to Paddy in the back of the courtroom:
“Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or I’ll charge you with contempt.
Is that understood?"
Paddy stands up and says,
“I’m sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years I’ve lived next door to that ass-hole,
and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn’t have one.“
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1223525
Doctor Doctor….
He’s very good! If you tell him you want a second opinion, He’ll go out and come in again.
~~~
He treated a woman for yellow jaundice for three years before he realized she was Chinese.
~~~
Another time, he gave a Patient six months to live.
At the end of the six months, the patient hadn’t paid his bill, so, the doctor gave him another six months.
~~~
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1223526
~~~
While he was talking to me, his nurse came in and said,
“Doctor, there is a man here who thinks he’s invisible.”
The doctor said, “Tell him I can’t see him.”
~~~
Another time, a man came running in the office and yelled, “Doctor, doctor! – my son just swallowed a roll of film!”
The doctor calmly replied,
“Well let’s just wait and see what develops.”
~~~One patient came in and said,
“Doctor, I have a serious memory problem”
The doctor asked, “When did it start?”
The man replied, “When did what start?”
~~~
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1223527
I remember one time I told my doctor I had a ringing in my ears.
His advice: “Don’t answer it.”
~~~
My doctor sure has his share of nut cases.
One said to him, “Doctor, I think I’m a bell.”
The doctor gave him some pills and said,
“Here, take these —
If they don’t work, give me a ring."
~~~
Another guy told the doctor that he thought he was a deck of cards
The doctor simply said,
“Go sit over there. I’ll deal with you later.”
~~~
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1223529
~~~
When I told my doctor I broke my leg in two places, he told me to stop going to those places.
~~~
You know, doctors can be so frustrating.
You wait a month and a half for an appointment,
Then he says, “I wish you had come to me sooner.”
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1223986
My friend recently got a job with Google. This is where he worked today.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1224678
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1225196
I laughed more than I should’ve
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1225796
Gyan of the millennium :
A woman will always forgive & forget – but she’ll never let you forget that she had forgiven and forgotten,,
A woman will always forgive & forget – but she’ll never let you forget that she had forgiven and forgotten,,
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1226737
Thought I gotcha
One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his
keys on five different cars before he found his. Then, he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally, the fellow started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the driver, read him his rights and administered the breathalyser
test. The results showed a reading of 0.0. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be.
The driver replied, “Tonight, I’m the designated decoy.”
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1228040
Horse
A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse’s trainer meets him before the race and says," All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to
shout; ‘Aleeee ooop!’ really loudly in the horse’s ear."
The race begins, and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer’s ridiculous advice, and the horse crashes straight through the
centre of the jump.
At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, “I’ll have to do it,” and yells, "Aleeee oop!’ really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier
problems the horse only finishes the third. The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong.
The jockey replies,“Nothing is wrong with me-
it’s this horse. What is he – deaf or something?”
The trainer replies, “Deaf? He’s not deaf – he ’s blind!”
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1231088
2 Girls face to face:
.
.
1st: hi sweetheart
2nd: hi, Darling
..
And when they talk on their backs
about
them
.
.
1st: she is so selfish (matlabi)
.
.
2nd: she is kamini number 1
.
.
.
.
2 Boys face to face:
.
.
1st: kesa hey kamenay? lal shirt main
tu pura
yeda lag raha hai be
.
.
2nd: kutte, apne baap se mazakk … ??
.
.
And when they talk on their backs
.
.
1st: mast banda hai yaar
.
.
2nd: bhai hai apna.. Bhai.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1231111
Population Comparison.
NDIAN : I hav 4 sis & 3 bro. Wat abt U?
AMERICAN : I hav no sis or bro
but I hav 4 Moms from 1st dad , 3 dads from 1st mom.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1231112
AMERICAN LIFE STYLE..
-—————————————-
DAUGHTER: Sorry Dad, I got married yesterday.. Forgot to invite U.
DAD: U naughty.. It’s Ok.. But Don’t forget next Time.
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1231116
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard.
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken
care of.
He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head. He then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.
An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour.
This continued off and on for several weeks.
Curious I pinned a note to his collar: ‘I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.’
The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar:
‘He lives in a home, with my non stop chatting and nagging wife, he’s trying to catch up on his sleep ……
Can I come with him tomorrow ?
Thanks !’
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1231117
Whole life in one song :
1 to 15 year :
Naino mein sapna
15 to 25 year :
Sapno main sajna
25 to 35 year :
Sajna pe dil aa gaya
35 to 45 year :
Kyu sajna pe dil aa gaya???
After 45 year :
Ta thaiya ta thaiya ho..!!
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1233269
OVER ACTOR
https://www.desidime.com/discussions/laughing-is-the-best-medicine-d?page=4#post_1234268
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