»One of the very true greatest illusions of life is that:
“We always believe there is more time in tomorrow than today”

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MOBILE PHONE IS A STAPLE FOOD…….

Emptiness sans mobile staple…..International Telecommunication Union says,,,,,Number of active mobile phones will reach 7.3 billion by 2014, more than people on earth. Compared to other daily requirements, only 4.5 billion have access to working toilets and 1.1 billion globally have an access to clean, safe drinking water,
As per a report there were 50 per cent of all robberies were mobile phone thefts.
Mobile phone is the world’s unique staple food today, higher than any single staple food. Without this 21st century’s staple, we are lost……………Hence the phobia called:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Researchers in UK, have found/established the world’s most fearful/biggest phobia being, Nomophobia,!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

‘Three Kick Rule’

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Cowra. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old farmer Peter replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”

The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial lawyers in Australia. If you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you & take everything you own.”

The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in North Cowra. We settle small disagreements like this with the ‘Three Kick Rule.’

The lawyer asked, “What is the ‘Three Kick Rule’?”

The Farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.”

The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot dropped him to his knees!

His second kick sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer’s third kick, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay, you old fart. Now it’s my turn.”

(I love this part)
h1.
The farmer smiled, said, “Nah, I give up. You can have the duck.”

When you are educated, you’ll believe only half of what you hear.
When you’re intelligent, you know which half.

Marriage in Heaven

On their way to get married, a young couple was involved in a fatal car accident.

The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven waiting for God to deal with their entry.

While waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven they asked God.

He replied "I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer for a couple of months.

While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married, should they get married? What with the eternal aspect of it all? “What if it doesn’t work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?”

Another month passed Heaven finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled.

“Yes," he informed the couple, “You can get married in Heaven.”

“Great!” said the couple. “But we were just wondering; what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce here?”

God, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground…

“What’s wrong?” asked the frightened couple.

“OH, COME ON !!! " God shouted. “It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it’ll take to find a lawyer?”

A guy stuck his head into a barber shop and asked, ‘How long before I can get a haircut?’

The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, ‘About 2 hours.’

The guy left.

A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, ‘How long before I can get a haircut?’ The barber looked around the shop and said, ‘About 3 hours.’ The guy left.

A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, ‘How long before I can get a haircut?’ The barber looked around the shop and said, ‘About an hour and half.’ The guy left.

The barber turned to a friend and said, ‘Hey, Bill, do me a favor. Follow that guy, and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn’t ever come back.’

Bill followed that guy…
A little while later, Bill returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, ‘So, where does that guy go when he leaves here?’ Bill looked up, choking on laughter, tears in his eyes,

and said,

……………“Your house.”

The phone rang in the stockbroker’s office.

“May I speak with Mr Bradford?”

“I’m sorry. Mr Bradford is on another line.”

This is Mr Ingram’s office. We’d like to know if he’s bullish or bearish right now."

“He’s talking to his wife. Right now I’d say he’s sheepish… "

Banta Singh was fed up with life and told a friend, ‘I am going to jump off the 8th storey of building and kill myself.’
‘But there are no eight-storey buildings in our town,’ replied his friend. ‘The highest has only four floors.’
‘In that case, I will jump off it twice,’ replied Banta undaunted.