I think it creates a little smile on everyone's face :D
- 27243
- 820
-
- Last Comment
Santa: ‘Get an ambulance here quick, he’s bleeding from his nose and ears and I tink both his legs are broken.’
Operator: ‘What is your location sir?’
Santa: ‘Outside number 28 Connaught Place .’
Operator: ‘How do you spell that sir?’
Silence…. (heavy breathing) and after a minute.
Operator: ‘Are you there sir?’
More heavy breathing and another minute later.
Operator: ‘Sir, can you hear me?’
This goes on for another few minutes until….
Operator: ‘Sir, please answer me. Can you still hear me?’
Santa: ‘Yes, sorry bout dat…
I couldn’t spell Connaught place, so I just dragged him round to M G road
Lord ganesha had two wives Riddhi and Siddhi….
Most men have one…. Ziddi…
“If the loser smiles after losing the game , the winner loses the thrill of his victory”!!
Thats the power of Smile !!
Behind every Successful Man there is a Woman……
Because Women don’t run behind Unsuccessful Man..!!
‘Sympathy’… You can get from Anybody — But…!! ‘Jealousy’… You have to Earn it….!
Drink 5 cups of milk and try to push the wall ….
And then drink 5 cups of alcohol and watch …. It’ll move on its own !!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Only 3 living beings are immune to cold on earth !
1. Polar bears
2. Penguins
3. Females wearing sleeveless & backless in marriages !
Santa k sir se khoon nikal rha tha.
Dr – Ye kaise hua?
Santa – Main hath se diwar tod raha tha, kisi ne kaha Paji kabhi khopdi ka bhi istemal kar lia karo…
Getting Bored??? Need sum adventure in life?
Go to a stranger’s wedding and scream…. ’Don’t marry dear…. ’ I still love you’!!!
Insaan sub se zyada Mafi kis k samane mangta hai ??
Guess, guess ! ! ¡ !
Bihkari k samne -- “Maaf karo Baba”
One economical thought: ’D best line wich helps 2 save money wen going on dinner wid ur gf- . . . "bol kya khayegi MOTI..?
An interesting Line written at the back of a sardar biker’s shirt:
“If u r able to read this it means my wife has fallen off….please inform me..!”
Chess says everything about men & women.
The King has to take one step at a time,
while the Queen can do whatever she feels like!
बहुत कम ही देखने को मिलता है की पुत्र अपने पिता के नक़्शे-कदम पर चले। आसाराम इस मामले में बड़े खुशनसीब निकल गये।
Two Boys!
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous.
They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.
The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, “Do you know where God is, son?”
The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone,
“Where is God?!”
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “WHERE IS GOD?!”
The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home & dived into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, “What happened?”
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time!”
“GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!”
Some cultures do have a distinct advantage !!!
When you change your wife, you can still keep the same photo on your desk.
Deported
A British man has been thrown out of Pakistan for testing positive for 4 banned substances…..
Toothpaste, Deodorant, Soap and Shampoo….
Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein khayal aata hai ….. agar zindagi teri zulfo ki chhav me guzar jati to HOME LOAN lene ki zarurat na padti..
Things you find on twitter. Wow
A Sardarji comes up to
Pakistan border on his bike. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders.
The guard Iqbal stops him
and says, ’What’s in the bags?’ ‘Sand,’ answered the Sardarji.
Iqbal says, ’We’ll just see about that. Get
off the bike.’
Iqbal’s guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing
in them but sand. He detains the Sardarji all night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover
that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases the Sardarji, puts the sand into new
bags, hefts them onto the Sardarji’s shoulders, and lets him cross the border.
A week later, the same
thing happens. Iqbal asks, ‘What have you got?’ ‘Sand,’ says the Sardarji.
Iqbal does his thorough
examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to the
Sardar, and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three
years.
Finally, the Sardarji doesn’t show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a ‘Dhaba’ in
Islamabad.
‘Hey, Buddy,’ says Iqbal, ‘I know you are smuggling something. It’s driving me crazy. It’s all
I think about…I can’t sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?’
The Sardaji, sips his
Lassi and says, ‘Bikes’
Irish Suits
Paddy and Mick were walking along a street in London…
Paddy looked in one of the shop windows and saw a sign that caught his eye.
The sign read, “Suits £5.00 each, Shirts £2.00 each, trousers £2.50 per pair”.
Paddy said to his pal:
“Mick, look at dem prices!
We could buy a whole lot of those and when we get back to Ireland we could make a fortune.
Now when we go in you stay quiet, okay?
Let me do all da talking ‘cause if they hear our accents, they might think we’re thicko’s from Ireland and try to screw us.
I’ll put on me best English accent."
“Roight y’are Paddy, I’ll keep me mouth shut, so I will. You do all da business,” said Mick.
They go in and Paddy said in a posh voice:
“Hello my good man. I’ll take 50 suits at £5.00 each, 100 shirts at £2.00 each, and 50 pairs of trousers at £2.50 each.
I’ll back up our van ready to load them on, don’t you know.”
The owner of the shop said quietly:
“You’re from Ireland, aren’t you?”
“Well yes, so we are” replied a surprised Paddy. “What gave us away?”
_
The owner replied:
“This is the dry-cleaners.”_