@B@R_0_0_D wrote:@

नेता (बच्चे से): तुम चाय क्यों बेच रहे हो?
बच्चा: क्योंकि मुझे आपकी तरह देश बेचना नहीं आता न!

After that, नेता (बच्चे से):

sharma_ji wrote:

@B@R_0_0_D wrote:@

नेता (बच्चे से): तुम चाय क्यों बेच रहे हो?
बच्चा: क्योंकि मुझे आपकी तरह देश बेचना नहीं आता न!

After that, नेता (बच्चे से):

jab se pappu ne Nammu ko kat khaya..

Gaur farmaaiye 

Mehfil me hamare joote kho gaye to ham ghar kaise jayenge?
Mehfil me hamare joote kho gaye to ham ghar kaise jayenge?

kisine kaha-“Aap shayari to shuru kijiye,
itne milenge ki aap gin nahi payenge”.

Proverbs

1. If you’re too open minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

3. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

4. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

5. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

6. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

7. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

8. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

9. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

10. Junk is something you’ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

11. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

12. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

Ransom

1 Aurat Kidnap Hui Aur Kidnap Karne Walon Ne Uske Pati Ko Phone Kiya:
“Agar Aaj Raat Tak Rakam (Pesa) Na di Toh Hum Teri Biwi Ka Murder Kar Denge”
Ha ha ( Jaldi Jaldi )
Aur Bichara Pati Khamosh Raha.
Kya Karey
Aur
Agle Din Phir Phone Aya
“Agar Aaj Raat Tak Tumara Pesa (Rakam) Na di Toh Hum Teri Biwi Ko Wapas Tere Ghar Salla Chhodi Chhodi Ayenge Sala Bevkuff
Pati: “Raqam Bol Kaminey, Daraata Kyu Hai ?”.

Dad – Badi hokar kya karogi?
Daughter – Maa Banugi, Padhai Karungi, Shaadi Karungi
Dad – Tu kuch b kar par thoda Sequence ka Dhyaan rakhna…

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
______________________________

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
_____________________________

There was no better feeling as a child.

Wife said during Karwachouth : chota mota hi sahi, par gold ka kuch la do…….
.
.
Husband
“Ye le Choti gold flake”

A Punjabi Couple goes to England…

There at Hotel:-

Punjabi to Waiter:
“Sir, Most respectfully I beg to say that I am ill & Can’t come to school Kindly Grant Me Tea  for 2 Please.”

Waiter is Surprised 
But Understnds & brings Tea…

Wife: “Wah ji,Twanu te fur fur English auandi aey”

Husband: “Halley te main Paani waastey Thirsty Crow v Sunani hai..!!!!”

PRAY REGULARLY

There is a story of about a sea captain who in his retirement skippered a boat taking day-trippers to Shetland Islands.
On one trip, the boat was full of young people.
They laughed at the old captain when they saw him say a prayer before sailing out, because the day was fine and the sea was calm.
However they weren’t long at sea when a storm suddenly blew up and the boat began to pitch violently. The terrified passengers came to the captain and asked him to join them in prayer.
But he replied, “I say my prayers when it’s calm. When it’s rough I attend to my ship.”

A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote in her

purse. He cud’nt control his curiosity n asked “Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?” She replied

" No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today..


The story

continues….
The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased.
Shocked

at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing. He said your husband has blocked your credit

card.
MORAL : Respect the hobbies of your husband. 😆

Story continues….
Wife took out her husbands

credit card from purse and uses it to clear all the bills. Unfortunately he didn’t block his own

card.

Moral: Obey your wife….in all situations

I went out last night and left my car at the pub and took

the bus home.
.
.
.
.
.
.
h1. I was very proud of myself this morning as I had never driven a bus before.

and irony is that dataservice provided by you only !